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hi, I'm new to BB.. I just want 2 share my story with some people who might actually understand. I lost my baby 4 weeks and 3 days ago. its amazing how insenstive people are.. you aleady have kids.. you can try again.. wasn't meant 2 be.. blah blah blah!
So yes, I have 2 children already to my ex, violent, husband. I am engaged to be married again, & up until 4 weeks ago I was on cloud 9, soon to be married to the most wonderful man in the world.
My Fiance & I were not trying for a baby. We had decided to wait till our honeymoon & try then. I was taking the pill.. but had been taking antibiotics for a couple of months & totally forgot that it affected my pill. The day we lost our baby was probably the worst day of my life. We were n the city (an hour and a half from home) with some of his friends. My fiance had gotten drunk & flipped out.. TOTALLY out of character for him!!! He left me in the city by myself! and went off with his friends, leaving me with no money, phone or any way to get back to where we were staying. & then it happened, in the middle of a very public place I started bleeding brown goo :'(. i knew right away what was happening. I tried calling my fiance from the concierge but he didnt listen to what I was saying, just ranted on about something else. in the end a guy felt sorry for me and gave me $10 to get a cab. I got as far as I could then walked the rest of the way. I'm sure you can picture what I looked like by this stage ad was very thankful it was late & I didn't see anybody.
Back in our room I was in alot of pain physically & emotionally. I rang my fiance a million times but he wouldnt answer. In the end I just wanted to go home. So I drove myself, after no sleep, in agony, all the way back home at 3:30am. I tried to sleep whe I got home but just couldn't. I tried ringing my fiance and eventually he answed, still out of it he refused to come home, even though he knew what was happening! in the end, when he sobered up he came back. They were the worst few hours of my life, not only had I lost our precious baby but my fiance was acting in a way I didn't know was possible.
Since then we have been to counselling.. and i now understand (but dont condone) why he acted the way he did that night. I forgive him, but it will take time to trust him again.
I still think of my baby every single day. I didn't leave the house for a week and a half and I still am not all that keen on it. I am really struggling now because i have been expecting my period and its not shown. have had horrible cramps almost all month, which i've read is normal. we used no protection all month but i've done a HPT and it was BFN. The thing is, now I've lost my baby all I can think about is how much I wish I was pregnant.. my fiance doesnt get it & doesn't want to try yet which is also so hard.
I just cant stop thinking that my baby is gone. it tears me apart & now, as inconvenient as it could be, all I want is another baby :(
sorry for rambling on. thanks for letting me share x

I'm very sorry for the loss of your baby Grinnysgirl. :hug:

hi. i just wanted to welcome you to BB, im sorry its under such sad circumstances! Im so sorry for the loss of your little baby!! Big hugs to you! there are many wonderfull ladies here who will give you amazing support. there are special threads for ttc after loss so have a look around and im sure you will find some great girls to chat to who have bee/are going through the same stuff!!!!

So sorry for the loss of your baby :hug:. After my loss I too just wanted to be pregnant again, it's hard. I hope you find comfort and support here on BB and the strength to get through.

Regards,
Dianne
Emmanuel born sleeping @24wks

So sorry for your loss, I hope you find BB to be support and comfort for you.

xoxo

i am so sorry for you loss :hug:
But you have come to the right place for support :comfort:
Thinking of you xxx

I'm so so so very sorry for your loss. :hug:

so sorry 2 hear of your loss, your in my thoughts :comfort:

I'm so sorry for your loss grinnys girl :hug: I hope you'll find support here amongst the BellyBelly community.

I fell pregnant on the my 2nd cycle after our m/c....
yesterday i had some pinkish spotting so had an u/s.. our dates had us at 8 weeks 4 days, The baby measured 6 weeks 5 days with no heartbeat.
I am booked for d/c monday but have since read so many stories by woman just like me who went on to have heathy pregnancies. I'm so confused. This has been like a nightmare. I keep saying to myself is there a chance they are wrong, but i think its denial. And when reality kicks in it HURTS so bad :(

I am so sorry about what you are going through. It would be a truly awful time. Do you have any close friends to talk to? Maybe a counsellor? Someone who can just listen.

My thoughts are with you.

Grinnysgirl - oh sweetie. Such devastating experiences for you over such a short time - I hope that you are recovering from the procedure well enough physically. Emotionally - it will take more time than the physical healing. Go gently on yourself. I am so sorry for the loss of both your little bubs. I recommend that you link in with a counsellor, when you feel a bit stronger. Also, sweetie - I'll give you a link prepared by Ianna. Read it in your own time, but I strongly recommend that you ask for testing. Whether or not you decide to try again, you might have a condition which is treatable and any future risks will be minimised. But for now, go gently and grieve as much as you need to and give yourself time to heal precious one.

Oh here's that link - I found it very useful in my journey - https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...formation.html