What should a 9/10month old feeding pattern be?

Hi All,

Well Eva and I have made it to nearly 10 months of bfing. Over the last month I've really struggled with bfing again. She is still all over the place and I can't seem to get her into a pattern. Then she is biting, pinching and she won't settle for her night sleeps unless she in on the boob. Not to mention that she is still waking and feeding 3 to 4 times overnight.

Some times I wonder where I have gone wrong:( I don't trust that she has had enough to drink so I just keep giving her breast. I have made a rod for my own back like everyone around me has said.

Now I know a fair few bubs at this age are having 4 to 5 feeds per day. Well Eva is still having 8 to 9. I was hoping to have her weaned by 12 months or at least only having a couple of feeds per day.

Some direction would be appreciated.

bek, i'm not sure what it 'should' be but corey is still having 5 or 6 feeds during the day & then at least 5 overnight. so we're pretty much the same. in my MG there is one baby who is feeding every 4 hours (but sleeps through) & another that has 3 feeds a day but wakes every 2 hours overnight & she feeds him back to sleep.

I think you have a few separate things here. Firstly, there is nothing harmful for Eva in feeding squillions of times - other than turning her family in to zombies, which is not necessarily a good thing. But at the same time she "needs" (in the nutritional sense) something like 500-700 ml of breastmilk a day - which could be 3 big feeds or lots of little ones.

1) Does she drink water? Getting her to have water sometimes rather than boobs may help her "consolidate" feeds, and may also help your concerns about her fluid intake.
2) Does she eat a reasonable amount and variety of food? This isn't crucial right this instant, but if you would like her to reduce her breastfeeding over the next few months then she needs to have the hang of the eating thing...
3) Does she have other ways of going to sleep that don't involve boobs?? You may want to try feeding until nearly asleep instead, or finding an alternative way of settling. It seems as though you may have ended up in the situation (I know I did) where your boobs are her comforter and "teddy". If your library has the "no cry sleep solution" book by Elizabeth Pantley (there's one for toddlers that I think would be more use for you than the one for babies) then give it a read too.
4) She is old enough to learn some booby manners. Biting and pinching should lead to the end of a feed with something like a stern "no biting" and being put on the floor for a break of a few minutes before anything resumes. THis is another do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do thing, because it is no fun at all to have to teach a big, strong two-year-old not to pinch.

Good luck!

:hug: Bek. It sounds like you are having a rough time.

There is no such things as a "normal" pattern - every baby is different. The WHO has published that the average number of feeds at 9 months is 7. For that to be the average there are going to be a lot of babies having less than that, and a lot having more. Certainly your 8 - 9 is well in the normal range.

I wonder if you are struggling more with the number of feeds, or the fact that she is feeding in the night? The 9 or 10 month mark is a common time for babies to start feeding more often, especially at night. There seem to be a few reasons for this. One is that for many babies it is a time of separation anxiety. This seems to be a common age for them to become aware that mum isn't always there, and that mum might not come back. Feeding is a sure-fire way to be near mum so babies often feed more often to be close to mum. At night, if the baby stirs, crying for a feed and having mum come and feed is very reassuring. It can be very tiring for mum, but it might help to know that by doing so you are doing the very best thing to help Eva's emotional development.

Apart from the comfort, this can also be a time where the physical need for milk can increase. This is often related to the rapid brain development which is starting now to prepare Eva for walking and talking and other milestones. Solids do not provide the right balance of fats, nutrients etc for this brain growth, so it is common for babies to increase the number of breastfeeds at this time. Also, 9 month old babies are very alert and easily distracted during the day, so often their milk intake during the day is decreased, and they make up for this at night.

All of these things are very normal, and temporary. It really is a matter of your own situation as to whether or not this is a problem. Some mums are fine with it and are happy to go with the flow and ride it out. For others, the lack of sleep can be a problem, especially if she is working, studying or has older kids.This is really an individual thing. Knowing that Eva's feeding is normal, how do you feel about it now?

If you decide that it's too much and you need to reduce the feeds, there are some good tips for reducing feeds and night weaning, however many of them won't work well with a baby so young. However, let me know if you would like some ideas.

GL hun.

Oh Bek, firstly :hug: I could have written this post myself. DD will be 9 months in 1 week and will still feed 8-9 times a day and wake minimum of 2 but mostly 3-4 times a night. Her day sleeps are pretty much non existant. I'm not wanting to turn this into a me post but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Just remember like adults, every baby is different. No book is written for your baby so really you are creating your own rules and things as you go. I too am often feeding just to settle/sleep because every thing else won't work.

I hope that someone else is able to pop in here and give you some other advice. I know a few have given me great strength when I posted recently about similar issues.

I totally understand where you are coming from hon, I know some people who are down to just 3 feeds a day (yes that includes the night too :o) and others who are feeding probably 10 or more times a day...

I've also been planning on weaning at 12 months or at least being at just a morning and night feed, but wondering how on earth we're going to get there. Until about a month ago DS was having around 8 feeds a day. I have found that since we've been able to get his solids intake up (well for the moment anyway, hence my other thread LOL) that we were able to get it back to 5 and are working towards 4. At the moment he is having a bf when he wakes up in the morning, then one before each of his two naps, one before bed and then one during the night (but I've gone back to doing a dream feed hoping to change it over iykwim?).

About a month ago when we were having terrible sleep problems (another thread again) I made the decision that I was only going to give him 1 bf a night. In our case it was the right choice because a lot of the time when he was waking he didn't really want the boob and I was kinda of encouraging it as an easy way to resettle him. I'm not saying that that's necessarily the solution for you and Eva, but for us it has made a big difference (and our sleep is much better too).

I think it is just as the others have said, it's only a problem if it is a problem for you, and only you know if that is the case for you. In my case, I'm planning on going back to work a few days a week when DS is 12mths so anymore than a couple of BF's a day won't be workable if we are to continue so I need to start working on reducing the feeds, but that is just our situation... HTH

Thanks everyone. I appreciate your input, advice and hugs. I will read over everything again tomorrow.

Manta - Just knowing that we are "normal" does help xxoo. I guess I need to know that it is ok to feed often.

hi honey
we are the same here - made even harder by the fact that i am back at work 4 days a week...
i express milk for him to have at creche and he has 1-2 bottles there (he is starting to take formula there so i could stop expressing soon i guess). he also has one when he wakes and 1 before bed. also sometimes one when i get home from work... and then the night begins.... 2 or 3 overnight. we did have a couple of wks when i didnt feed onight but he has reverted (and so have i). i agree with MR re the emotional needs... and it iseasier for me to do this atm than to settle himwith no feeds (though i am thinking about it). his solids are just increasing so maybe he will decrease feeds again but i am notiving so many chgs with his development and growth that maybe he needs more in that way too...
i dont really have any answers but rest assured we are the same at my place!