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Hi all,
My DD is now 2 and I am wanting to implement a "stand and think" type of consequence similar to the style described by Steve Biddulph in his books. Basically standing aside away from play for a short time followed by an apology/debrief. Any thoughts or experiences for this age group would be much appreciated :)
what do you do?
Has it worked for you and your child?
In what circumstances do you use it?
This sounds exaclty like what we do and have done with our daughter since she was about 18months old. Some weeks she never has to stand and others a couple of times each day! This is what we do:
She has a warning and then we count to 3, If we reach 3 and she is still doing the things we told her not to then she stand against the wall (there is ALWAYS a wall somewhere!). She usually stands for about 10-20 seconds then we call her over - she says sorry straight away (she does now anyway) and we have a cuddle. We then remind her about what was wrong with her behaviour.
We like this approach because:
1. Tt stops her from doing the wrong things at least for a little while
2. There is no smacking, yelling or tantrums involed (she occsionally cries at the wall but that's it)
3. She knows that once this has happened it's a new start/clean slate cause she gets cuddles
4. She is only removed a few metres away from activity so we're always there and she can still hear what's going on (so she might be sad cause she's missing out)
Sometimes she doesn't get any warnings if she does something like hitting or breaking something on purpose.
If she moves from the wall or laughs we put her straight back.
Good luck!! We love this way and it works for us and plan to use it for many years to come (just increase time at wall).
We use a similar technique on both our boys, but we make them sit in a corner (they can see us). It works great because their behaviour always changes for the better after a short "time out" and a debrief/cuddle.
We've used this technique since DS1 was around 18 months old, he's now 5 and it still works great :D
our 20 month old has started this i said go sit on your bean bag then go talk to him and i say say sorry he just looks at me and then cuddle time. i did it about 2 weeks back to see what he would do he did it so we went with that :)
we do this with DD1, she is 2.5 now. We ask her to stop if she doesn't we count to three and then she goes onto her chair. She will tell us when she is ready to hop off, then she gives us/her sister kiss if she has hurt someone and then talk about what she did wrong. Its very effective, if we are out she we can count to three and she stops what she is doing.
I actually tried this yesterday for the first time and it seemed to work. DD is 21months, and has taken to kicking with her legs when she is laying down, eg for nappy changes, and just telling her "no, thats not nice, that hurts mummy" wasn't working so yesterday, she was doing it while I was feeding DS - luckily didn't kick him, but kept kicking me, and laughing when I told her no so I gave her a warning that she will go in time out, and when she kicked me again, got up (DS was upset about having his feed interuppted lol!) and stood her by a wall, just outside of the living room. I had to stand with her, but after I reckon 20seconds, I repeated why she shouldn't kick, and then let her back into the lounge, where I got something to distract her with, and we didn't have any kicking for the rest of the day. She did cry briefly when I took her to the wall, but a cuddle after the explanation worked well.