D/C on tuesday :(

Hi

I'm only 16 and found out in februaruy i was pregnant was difficult but in the end my family and boyfriend were supportive, I was going for my 12 week scan on monday 29th march, and found out at the scan i had suffered a missed miscarrige. I was 12 weeks and 4 days at this point and was so happy as I had thought after the 12 week mark it would all be ok :(

I really dont want to go back to work just now because just out of chance another girl at work is also pregnant and her baby is due the same day as mine was, and whenever i think of that i get so upset :(, I'm off work next week for my d/c on tuesday.

Everyone is telling me to get back to work the following week but i feel its to soon and i work in the baby room in a nursery, am i being unreasonable to want maybe another week off?

How will i feel physcially after my d/c?

I just cant seem to stop crying as i had just got used to the idea of being pregnant :(

Any advice on how to cope? would be appriciated

thanks in advance

rebecca

xxxx

Hugs hun, this is a very difficult thing to deal with.
You will feel cramping and period pain afterwards from what I have heard. (I have had m/c but never a D&C)
I would give yourself some time to grieve and not rush straight back to work, maybe take a week off ?

Oh it's awful when you just come to terms with everything and then its gone :hug:

It might be better to listen to yourself and stay away a little longer - I found the people most vocal about what was best for me where the ones that had no idea how it felt.

Head over to the Miscarriage and Loss forums, you will find plenty of support and advice from those who have sadly experienced the same.

GL, I'm sorry you lost your little baby, xoxoxo

Bekah - of sweetie. I am thinking of you today and hoping you are getting through the best you can.

I am so sorry for the loss of your little bubs. I am glad that your mum and boyf were supportive of your pg. I hope they are still supportive because you will need them now more than ever.

People will have all sorts of advice for you. I know its hard, but listen to you and how you are feeling to help you decide what's best for you. People can also be insensitive and hurt your feeelings when they try to "cheer you up", and sometimes those people will be the people you love and need the most.

Some women find they like to throw themselves back into things to try and escape the pain. It doesn't work, because you can't escape a broken heart. Other women find they need time to heal physically and emotionally and to allow themselves time to really grieve. In my own experience I would recommend you take the time to sit with and experience your grief and gie yourself to just cry and be angry and so slowly adjust to your new reality.

This is a time you need to put yourself first. Crying all the time is ok, honestly it is, as long as you're just crying and not having scary thoughts. You need to cry - the loss of your bubs is a heartbreaking tragedy. You are a mother and you need to grieve. The path your grief journey takes, will be challening and at times unpredictable and for each woman it is different, but there are some similarities.

Physically after a D&C? Some bleeding maybe up to a week? Some cramping. You might feel yuckky for a few days after the anaesthetic - I say it takes at least a week to start to feel physically better and rid of the anaesthetic. Your appetite might not be the same, you might be light headed, you might feel sick and be sick, you might get constipated( which also causes blating and more wind), your sleeping patterns might be disrupted. But as rough as it feels, these things usually pass quite quickly. Rest up as much as you can and drink a lot of fluids to help keep you hydrated and flush out the anaesthetic.

I had an interesting reaction recently to anaesthetic - the day after the skin on my upper torso just flushed red and stayed that way for about 12 hours. I was initially worried but there were no other symptoms - temperature, nausea, vomitting.

But if you are worried about any symptoms - call the hospital or your doctor ok? A phone call can save a lot of worry.

Emotionally? It's going to be tough. A lot of women describe how they feel empty. You're going to feel empty and sad anyway, so I am not sure how much of those feeling will relate to the procedure or to your heartbreaking miscarriage.

I want to let you know, you are not alone. If you ever need to just log on to BB and let it all out. The women here are good decent women who understand and know your heartache.

Go gently sweet one. I will light a candle for you tonight and your little one. Your little one is never far away and is always in your heart. Take care.

:hug: I am so sorry you have to go through all this. All the ladies on this site are wonderful and so supportive.

Fly free little one with all of your angel baby friends xxx

Take care

Thanks for the advice and support :)

D/C went ok, not much pain atol, and very little bleeding. everything went ok i was told so hopefully will have no trouble concieving in the future.

As for work still not sure about next week but i'll just take it a day at a time and see how i feel.

thanks again :) x

bekah - how are you doing? Hope you have been going ok at work. Thinking of you.

:)Hi

I'm doig ok, got over the D&C just about, the bleeding slowing right down thankfully.

Emotionally im getting there what im finding the hardest is people forgetting, anyone else felt the same?

I've ordered a memorial necklace from my forever child, and have went about naming my angel - MAX - i didnt know if it was a boy or girl, but always thought it was a boy so thats what ive called him :)

I have good and bay days but i suppose time is the best healer.

x

Bekah - the memory of your forever baby lives on strongest in you. I hurts that other people don't remember just how significiant this is for you, but that's been my experience too.

I think Max is a beautiful name. Powerful yet adorable.

Its a journey of ups and downs. Eventually there gets to be less downs.

:hug: to you. I'm glad it all went well.

I had to go back to work in childcare last year after our m/c at 12 weeks. I took 5 days off - that was just what I decided I would do. I set a particular day, Tuesday, as a goal, and I found it helped me a lot to stick to that. In the end, I actually could have gone back on the Monday, but it was nice to have the day off anyway.

When I did go back, I took it really slowly. Maybe you can officially go back one day, but go in to work the day before that, so that you're not included in the ratios and you can leave at any time. This will give you the chance to talk to all your colleagues, and sort of ease yourself in.

For me, the babies were the BEST thing ever. Partly because you have a new appreciation of just what a miracle they are, but also because they don't talk, don't use stupid cliches or say the wrong thing, and, if you're great at your job (and I bet you are) then they will respond to you with affection, no matter what.

In my hardest times last year, I always used to go and hide out in the nursery. It's actually more therapeutic than you might think.

Let us know how you go. :hug::hug: