It seems I've created a fussy eater....what now?

They say fussy eaters are created, not born. Well, it seems like I've created one!

DS (22 months) eats fine during the day- he's great with snacks (yoghurt, fruit, crackers etc), and usually fine with lunch food (toasted ham & cheese, quiche etc). But when it comes to dinner, the battle is on.

I always try to give DS some of what we are eating. I try to cook things that a toddler would like- tonight, for example, I made chicken & pea pasties with this yummy creamy filling (they were really yum). But with a very few exceptions (meatballs, quiche), he won't eat what I make for dinner. He often will not even try it or when he does, he just spits it out. Then he likes to tip his bowl on the floor if we don't grab it in time.

In the past, I have always been concerned about him not eating anything, but I didn't want to make him anything special (the whole "not a restaurant" thing), so I would just give him a banana. Problem in, he LOVES banana, so there was hardly any incentive for him to eat his dinner.

Tonight I cracked it and just told him nicely, but firmly, if he wouldn't eat his dinner, he wasn't getting dinner. He chose not to eat and was then indicating he was hungry, so I just kept showing him his bowl of food and telling him it was there if he wanted to eat. After about 30 minutes, he did hop up and try one pea. One. Then he proceeded to throw the others on the floor. And then the rest of his bowl on the floor. We told him off, and then said "no more food". I gave him a bigger bottle before bed than usual, but he didn't get dinner.

Was this the right thing to do? I find it all pretty confusing- I mean, how do I know if he just doesn't like the food I make- is it then just cruel not to give him something else?

Help! I know we need to do something about this now before he gets older and it gets even harder, but I am just not sure what to do. I am ok doing the "no dinner" thing for a few nights, but if it continues I will be concerned. (although DS does have some extra 'baby fat' he can live off!!)

I hear you DS! is the same.

Eats well most of day (will only have puree fruit will not otherwise eat fruit), come dinner time unless I am spoon feeding him he eats very little even if its fingers foods he normally loves. He will eat vegies in a casserole or curry but wont eat them just steamed apart from peas and corn which he will sometimes eat with fingers. He starts chucking stuff on floor or tips plate if we dint grab it quick enough.

This too shall pass. :)
Most kids go through this stage so as long as he is getting a good lunch just give him a sandwich for tea. He will soon be eating and you will never have enough food in the house.
If he asks for veggies off your plate give him a little and keep eating. Food off your plate tastes better

Keep his fluids up during the day and try smoothies to bulk up his food intake. :)

It is so horrible isn't it!! My kids are similar. My dd is a better eater at dinner time than ds, but often I will make a meal and neither of them will eat much, if any of it. I had been giving them fruit or a carrot after if they didn't eat, but have stopped that too now.

DS is still bf and has booby before bed, so I don't worry so much about him, but DD now goes to bed hungry, or with just 1/2 a cup of milk if she wants it if she absolutely refuses to eat. I leave her food out until bed time and often she will eat it just before bed time. I dont know if she's testing me to see if I will cave and give her fruit, but she will carry on until I give her her 10min warning before bed time and will then eat it. It drives me batty.

But many people have said that children won't starve themselves. And I guess they're right. Maybe he's just not that hungry? We stop snacks nad milk drinks at 3.30pm here. We eat dinner at 5.30ish, so 2hrs without food isn't going to kill them!!

HTH!

My DS1 is about the same age as your son, and were having similar issues here too. Must be a phase some go through...i hope! Daytime he is fine, eats most things i give him, particularly his fruit- loves his fruit, but night is a bit hit and miss. Most nights he won't. I make foods that he can easily eat and not too long ago actually ate without problems, lots of mince type foods and wraps, and even steamed vegies use to always be a hit. Though we have had some success a few nights lately where we've had meat and veg- and thats by giving him BBQ sauce, which he seems to love dipping his vegies and meat into- so i figure whatever works, he can have all the BBQ sauce he likes. But it ain't always a guarantee- like tonight. Didn't even touch his spaghetti, even with his use to be favourite piece of garlic bread or with a dash of BBQ sauce on it. 2-3months ago he would've finished this dinner whith minutes!

Sorry- I've no advise for you, just letting you know your not alone with having these issues. I'm hoping to gather ideas how to combat it too, as like you i'd be ok doing the 'no other option' thing for a few nights (as i have done), but have to cave eventually. Plus DH is a bit of a push over when it comes to dinner time and other options, so that's hard to do here. I'm hoping someone has some new ideas to try.

maybe try something different and offer veggies or meat or both on skewers etc... i know when DD1 wouldnt eat meat a kabab was devoured because it was different and fun, otherwise put toothpick into food etc..

I would try giving him "dinner" at lunch, and even boosting his breakfast - so that at dinner time he can have a banana for dinner and its ok!
At this age I think its just a stage, and that he will grow out of it.
Rivlas made a good point - food off mums plate is always better!
:hug: hang in there, youre going a good job hun!

I have jsut been reading a chapter on this in The Mighty Toddler.

It says something about trying not to always substitute with milk as thats what they want and he will just learn that if he doesnt eat dinner he will get a nice big bottle of his favourite drink. Dont know how true that is but it kind of makes sense.

It also says that toddlers will eat if they are hungry and it is common for them to have one big meal every one or two days and then basically just snacks at other times. It is a passing phase and as long as you are offering a variety of nutritional things as well then that is good.

HTH. Just what I was reading at that very moment. Havent got to that stage myself yet though :hug:

We have a similar issue here too and I've resorted to having fruit on his plate as well as his veg and meat or whatever we are having that night. That way DS gets his fruit and he'll eat some of the other food too instead of waiting for me to cave in and just give him some fruit if he hasn't eaten anything else.
A health nurse told me once to put 2 or 3 peas/corn vegies on his plate and very small amounts of whatever else we were eating plus a quater of a sandwich and if he ate the sandwich 1st then all he needed to have was the couple of vegies and that would be ok.She also told me that sometimes smaller amounts is more appealing to little tummies instead of larger amounts kwim?

:hug: Jess...you didn't make him fussy....he's nearly two, that's why he's fussy.
SOme of what works for us....not everything all the time, but different stuff most of the time;

I agree with SS in that a bigger brekkie and lunch often work here as by dinner they are tired and eating is hard work. My DD occasionally goes to bed hungry. I give her the option of eating or going to bed, and sometimes she'll just ask to go to bed.
Give smaller meals, much smaller. Sounds dumb but if it doesn't look like so much to conquer it's easier to start. My ILs had a heart attack when I would give DD this tincy plate of food (but then they are know as the Klumps by my DH). She'd eat that and then ask for some of mine.
Sitting them instead of in the highchair but at a small table and chairs. I know it's not eating together (but I have spent many a meal on my bottom next to the kids table so that it is), but for some kids this really helps. My DS chucks food from the highchair but not from 'his' table.
Mixing up mealtimes a bit, like Olive suggested, different food types than they are used to, or picnics....even if it's just somewhere weird like on a blanket up the hall.
Getting them involved in dinner making.

Thank you all so much.

I've been thinking about the "dinner at lunch" thing, but he's usually pretty beat at lunchtime because its right before his nap. We like to feed him before his nap because he seems to sleep better. Maybe we should try a snack before nap and then proper lunch after, and then just something easy for him at dinner.

I like the idea of giving him a little plate with some sandwich (always a favourite) and some of what we are eating. The idea is eventually he will get curious and eat the other stuff too, right....?

He refuses to sit in his high-chair any more. He has to be at the table in a grown up chair with mum & dad. He won't even consent to my propping up his cushion with phone-books!