not coping :(

Hi, I'm new to the forum. I posted my story yesterday, seeking support.. because it seems I'm meant to be over it already in the eyes of everyone else.
I am having a particularly bad day today. its been 4 wks & 4 days & I dont feel any better :(
My DH announced only a couple of days after the m/c that he didn't want to try for a long time.
All I want in the world is to be pregnant again :O( what do you do with that!!??
And does anyone notice the sudden influx of pregnant people or newborns EVERYWHERE after a loss? :(
I know 10 pregnant people & 2 friends just had babies. My best freind text me just now to let me know how her scan went.. she is 7 weeks.
I have been really considerate and congratulated her,have listened to her talk all about her being pregnant all the time.. but dont people ever think I AM GRIEVING??
I'm sorry if i sound bitter. I'm just so sad & sometimes wish ppl were a little more considerate.
She is so happy 2 be pregnant & she should be.. but I am struggling to come to terms with the fact my baby is gone :(

oh hun i am so sorry to hear of your loss,
i too have been through some of the situtaions that you are going through now. i wanted to get pregnant again as soon as we lost our little girl but DH didnt want to. after a bit of a chat with him i figured it was because he was scared. Im not sure if that is the same for your DH but maybe a nice long chat with him will help.

People dont think about what they say/ do before they do it sometimes, but also alot of people have no idea what you are going through and even if they did know what you are trying to comprehend they have no idea what to say or do to help you.. trust me after i lost Kyarna i tried to help another mummy through the loss of her baby and i had no idea what to do.
i am really sorry if none of that helped,
actually the best thing i found was to talk and i didnt feel that i could do that IRL so i used alot of forums to express my feelings. just make sure you dont bottle things up, it cdoesnt matter if you think it sounds bitter or mean or even silly, i can tell you that there are ladies in here that would have thought the exact same thing :)
Once again i am so sorry for your loss

thanks so much Bobbie for taking the time to respond, i really appreciate it.
My DH seems more worried about the workload a baby will bring, as we have 2 kids already.. I understand but it doesn't help me really.
I know people have good intentions, and for the most part i take that into consideration.. but other times its just too much.
Thanks again bobbie. Do you have any children? have you been ttc yet?

hun i really dont think the ladies are telling you to get over it so many women here have lost little angels
I lost my little angel at 9 weeks and I know what you mean by wanting to have another baby to stop the hurt and the pain but i got pregnant straight away and it was so hard and painful much worse that i thought. Please give your self time to grieve the loss of your baby and remember you have all of us at BB to lean on x
Lauren

:angel: tiger @ 9 weeks+ 4

We already have 3 kiddies and we have been TTC ever since our angel was born ( almost 6 months).
no need to thank me for the reply either! that is what we are all here for, to help others through situations we have already been in and to learn more from the ones who came before us. I honestly dont know how i would have got through the last 5 months with out the support from ladies here!

Sorry if it seemed I was talking about anyone on here, I wasn't at all. My comment about getting over it was more a feeling that comes with time after m/c. people no longer ask how you are or mention 'it' etc as if i have just forgotten loosing my baby & it no longe affects me.. do u know what I mean?
Bobbie- all the best with TTC xoxo
To you all, it means alot to have you listen & share your experiences. many of you have been through far worse than me & I admire your strength & courage. x

oh im so sorry babe i misintrpeted it sorry :redface:
I hope you have some support within your family, i totally get what you mean sometimes i just wanted people to acknowledge my loss without people saying just have another or it was so early
Im here if you need a chat
x Lo

Hug to you hun. I am sorry for your loss, but glad you have found the BB community. There is alot of support and information here.

I agree with Bobbies post- perhaps sitting down with your DH and discussing it further may help.

I totally understand about bumping into pg people everywhere & people having babies left, right & centre - it is so in your face when you have had a loss.

Have you thought about counselling? It took me nearly 16 months after my last loss to speak to someone about how I was still feeling & it really has helped alot.

hey yeah I have had conselling.. I felt a bit talked out about it in the end.. but i still have my days.. like this one lol

Hey Hun,
I've had 2 m/c and all I can say is it's one of the hardest things I think you can go through!
Ppl who haven't experienced it don't fully understand the emotional and physical pain that you go through.
It took me months to start feeling better again, I would cry at the drop of a hat and I had horrible thoughts etc.
I think hormones play a big part in how you feel too, you're body goes through a rollercoaster ride.
All I can say is it's very cruel that we go through these things, not being in control of your own body is really tough.
I still now see babies and hear of friends falling preg and wonder why i can't be one of those naively happy women oblivious to the experience of m/c
It will get easier Hun, hang in there, if you need to talk about it then do, don't feel pressured to just get over it, it's not that easy.
As for your man, is it possible he is still hurting from what happened, he sees the effect it's had on you and is possibly scared to try again?
Thinking of you and hoping things get easier for you xox

Thanks hun.. We have talked and talked about it, and in the end he says he is just not ready. because its "so hard" (having kids) I decided to let him have his time not pressure him, but it is hard!
I'm sorry you are yet to experience motherhood, I know I am lucky in that regard, although it still hurts so bad. Sorry for your loss x