feels like the writing is on the wall again

DS and I drove 6.5 hours last night to come and spend a few weeks with family over the Easter break. Anyway, the subject of how DH and I are going came up and I broke down and was emotional for the rest of the night discussing things.

After much discussion on DH and I's 'issues' my Uncle challenged me on what it is that made me go back to DH 6 months ago. I could not think of a single thing other than I love him and he is DS Dad.

After talking about the reasons for our current separation it occured to me that I seem to be quite happy t leave DH for the smallest reasons, like I am searching for reasons to leave him.

Also, my Uncle (who is DH best friend) qwas under the impression that I begged DH to get back together with me after I slept with Sunday Night guy. WTF?? I was deliriously happy being single at that stage, I had finaly worked through my guilt of splitting DS family up and hurting DH, I had come to terms with the fact that DH didnt love me anymore, only for DH to break down and beg me to give him another chance! Seems DH didnt give my Uncle the full story..strange.

Just wish I could wake up from this nightmare :(

Cant DH and I just leave that we will live separately, raise DS together and have the occasional shag? Do we really have to completely hate each other again?

:hug: Widdly. I'm sorry I don't have any advice and I can't begin to imagine what you are going through but I wanted to offer support. Only you can really decide what you think is right for you, but we are all here to support you no matter which way you decide to go :hug:

Who are they small reasons to? DH, Uncle or you?

Do you think uncles relationship to DH coloured the conversation a little? I mean fair enough, blood is thicker than water and all that...and he is a bloke after all. I don't mean to minimise the conversation between you two at all, but uncle is only one person.

You have mentioned something about DH debts, or crapness with money before so I'm gonna take that and run like hell with it...just for examples sake ;)

To me - running up STUPID debts is an absolute KILLER reason. Uncle might not think so. Lotsa blokes thing going into debt for an SS Clubsport Ute is a totally valid thing. Those blokes should marry chicks that think its a fair thing too...

Anyhoo, to me that could be a matter of trust. Trust is huge isn't it? How can you imagine a future with a guy when it means constantly being behind financially...or who puts his own needs before the family?

So one reason to one person is nothing to another.

Keep up your conversations...with lots of trusted friends. If you don't want to go further on the boards you could come into the closed Single Parents group of the Family Crises Group.

I still can't give people valid reasons for leaving DH1. But I still did and still know it was the right thing then.

xoxoxoxo Hang in there my Widdly friendxoxoxo

:yeahthat: exactly!!!

I was hoping Lulu would have posted before I got here.

:hug: If the reasons are reasons to you then they're obviously reasons enough. Maybe you are looking for reaasons to leave, but if you're actively looking then all can't be well can it.
Trust your gut girlfriend.

aaahhhhhhhh, big sigh of relief.

Thankyou Lulu, I was hoping you would get in here and knock some sense back into me :) Yep, you are right, my Uncle is a man, therefore he can never quite understand where I, as a woman, is coming from. I tried to explain to Uncle that the money issue is a trust issue, but he didnt quite comprehend it. I was chatting to my bestie the other day about stuff and she came up with "you just really dont trust him, do you", and no, i dont, and i dont think i have any reason too either.

And you also make a good point about my small reasons. Of course they are big reasons, they are my reasons.

Kim, thanks hun, yep, I am trustingmy gut and you know what? I actually feel like a weight has lifted from my shoulders since separating again, I am nicer to Archie and friendly to people in general. For some reason I just cant be the nice person I am when I am with DH?

Love you guys xxx

Oh and I will ask permission to get into the private forums too, thanks Lulu