Newly seperated and needing to vent

Hi to all,

I just seperated from my self confessed compulsive liar partner (seeing a therapist with no real change for past year). We have 2 beautiful boys together aged 2 and 3 who have just spent all day watching recordings of playschool cause I just can't cope with anything else right now. Right now I'm just repeating to myself he hasn't changed, he will never change and I don't want to go back to him because he is not the man I want him to be but the man he is.

Hoping I can get through the next week so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I'm struggling with everything. Luckily I am on annual leave for the next 2 weeks but I don't know how I will cope after that. How do you get day care when you work shift work? (Hubby has been stay at home parent) I work 2 ten hour days followed by 2 14 hour nights and I have to sleep sometime!!! I'm sure it will all work out somehow, just hard to see how atm.

Now he tells me he wants me to sell the house (purchased in my name 3 years ago because he had bad credit and I was still paying off his debts from before we met) so he can have half the equity in it. He seems to think I get to 'keep' the house while he gets nothing. We have only paid off a nominal amount, I might get to 'keep' the house but I also get to 'keep' the mortgage. He can't seem to see that any profit made from selling will only cover paying off the mortgage and the real estate agents for selling, it would hardly even put anything towards setting up somewhere new. Ah well, I suppose I should just give it all time to settle, it is all very fresh and new.

I feel much better for venting.... I could go on for pages....


Blu

Ahhh BluJella - :hug: and I'm sorry you're in this predicament.

I do think that you finding legal representation ASAP is a priority here, as the advice will be for your circumstances. Earlier started, sooner planned. IMO.

Leaving any relationship is difficult, but to actually make that decision takes a lot of strength, so well done on that respect. I hope you're looking at your own mental health issues as well, and giving yourself a little time to relax and pamper.

Good luck.

Such a difficult situation. I'm not much help for you I'm sorry but sending you heaps of :hug: and I hope it works out for you. I completely agree with Kaz - get yourself legal advice straight away because you just know the next thing he is going to go for is custody of the kids.

Oh honey that's awful.

I think you need some good legal advice. Where in Melbourne are you?

Hi guys,

Thanks heaps for all the hugs. Any recommendations for legal advice? I'm in Airport West.

Blu

Darl, in the past we've got in-home care for our DD - you qualify if you're a shiftworker. It's expensive (don't quote me but about $26 per hour for two kids so $13 per hour each) but you get 50% of that back with the rebate. I get it through my local childcare centre but I've been told they service the whole of Melbourne - call them on 9489 3405.

You let them know what hours you want on a Friday for the following week. You don't have to have the same hours each week, it's totally flexible but there's a 4-hour minimum for each booking. If you don't need anything some weeks, that's fine.

I'm 99% sure they can provide around-the-clock care so night shifts wouldn't be a problem - I know a few of their clients are nurses.

huge hugs hunxxx

You have done a wonderful thing to make that decision that he is not 'working' for you in your life and has made no change. I am sorry you are having to go through all of this, its not nice, but it does get better like everyone will tell you, just takes some time and loving support from family and friends and here on BB.

Hope he can come to the realisation that leaving you with the ouse is best for the boys and he wont get any financial gain anyway.

sending you love x