Bonding with the bump the second time around.

Iv spent some time thinking the last few days about being preg the second time round and how disconnected i feel from my bump. I find it hard to explain it but this time although i know i am pregnant i dont feel pregnant. Its hard to explain. Alot of it has to do with running around after a toddler all day and being too exhausted to think at the end of the day and although i am bigger this time around and have a definate bump already im not having any movements yet so it doesn't feel as real as it will when those movements start.

Did anyone feel the same with multiple pregnancies? How/when did you get past it? I really want to enjoy this pregnancy as it may be my last but at the moment all i feel is fear!

I didn't feel like this with #2 as I was feeling movements from very early on, showed early etc. But with this pregnancy, I've felt that way. I only started to feel movements 2 weeks ago, and I'm lucky to feel a kick every 4 or 5 days, so really not much movement at all. Plus with having 2 little ones to run around after, I'm always forgetting that I'm pregnant. Only remembering when I'm completely exhausted and overdone it :wall:
So how did I get past it?? Well I haven't really. Still feeling like that. I'm sure once I'm 30+ weeks and feeling HUGE it'll get better.

I've got pelvic instability which basically means I've had to give up work and have been housebound for the last 11 weeks and will be for the remainder of the pregnancy. In addition to that we are preparing to sell our house and move to the house we've just bought.

So, as I say to people, it really doesn't feel like I'm pregnant - it feels like I'm managing a chronic health condition and have a few other things on.

Being housebound sends me completely potty so I just have to manage day-to-day. It's a full-time job trying to entertain DD and trying to remember what things cause tantrums (forgetting that she has to put the sugar in my tea, forgetting that she has to close the soap dispenser lid on the dishwasher, she has to turn the oven timer off etc. etc.)

BUT, when I do remember that I'm pregnant :redface:, it's probably more quality bonding than it was first time around. I know this one is a girl whereas I didn't with DD and we've 99% picked out a name. So she is already my daughter Gabriella. In addition, I'm more confident that I'll be a good mum whereas first time around I was pretty anxious.

So, I guess for me it's quality rather than quantity ATM.

Thanks for your replies ladies.

Its such a weird feeling as with ds i was so into the whole preg thing and would have loved a massive bump like i have this time so that everyone knew i was preg. Hoping i can get past this when i find out the gender and start to feel bubs. I felt movement with ds when i was 17 weeks and i am now 15 weeks and only very occasionally feel something that i think is a movement.

for me it only really became more 'real' once i got the movement. but even still, i have moments where i realise that i am in no way as engaged mentally as i was last time (read: obsessed lol). for example, i am not reading every bit of the books i have or subscribing to email updates like i did last time. i guess it is because of a less time factor, but also because it was a road once travelled and i guess this is a new road itms.

some of the things that i have been doing to try and keep connected (this feeds into some of my preparations post-birth because i suffered PND last time) is to take a few minutes in the evening/morning when i am in bed to lie on my back and put my hands on my belly bump and just chill and feel the warmth from my hands go through...and occasionally i feel her react to it, but it's also ok if she doesnt, this is time for me to connect.

Also, i have started putting together her memory book. so went out to spotlight the other day and bought some cool stickers and lace etc and have put together the HPT and the scan pics for the first page...

after a shower i use the time to rub the bio-oil in as some 'bonding' time and a chance for me to examine and marvel at the growing bump.

these are just a few ideas that dont take too much time (ok, so the memory book does take time, but i do this after DD is in bed LOL!)