Co-sleeping? Thoughts and opinions?

Hey guys,

I've been reading about co-sleeping. We have a basinet for our little one but she doesn't seem to like it - it's one of the coco mama ones that is quite deep. She doesn't settle well and I get the impression that she doesn't like it because she can't see us. Last night we took her into bed with us to settle her (we weren't asleep) and she fell asleep straight away and slept for 4 hours straight. Woke up for a feed and then slept another 3 hours.
We don't have a cot yet but are planning on getting one very soon which we will have right next to our bed so that we can reach her. But I just wondered if anyone has any thoughts or opinions on co-sleeping for the moment?
I have done some reading and some people swear by it, others not so much. Something that I read on the ABA website suggests that co-sleeping really enhances nighttime breast feeding and that the two can be very successful together.

I guess I just wanted to hear some stories on what others in real life have done.

Thanks so much
Sue x

I co slept with DS1 for about 6 weeks full time and after that part time.

DS2 co sleeps periods of the nights.

If done safely it can be great especially as you put boob in there mouth and go back to sleep and as they get older they find it themselves.

However I am not a massive fan as I find it uncomfortable being stuck in same spot all night so I wake up stiff and sore, and also dont sleep that well as always waking to check that DH hasnt pulled doona up over DS2 or that he hasnt rolled to close to him.

My theory for doing it was that 1 it was nice, 2 some sleep better than none, 3 easy to bf even when half asleep, 4 well settled baby.

I didn't co-sleep with either of my children (it's just not my thing, and neither of them liked to be cuddled when they were tired - yes weird I know!) but from my observations it can work very well where both parents are happy to do it long-term. That is, if mum and dad see it as a way of life for their family everyone tends to be happy with it. Where problems seem to arise is where mum resorts to co-sleeping out of desperation and dad is never really keen on it from the outset, and both think its just a "short term" thing. Invaraibly, the baby becomes (understandably!) very used to co-sleeping so it can be very hard to go back to "normal".

So I guess the gist of it is - if you see co-sleeping as normal for you, that's great for both you and bub. But if its used as a way to get you through the night you might come to regret your decision.

As a different approach, both our boys slept in a cot in our room til they were quite old (Flynn was around 7 months and Ollie was in til he was over 1 year). It worked for us well as they both settled quite well (though staying with a baby and patting them to sleep can be quite tiring in the inital days) and both not deal with quite a bit of noise while they sleep (our ensuite is next to our bedroom so from day one they had to sleep through us walking around the room, turning on the light, having a shower next door and, obviously, DTD!). Your baby is very, very little and it may take her some time to fall asleep anywhere other than in your safe arms, but there are some gentle methods to getting a baby to sleep in their own bed which don't involve controlled crying. HTH.

I've co-slept on and off with both my girls. If they settle into their cot/bassinett/bed easily I don't worry about co-sleeping with them. However if they are unsettled, had a long/upsetting day or are sick I always bring them into bed with us. It is lovely to wake up listening to their breathing and they do seem to sleep a lot better with us, but I am a wriggly sleeper so I do need some bed to myself sometimes.

Try it for a while and see how you go. You don't have to co-sleep all the time, nor keep them in their own bed all the time. GL

ETA - just to add (cause of post above) my DH didn't mind the babys in bed with us, he liked getting cuddles as well and he is less likely to be kicked by me if there is another person in the way ;) As a consequence DD1 still sleeps with us occassionally if she is sick and she is 6.5yo. Of course it means one of us sleeps on the couch as the three of us don't fit in the bed anymore :rolleyes: We're thinking about getting a king size bed so we can

we have a cot which DD sleeps in most of the time but when she wont settle i bring her into the bed, i put my body pillow around me so each arm is on a end and i cradle her in my arms ,she can feed there and i 100 safe, as i cant move and neither can she ,she sleeps so well there, and its the most beautiful feeling waking up to see her there

as long as u do is safely i think its great

I co-slept with my parents so it just seemed like the natural thing to do with DS was born. We did it from day 1. DS would start off in the bassinette beside our bed at night but then around 12am he'd always get restless, putting him in the bed between us always solved the problem straight away.

DH was rather apprehensive about the whole idea at first, but now loves it. It's so sweet to see them snuggling in bed together. I think what made him come around was seeing how much easier it made feeding for me. Having to get up every 2 hours to feed, turn the light on, sit up by the time I'd done all that I was awake. Happy mama and baby= happy dad! Having DS sleeping with us helped him sleep for longer stretches and we both just fall back asleep while he fed. It can get messy though often I'd wake up in a puddle of milk thanks to DS latching off!

Now DS is 10.5 months, sleeps in a cot next to our bed then usually comes into the bed around 3am. On the rare occasion he sleeps through the night he'll just stay in the cot. We'll just keep on co-sleeping until DS is ready to sleep on his own, whenever that may be.

Give sleeping with your baby by Dr James McKenna a read if you haven't already, it's an excellent book.

it was the only way to get DS1 to sleep, when we had him in his own room he would cry for hours. As soon as we had him sleep in our bed, no problems. Now we have a cot bed beside the bed and he sleeps there and DS2 sleeps in betweem DH and I. In summer I want to move them into their own room, but they will share a bed- and 1 of us will stay with them til they fall asleep and we will have the new baby in bed with us

Thanks so much everyone, you have totally put my mind at ease.

To be honest, DH is the one who is more keen than me, I am just terrified of something happening (but am also terrified of absolutely everything to do with my little one - it's not just the co-sleeping, I am a worry wart!).

Co- sleeping seems to be working for us at the moment and you ladies have just totally confirmed that for me. Thanks so much.

Sue xxx

We co-slept with DD2 until she no longer wanted to at 5 and a half months (think this ones going to be very headstrong!)
it was fantastic for us, everyone would get a decent amount of sleep and my boobs were always there for her to grab a feed whenever she wanted to, half the time i didnt even know she wanted a feed till i woke up to her feeding!
if it works for u then definetly do it, if not its not a big issue

Sue, if I could suggest one thing you don't have to worry about - it's how you're going about this "motherhood" gig. You are reflecting, questioning, enjoying, and loving - all the good stuff. Welcome to this wonderful, scary, strange and exciting world :dance:

Hi Sue

We are playing around with sleeping arrangements at the moment too. We have a hammock set up in our room that my little one will sleep in. I have also had her in the bed, with my arm around her. And we also have a 'first years close & secure sleeper' that is a mini bassinette that goes in the parental bed for bub to sleep in.

At night i can't yet lift my little one, so when she is in the hammock DH has to get her for a feed and take her back. Having her in the bed eliminates this issue. When we are both really tired, i am bit wary of co-sleeping- and here's where the sleeper thing has come in really handy. It really helps being able to soothe her from bed, and easy access for feeding but the protective bit round her head lets me feel bit more secure.

Not sure what we will do long term, but having a few options is working for us at the moment.

take care,

Kate

Havent read the other BBers posts but I love co-sleeping. I would co-sleeping with DD until she was 18yrs old if it wasnt for my DH complaining (he got evicted to another room)

DD can only sleep when im in the bed with her. So in short, here are my pros and cons

PRO
* Feel so connected with DD
* Love watching her little face when she is asleep
* Easier to look after her
* She sleeps for longer periods of time when co-sleepign with me

CONS
* Had to evict DH as hteres not much room in the bed
* DD tends to kick me often at night
* Cannot get her to sleep in her own room
* Worried about her kicking if i was to have a second bub

HTH

I co-slept with DD2 from birth until about 6 weeks as she wouldn't settle at night any other way. She slowly graduated to her cradle (wooden with spaced bars so she could see us) and then to the room she shares with DD1 at 10m. She would also co-sleep when unsettled travelling or unwell.

I loved it and think it was really beneficial to all of us. I always slept with DD2 to the outside of the bed tucked into the crook of my arm so that I was in the middle. That way I didn't worry about DP pulling up the doona or rolling onto her. I did get a sore arm at times but I got used to it.

I co-slept with DS1 from about 8mths, before that I'd get up during the night to feed him & find myself falling asleep sitting up - definitely not safe! With DS2 from when we got home, he'd come into our bed from first wake-up & I'm getting so much more sleep this time.

There are safe co-sleeping guidelines - mustn't be affected by drugs, alcohol or exhaustion, must be non-smokers, use blankets rather than doonas (I wear a cardigan to bed to stop me getting too cold)

We are part time co sleepers as well....he has his hammock and usually starts out his night in there and if he is unsettled after any feed during the night he comes into bed with us....we also have the first years safe sleeper but have only used it a handful of times...bubs did not like it as if he was unsettled he wanted/needed body contact with one of us to reassure hin that we were there...we should probably retry it now he is a it bigger...he would probably be okay in there now. He is usually just in between us but occasionally has the grizzles and needs the cuddles comfort to help him drop off again...it is not unusual for me to wake up 3 hours with a dead arm......lol....
I see nothing wrong with it...it is ressuring for bubba and means we get more sleep rather than spending 2-3hours trying to resettle a bub in the wee hours (we learnt this the hard way after hubby tried this tactic when bubs first came home....wasn't long before he realised he would get more sleep if he just brought him into bed with us)....