Some advice on what to do - Continue to breastfeed?

Hey im just looking for some advice

My little baby girl is 15 1/2 weeks and we are not having a very good time right now
I only breastfed till about 8 weeks but then we had a bad few days and i decided to top her up with some formula....worst descision ever! our problems started from there, my supply dropped then she would fuss and fight at the boob coz i think she didnt like that it wasnt coming out as fast. she wouldnt suck long enough for the let down to happen....a tone of problems started! I have been seeing a Lac Consultant and shes been so helpful. She thinks that bub has reflux and that is contributing to her being so unsettled. we have started on losec its been 5 days so hopefully it will start working soon. back to the breastfeeding, im am taking domperidome and that has boosted my supply but she still fights as soon as the flow slows down and never really finishes a feed unless shes really sleepy. im still topping her up thru the day and i just dont know if its worth the stress. i really want to continue to breastfeed but i dont know wether shes just going to be happier with a bottle. shes putting on plenty of weight but shes just never ever happier for longer then half hour and never sleeps for longer then 1/2 hour during the day and at night she continues to wake all night....she used to sleep thru the night from 2 weeks up till about 8 weeks! was anybobys elses bub more settled when they started bottle feeding? i really need some help :(

Spend a couple of days doing nothing but feeding. Topping her up will not help. Lay in bed with her and every time she looks at you sideways offer her the bb. Dont give up yet, take it one day at a time, You will get there :hug:

Awwww Refulx... I feel your pain! My LO has reflux and it's hard!

I agree with Alioops - Take a couple of days, clear your schedule and just cuddle and feed and cuddle and feed (a baby carrier works well) I found with my LO all she wanted to do was be helded by me, feed...

hope she starts to settle soon!

what happens if you dont force the last little bit of breast when she "fights it ' if you left the feed there then as soon as she showed signs feed her breast again?

how often is she feeding? lots of wet nappies?

bottle or breast wont really make a difference for sleeping patterns. do you sleep with her? you and her may find you get a better sleep if you do.

she really just snack feeds during the day. I do offer her the breast as often as possible but as soon as theres no fast flow she wont have it and just starts screaming till i give her a botttle. we dont really go anywhere, im scared to leave the house most of the time!! plenty of wet nappies. I try not to sleep with her when my partner is in the bed (mostly he falls asleep on the lounge and i leave him there :) but yes when shes asleep with me she sleeps longer but still she like throws her head side to side alot of the time like shes dreaming? do bubs dream? or like shes hurting in her sleep...this is what wakes her up most of the time im thinking.

how often are you feeding her? what is your expectations about feeding her(frequency, length)
Is your DP supportive of feeding and helping with other things around so you can focus on feeding?

shes really not in any routine of feeding, if i get her before shes fullt awake shes might have a good breastfeed...but then thats still not much, and then i usally top her up about 60mls coz shes cranky and then i usally have to cuddle feed her off to sleep. so i cant really give how often in hours...theres just no routine!

I really wanted to go as long as i could....6months - 1 year i was hoping.
Im guessing DP is my partner? im new here i dont know what these DP DD mean :)
He just gets cranky when shes cries. he does try and help with housework (when hes not at work) but hes just sick of the crying and unsettledness. truthfully he isnt very supportive i ask him all the time what does he think i should do and he just says its up to me

Ring 1800 686 268 (1800 Mum 2 Mum)

That is the ABA helpline. I actually had to tell DH (dear hubby) to encourage me to keep going. It helped a lot for him to not put pressure on me to make my DD's (dear daughters) stop crying. The crying puts enough pressure on you with him adding to it ITMS (if that makes sense).

When I felt like giving up I always said keep going today and see how I feel in the morning. It certainly did help and I am still feeding at 10 months.

The biggest thing on the hard days is support, You can do this hun. You are a great mum. Don't second guess yourself, your intuition is there for a reason. One feed at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time.

If you have a breast pump you could try expressing until you let down to make it easier for her. And after feeding express and top up with expressed milk.

Hang In There hun, It's not always easy but it is worth it.

Hun, it sounds like you have been having a very difficult time. Good on you for seeing an LC and trying to work through it all. I'm afraid I don't have time to write a helpful post right now, but Ali is right that calling 1800 mum 2 mum (1800 686 2686) is a great idea. It is a toll-free number and you can call 24 hours, 7 days. They will have some ideas for you. In the meantime, some mums find that it helps to gently squeeze their breast when the milk flow starts to slow down. This helps more milk come out so can keep baby happier for longer and also ensure they get more milk at the end of the feed.

GL with it all hun. You are doing such a great job :hug:

This particular age is notorious for babies wanting more milk - to the extent that even those of us who usually have oversupply problems have ended up on the phone to the ABA asking why bub is still hungry.
Please give things a chance to work - the losec, the motilium, and bub a few more weeks to get through this patch. And the feed-a-rama suggestion is a good one. Also - make sure you have the slowest possible flow teat (i.e. newborn, although she's not) for any formula or expressed milk feeds, so she doesn't get "lazy".

Also - rather than formula topping up, have you tried giving bub 3 or 4 boobs per feed - sometimes just coming off the boob and back on again is enough to remind her that when things slow down she should suck!

Then assess where you are and where you want to be going, see the LC again, and make your decision.
It doesn't feel like it at the moment, but you are doing a great job!

Have you tried sleeping bub on a little bit of a slope - putting a wedge under her mattress or even sleeping her in a baby-chair or (at least during the day) in a sling?? Sometimes being a bit more upright helps the reflux too.

If you have fallen in to the trap of using tea/coffee/coke to deal with sleep deprivation then you may need to cut back - because you are probably also giving bub a caffeine hit, which is less than helpful.

Other things that may (or may not) help cranky babies:
a bath (at one stage we were bathing bub at midnight, since that was one of his grumpiest periods and the bath seemed to relax him)
going outside (it's much easier on your brain to be going for a walk with a grumpy baby than to be cooped up inside with one)
movement
being rocked (an office chair and a sling helps make this easier on the arms)
music (whatever you like - she might as well get used to it)



hugs!
Kate

Hugs, sounds like your having a hard time...

With the comment of your DP (dear partner) Being cranky when she's crying. Maybe it is just him getting frustrated about not being able to help?!? I've learnt that some dads feel a little helpless (my DP does, and i've heard of a few others) because their LO (little one) only wants mum...

It might helped to do some reading about Reflux www . reflux . org . au is a site that i felt helped. Good idea to read it through with your DP...

With my LO reflux we got this natural mix called Marina Mix <... It works really well (I love it) , But with all medications, just check with a dr or pharmaciest to see if it will best suit your LO :-)

With breastfeeding... There was days were that was all i was doing with my LO, she'd feed, go to sleep for ten mins, then want the boob back. It's hard, but stick at it :- D

If you need to chat or have any questions, I your welcome to PM (privite message) me.

HTH (hope that helps)

Are you offering the second breast to do the top up? Like she finishes one side and takes a tiny bit from the other.

It can take a couple of weeks for the medication to completely settle the reflux, and then sometimes a little longer for bubs to become more settled, as they are still expecting the pain. Reflux babies tend to become unsettled at the end of a feed, its not necessarily because they want more to drink, its that it can cause pain filling their stomachs up to the brim. Then they can get pain again in about 1 to 11/2 hour, then they act like they want another feed, which is their way of soothing the pain with the milk, so you will end up feeding, it can become a vicious circle. Its why reflux bubs tend to snack feed. A dummy can help out heaps to settle and try to prolong the feeding times, reducing the cycle, so it is worth a try.

The quickest and best way to remove top ups with formula is to just stop them completely. It can be difficult to do but your supply with change quickly to match.

It is a myth that bottle feeding makes babies more settled and sleep longer. It can also make reflux worse. Hang in there, things will improve, I promise.

:hug: hope things are getting better for you. The only advice I've got is to maybe once she's had both sides and she's still fussing for more, just put her back to the first side. I did this often with DD, especially around those fussy times and she would often have both sides twice. Also, try a good sling during the day to see if that helps settle bub. DS has trouble bringing up his wind, and I find if I lie hime down, he wakes up about 15-30mins later in pain because of the wind, so when he's asleep or settling down for a sleep, I'll pop him in the sling (i have a hug a bub, which holds him upright), he may have a bit of a windy cry for a few minutes, but then will generally do a big burp (and normally chucks up straight down my cleaveage :rolleyes: and then all of a sudden, he's asleep and has a much better sleep in that than in the pram/bassinet etc.

hello thanks everyone for replying with your advice. Freya is starting to improve i think from the Losec, but the breastfeeding is still posing a problem. SammRo - she fusses because she wont stay on (as soon as the flow slows) she pulls off and starts crying, eventuallt screaming coz shes hungry but wont go back on. I dont want to force her. I do offer each side a few times but she wont have a bar off it once she knows its not going to come out fast, I just dont know how to get her to stay long enough not to need a top up.

Hi Jennie. Good on you for sticking with it and good to hear the medication is starting to work. Have you had a chance to ring the ABA - it is a free service and they have great counsellors 24 hrs a day - great just to have a chat to tey are all mums who have been there and know how you feel.

A couple of things I know helped me:

Firstly if breastfeeding is what you want to do and it was all going well before recently than ditch the bottles completely

RELAX! Especially when bub is fussing at the breast, relax - bub can sense your tension and frustration too. Try deep breathing, visualisations anything to help you destress and keep the letdown going

When she starts to fuss take her off the boob and walk and pat, sing whatever calms you both down. Maybe jump in the bath together and try breastfeeding in there. When she is settled or if you think she might try again then offer the other side with the faster flow

Has she got any white spots on her tongue or in her mouth - could she have thrush in her mouth - I know my DD would go through stages of pulling on and off when she had thrush.

Drink lots of water and ditto on what the other person said about caffine.

Have you tried a chiropractor that specialises in babies. Made a massive different with my DD! Both with sleeping and feeding

Also it's good to keep in mind that just because a bub takes a bottle doesn't mean that they are still hungry. I read a great article the other day about the reasons bubs seem to settle after a bottle feed but I can't for the life of me remember the details... anyone else read it????

Be patient and hang in there. six months from now you will look back at this slice of time and be so proud of yourself for hanging in there and everytime you can quickly and easily feed your baby - night or day whereever you are without needing to worry about bottles you will be so pleased you hung in there.

You are an awesome mum and keep telling yourself you are doing a good job and my favourite line - "this too will pass" it was my mantra for the the first few months of my babies lives and still comes in very handy today :-)