[Forceps Birth] The arrival of Little J
So it has only taken me 10 months to write this, nothing like a bit of insomnia to get it all down!
Sorry it's a bit long...
20/1/09
It was just a regular day, I'd finished my last uni assignment for the year a few days earlier and was now looking forward to a semester off to spend with my little man. We had made a last minute decision to include a doula in our birth plans, we'd met her once already and had another meeting planned for the following afternoon. We felt at ease knowing there would be someone there to support us. I was going to my parents for dinner as DH was working late. I spent the afternoon doing some housework as I was having friends over for coffee the next night and washing all the covers from the pram and bassinette ready to take to mum's (where DH and I were going to stay for a month after bubs was born). After dinner I got busy putting all the covers back on the pram and making up the bassinette with a sheet and blanket. My mum laughed at my 'nesting' and told me something was going to happen very soon. I headed off home to spend some time with DH and at about 10.30pm had a craving for chocolate biscuits so we headed off to coles for a sugar fix. While we were there we thought might as well stock up on munchies for the labour bag and grabbed some lollies. I remember the checkout lady saying how cute my belly was and asking when I was due...it felt surreal to say 'in 4 days'. I was happy I got my biccies and was ready for bed, I then realised the dishes hadn't been done and suddenly got really antsy. DH kept assuring me he'd do them in the morning but I wanted him to do them right then, or I'd do them. It was such an odd compulsion, I'm surprised I didn't realise I was nesting so intensely. DH had to basically drag me to bed, promising all the way he'd do them in the morning.
21/05/09
At 4am I'd settled back into bed after peeing for the 3rd time, I was just drifting off when I felt a strange twinge in my back, it got a little more painful then disappeared. I'd been getting some strange pains over the past few days but this one felt different...I decided I wait for another and if it came then I'd know it was a contraction. 15mins later it came, this time a little more painful. I woke DH up...me: I think I just had a contraction, DH: oh really? I had half expected him to jump out of bed and freak but he just smiled, gave me a cuddle and said let's time to see when the next one comes. 10mins later it came and we decided we couldn't sleep anymore and got out of bed. I paced the house while DH packed a few things we had forgotten for the hospital. I felt so wired, like I'd drunk too much coffee but strangely calm at the same time. I went to the toilet and felt a little trickle, I wasn't sure if this was my waters breaking so DH called the birth suite. It was now about 5.30am, we lived about 25mins from the hospital and were very conscious about getting stuck in peak hour traffic on the freeway so decided to get in and get checked out. We thought it was pretty likely they'd send me home again so decided it'd be best to go back to my parents if that was the case as they lived much closer. We then called our doula and she offered to come in too, we'd organised to meet her out the front. After DH got off the phone to our doula I felt a gush, like I'd just wet myself. I now knew my waters had broken for sure. It was on!
I thought it was pretty likely they'd do an exam when I got to the hosp so I jumped in the shower quickly and got into some comfy leggings and top. By now the contractions were coming on pretty hard and very erratically, never more than 10mins apart. We set of for the hosp at around 6am thinking we would dodge the morning rush. Boy were we wrong! Sitting in the car having contractions was agony, I had to squirm and raise myself up to get comfortable to stop myself from making noise (I was too self conscious to moan and groan :)) This was the only time during the whole birthing experience that I sensed DH panic. He was madly patting and rubbing my leg each time I had a contraction. It was so annoying, I just wanted to yell at him STOP THAT but I knew he worried about being stuck in traffic and was only trying to help so I just took a deep breath and politely asked him to stop.
We finally arrived at the hosp around 7, our doula had beaten us there. We headed up to the birth suite where I had on particularly painful contraction holding onto a chair in the foyer. An older midwife brought us into a room and briskly asked me if I'd be requiring any pain relief. I handed her a copy of my birth plan and explained it was all in there. 'Oh you can just tell me now,' she said. I had the urge to yell at her that it was all in my plan and couldn't she leave me alone as I was having a contraction but again just calmly said no thanks, if I want it that badly I'll ask when the time arises. While all this was happening my doula had started getting the room ready, dimming the lights, closing the curtains etc The midwife then proceeded to turn the lights on again and open up the curtains. I remember really hoping that she wasn't going to be taking care of me the whole time as she was already getting on my nerves! She told me to get comfortable and somebody would come and check on me soon and left the room and thankfully never came back!
My doula had now made the room as comfy as one can in a hospital with scented oils in little cups of hot water around the darkened room and a little 'nest' on the floor with a mat covered in my own blanket, pillow and birth ball. '25 ways to awaken your birth power' was playing on the stereo. I started out breathing through each contraction by holding onto the foot of the bed while DH pressed as hard as he could on my lower back. I always thought contractions would feel like an intense tightening in my stomach but instead it was like the worst back and period pains I had ever experienced. By now I was getting vocal, it was like a switch had been flicked in my head once we got to the hospital. Time to get down to business, I knew I wouldn't be going home anytime soon.
Around 8 a new midwife came in, she introduced herself as Donna. She was young and had a glorious Scottish accent, she was lovely. I did a pee test and there was blood, I got a bit worried but she just said 'oh don't worry it's just your show.' After that I got comfy on the floor labouring on all fours with DH sitting next to me. Our doula was busy warming heat packs for DH to slap on my back for each contraction and giving me sips of water. Donna happily sat on the floor with us too, doing her paperwork and offering words of encouragement. About 8.45 Donna did an exam...I was 9cms, I wasn't expecting to be so far along, it was good to know I was close. My contractions had been painful and close together right from the start and I was beginning to get tired.
The pain was becoming too much by now and I asked for the gas, it was heaven! At one point both Donna and our doula were out of the room and I offered DH a little suck on the gas and we had a giggle together like naughty school children :dance:
It really helped with my breathing and the pain, the room was silent now except for me saying 'gas' or 'water'. Every now and again DH would be too slow it and it would be more like 'gas..gas....GAS'
DH put my Ipod on around this time, he chose the band My Morning Jacket, very chilled out, problem was there was only about 4 songs in the playlist so even in my gas induced haze I realised we were hearing the same song every 15mins :) I changed positions and was kneeling over the birth ball, I was now feeling the urge to push. I pushed and pushed but didn't feel like I was getting anywhere, DH was great with the encouragement. It really blew my mind how calm and collected he was. The pressure and pain was incredible. At some point Donna told me that the baby was posterior and suggested I lay down on my side with one leg up in the air. I remember our doula telling me that both her babies were posterior too and they came out just fine so don't get disheartened. Lying on my side, pushing felt so awkward and unnatural but by then I was so tired and foggy from the gas I didn't have the energy to talk. Donna was now using the Doppler after every contraction, I still wasn't getting anywhere with the pushing. After a while about 10.20 perhaps..Donna informed us that our baby's heart rate wasn't coming up after each contraction as much as she'd like and asked that I hop up onto the bed to get strapped to a monitor. To this day I still don't know if this was completely necessary but I do know that it is what caused the cascade of intervention in DS's birth.
From here my memory is a little hazy...from what I remember Donna brought in another midwife to help her monitor, the vibe in the room became very serious, the lights came on and the music went off. DS's heart rate wasn't improving and there was talk around 10.30 of getting a OB in to perform a vacuum extraction. Lying on that bed having contractions was pure agony. The second midwife left the room and reappeared with 3 doctors in tow, 2 OBs and a resident. Everything happened so fast, one of the OBs did another exam (agony again) and told me she could feel the head so could I try and push for her. Pretty hard when I'm lying on my back in bed with her hand up my you know what! I tried and nope...I was so out of it from the pain I barely knew what I was doing. She then told me they were going to give me a pudendal block for an assisted delivery. I vaguely remember thinking a peth shot would go down pretty well around now but it was too late! Wowee those needles hurt!! They drained my bladder with a catheter (ouch) and then told me I'd need an episiotomy. My doula pointed out that I would prefer to tear as per my birth plan, the doctors ummed and ahhed about this for what seemed like forever! It annoyed me so much I momentarily snapped out of my daze to yell 'just cut me if I'm going to tear badly!' So they did and then pulled out a giant pair of forceps (what happened to the vacuum!?) I don't think I will ever experience excruciating pain like that again...I am usually a very calm person, rarely raise my voice but I sure did scream the house down then, poor DH was so traumatised by my screams the doula was rubbing his back :o
But it was done our little boy was out! I'm sad that I was so ruffled by the whole forceps ordeal that I don't even remember them putting him on me or if he even cried...DH cut the cord, they gave DS a quick wipe clean then gave him back to me for cuddles. Unfortunately due to the forceps I couldn't have a natural fourth stage and leave the cord to finish pulsating like I had wanted, but I didn't care I had a beautiful little baby. He was a hairy little thing with big, wide dark blue eyes.... absolutely perfect.
During whole time in the birth suite I had been wearing a singlet and a bra, I still remember Donna and our doula wrestling with my bra trying to get if off so DS could feed. I was too tired to sit up! 'It's like a fortress down here,' Donna said. LOL! They eventually managed to at least pull it up a bit and DS latched on like a champ, we was bright eyed, so alert. The other OB hadn't said much until now, she then proceeded to explain everything and how it had been necessary to cut me but it was only a tiny one (it wasn't) and hospital protocol blah blah blah it was like she was trying to cover their butts. I felt like telling her to go away and leave us in peace but just ignored her instead. It took them about an hour to stitch me up...the whole time I couldn't keep my eyes of this amazing little bundle. DH and I were in awe, we made him, sometimes it's still hard to believe!
Thanks for reading :D
Little J
born 21/5/09 at 10.42am
6lbs 13oz, 47cms HC- 35cms
Apgar- 9 and 9
Labour- 6.5 hours from start to finish
