The Jellyman Cometh! The birth of Adrian Martin Spencer (long)
The Jellyman Cometh!: The birth of Adrian Martin Spencer
Let me just say at the outset that I have the worst intuition when it comes to myself. I first said that our IVF wouldn’t work and then we got pregnant with our very first embryo. Then I said it would be a girl and at 20 weeks hubby punched the air triumphantly when we were told we were having a little boy. Then I was sooo sure that I would go overdue and have to be induced and probably end up having a caesarean that when I started having contractions at 38 weeks it took me a while to believe that I was actually in labour! Having said that, I am very glad that all my predictions were to come to naught and this was how it went.
Woke up at about 4ish on the 16th of March 2010 with some mild period type pain and couldn’t get back to sleep. When they kept coming I thought it might be a good idea to start timing them so went and got my mobile and started to time them. I had another 4 or 5 exactly 10 mins apart and thought that I could possibly be in labour but didn’t want to get my hopes up as I had had absolutely no prelabour signs for weeks and thought this could be a false alarm. Took some panadol and went back to bed but the contractions wouldn’t let me get back to sleep. DH’s alarm went off at 6:00 and when he looked at me I asked if his meeting he had today was really important. “Why?” he asked suspiciously, “Because I’ve been having contractions every ten minutes for the last two hours” I replied. The look on his face was priceless, a mix of excitement, joy and terror all together.
So we got up and pottered around the house for a bit, had some brekkie, DH called work and said he wasn’t coming in, both of us thinking this could just be a false alarm. Thought about calling the hospital but I had an appointment with my OB at 11 anyway so we just waited and watched as the contractions started to get closer together and more ouchy. Went to OB’s and midwife walked out and saw me having a contraction in the waiting room and said “that looks like a contraction, let’s hook you up to the CTG and have a looksie” so got hooked up and was told that yes, I was definitely in labour! WOOHOO!! I was also told that my contractions were more than moderate so I felt good that I was coping so well with the pain. It is a very strange feeling because I felt completely normal in between contractions, I thought there would be some kind of residual pain but felt fine, it was very surreal.
My OB then did an internal (and I think a bit of a stretch and sweep too because it hurt like a *****!) and said I was about 3.5cm already! He said we could go to the birthing suite now and have my membranes ruptured to kick things along, or go home and labour for a bit longer and see what happens if I was ok with the pain, either way our baby would be here in 6-8 hours! We weren’t sure so walked down to maternity and asked the MW’s who told us to go home because all the suites were full. Fine with us! We went home via woollies to buy some lunch and got alarmed looks from people as I had a contraction in the dairy section! LOL Got home, made lunch and did the ring-a-round to let people know today was the day and I just kept breathing and moaning through contractions. Had a shower and a lay down and by 4:00pm decided it was time to go back to the hospital as it was getting very ouchy, contractions were about 4 mins apart and if I didn’t leave now I probably wouldn’t want to.
We got to the hospital (after having several contractions in the carpark!) and went to our rooms where midwife did an internal and said I was 6-7cm!!!! She then ruptured my membranes (ouch and gross!) then the party really got started. Hopped in the shower on the fitball with a jet on my back and DH holding a shower head on my belly, it helped a lot but the water wasn’t hot enough! Began to feel nauseous and there is no worse feeling than having a contraction and throwing up at the same time! Yuk and ouch. It was around this time, I think I was in transition, that I wanted to give up. The pain was quite bad but it was mainly that I was just soooo tired; all I wanted to do was go home and crawl into my bed. I think at this time I also fleetingly considered an epidural but the thought of sitting still during a contraction while a doctor stuck a huge needle in my back was even worse than the contractions, so I didn’t ask. The thing that got me through all the pain was my hubbie being there with me and holding my hand, I wouldn’t have been able to do it without him.
We were in the shower for about 2 hours I think and most of the time it was just me and DH with the midwife only popping her head in occasionally. I was really pleased that we were left to do our own thing and the midwife never pushed anything onto us. She came back in later and asked if I was feeling the need to push and I admitted that I had given a few sneaking pushes in the shower as I couldn’t help it. She told me to get out and get on the bed and did an internal and said that I was not quite there yet and I was not allowed to push. I was finding that really hard though as my body was urging me to push even though I was trying not to. The midwife suggested I use the gas, not so much as pain relief but because the sucking action would distract me and stop me from pushing. I agreed and started breathing on the gas during contractions. At first I didn’t think it was doing anything but it did stop me from pushing as much. Just as I was starting to like the gas the midwife took it away and said it was time to start pushing!
My first few pushes were very noisy and I grunted a lot and the midwife yelled at me to be quite and put all my energy into pushing and not screaming. I wanted to tell her to ****off but I couldn’t make words so I just did as she asked so she would be quite. I also got annoyed because she would make me change position after every 4 pushes or so, and moving around was so tiring and difficult. Having said all this though I now understand that everything the midwife made me do was help the baby move down and make my pushing more efficient and I was very grateful to her afterwards.
I eventually ended up lying on my left side with my right knee raised in the air (kinda like a dog peeing) very undignified but then again labour never is! DH had always said that he would stay up near my head and didn’t want to look at the business end but as soon as the head started to crown he couldn’t look away. I’m glad though as the excitement in his voice gave me strength and let me know that it was almost over.
I felt the head crowning and felt the ‘ring of fire’ burning sensation that other women had mentioned, though it only lasted a few moments as I delivered the head a few seconds later. The midwife told me to stop pushing but my body wasn’t listening and involuntarily I birthed his shoulders immediately after. He didn’t have time to turn so his shoulders came out sideways and I got a third degree tear! Though everything else hurt so much that I didn’t even feel the tearing. Suddenly the midwife said “Ok dad grab here” and pointed to the baby, hubbie was stunned but then grabbed our son under the arms, pulled him free and placed him on my chest. It was such a beautiful, amazing moment for us both.
I was a little stunned to suddenly have a baby on my chest and could only stare at him in bewilderment. I was also just relieved for the pain to be over that I didn’t really react for a while, I was just a little concerned that he hadn’t started to cry. He was breathing fine and making little grunting noises but not the lusty cry you expect from a newborn. Hubbie got to cut the cord and then shortly after had a little bit of a cry as he was just so proud and amazed and relieved and I loved him more at that moment than I ever have. I expected that I would be in tears too, but I was still so stunned and relieved that it was over that all I could do was comfort my husband and hold my son.
Our OB arrived in time to tell me how bad I tore and stitch me up. I was annoyed as I thought that after the baby was out the pain would stop, but 6 local injections and a whole lot of stitches later they finally left us alone to welcome our son into our family. I gave Adrian his first feed which he took to quite well and we just stared at him for ages. I expected to fall in love with him right away but it was a little strange as I was mostly relieved he was healthy but otherwise didn’t know how I felt. DH was in love right away and eventually got his first cuddles as I had a shower. It felt good to get clean but I was having some trouble breathing and they were worried I might have a Tension Pneumothorax, they put me on monitors but my breathing eventually got better. I think it was just because my diaphragm was no longer working 100% and I was exhausted.
Adrian was then weighed and measured (8lb 11 and 53cm long) and wrapped up nice and tight and went straight to sleep. Unfortunately, sleep evaded me most of the night and DH had to go home as there were no double rooms available, we got to sleep together the next night though.
All in all I have to say that my birth experience went almost exactly how I wanted it to and I feel so proud of myself that I had almost no pain relief and that I actually did it! I know that women do it every day and that it is nothing out of the ordinary but doing it yourself makes you feel like Superwoman! I also now know just how much I love and need my husband and how much I love my son.
Thanks for reading my long story and I hope you all have births as special as mine was.
