Age appropriate chores...

Hi, girls.
I havent posted much in this forum as i have been really into the pg ones, but was just wondering what chores you think are appropriate for a 9yr old girl. My daughter tidies the floor and can change a nappy when its wet (not dirty), tidy her room and make her bed and thats about it. My friends daughter vaccums, mops, does dishes, folds washing and puts it away. She can clean the bathroom and generally do eveything her mother can.
I dont agree with letting my daughter do all of these things, but also think its good to have the skills (if you can call it that, lol).
What do your kids do around the house to help out?

Thanks Shannon. My daughter begs me to be able to help as well, but because I am so impatient it just seems easier and faster to do it all myself as opposed to redoing it after her when shes not looking, lol.

My son aged nearly three has two regular daily chores - setting the table for breakfast (with supervision, so we carry anything hot or sharp) and clearing away his toys / tidying his room before dinner. He also does the vacuuming, but only because he loves it and is obsessed by vacuum cleaners. He actually does a good job for a little person, but I usually do a quick "finish off" at the end. He helps with gardening and cooking when requested, although he's not quite at the stage of actually being useful. He's newly toilet trained, so he has to rinse out his pants if he has an accident.

For your 9yo, she can probably cope with pretty much any job once she has had some practice, but as you say you don't want her slaving away all the time having to do everything. I'd allow her some choice as to what chores she prefers. Of course you could do things faster on your own, but maybe you could think of it as quality time educating her.

my ds is 6 and has inherited my dh's neat freak genes lol. every morning he makes his bed and at night he gathers up all the dirty clothes from him and his sister and puts them in the washing basket, he also packs away the toys in the playroom - these are his "chores" to get a lunch order once a week.

he also asks to do the vaccuming, washing up the dishes, dusting and cleaning the car - of course we let him do it and he always get a little pocket money for it - which he puts into his money box which he can't get into, he says when it is full he is going to take it to the bank for his when he wants to buy a car.

omg he is a real little mini dh pmsl

Natalie my children are responsible for feeding their pets...a dog, cat, fish, guinea pig,rabbit and chooks and keeping their beds made and rooms tidy. My oldest dd unloads the dishwasher daily. My 9yo dd occassionally sweeps the verandah and tidies the bathroom. Just the other day she suprised me when I had a load of washing to fold and put away and found she had done it all! The kids dont change nappies though. Very often they will ask to help out with things...ie like washing windows,benches, dusting and are quite capable at it.

Jo

My Daughters are almost 13 and 10 y/o. I have been really slack with having them do anything, mainly because my Dad was living here and between us we had everything under control. The girls have a laundry hamper each in their room and it is their job to pick up their dirty clothes and put them in the hamper and when that is full then sort them in the laundry. They also make their beds and hopefully keep their rooms tidy...more often than not, I end up helping them but we have just dejunked the eldest room, so hopefully she will manage to keep it clean.

They also help out with vacuuming, loading the dishwasher, putting away dishes. Tayla is in charge of making mashed potato, when we have it. I am slowly teaching them both some sort of cooking skills. They both love helping in the garden, used to be my Dads domain, but they see that as a way of connecting with him now that he has passed away.

Basically most of the things the girls will have a go at. They have their favourites but usually they prefer me to do it all. I mainly leave it up to them to offer and they usually do something.

I know that my sister never had to do anything while she was growing up, and I mean nothing, my mother did it all for her. She has had a really hard time learning to do everything and still has no idea on how to do most of it, especially cooking. So I would really like my kids to learn how to do things now so that they are not in that situation, but I do not force them to do everything, its really up to them.

I think my mum must be mean! I had to make my own lunch from the day I started school. By 10 I had to do the dishes regularly and if they weren't clean enough mum made me do them again. I was supposed to keep my room clean, but if it got too messy my mum would come in with a rubbish bag and throw away everything on the floor - I stayed in front of her and put away everything I wanted to keep. At 10 I also had to feed the horses and calves every morning, and when the pet cow had her baby I had to hand milk her twice a day too.

Artechim - I don`t think your Mum was being mean, it sounds to me she was preapring for your adult life. My DH will not do anything around the house, except very occasionally he`ll help to dry the dishes, all because his Mum did everything for him as a child/young adult.

I really believe early beginnings of helping out are good for children as this will continue into their adult lives (hopefully) and if I had a DH who helped out a little my life would be so much easier.

I have two step sons who are 13 and 12 and it doesn`t matter how much I ask them to do something (such as picking up their socks, putting clothes away or picking up lolly papers) they have got to the stage where they will not listen so I have given up - not a good thing but it makes life easier at times.

I have told DH a number of times my children will grow up helping, it`s benefiticial for their married life, I don`t want my sons to grow up not helping at all and expecting their wife to do everything.

Good on you girls who have children who do chores - your doing a great job.

I also think that children should have the responsibility for contrubuting to the family chores - but the problem i have is that my kids always think they should be getting something in return

does anyone actually have their kids doing their chores without the expectation of a 'reward'??

hi Sue,
i am a firm believer in kids helping out at home. However it is very easy to everything yourself rather than nag, nag, nag.... . In my house at the moment ... ( bear in mind this doesn't work every week esp now with hsc in progress), my chn are 17 almost 18, and 14 and a half: we have a roster for the dishwasher , clean up the kitchen after dinner on weekdays. They nominate which day they want. They cook a meal each ( this works outside hsc). They have to clean their bathroom , which I always have to nag about . One puts bins out , the other brings them in. I don't clean their rooms , except to vaccuum if I can find the floor. My son , 17 yr old does his own washing .He irons for everyone for cash.My daughter sometimes does her own washing if I ask her to.
I am kinda proud that my son ( whose father comes from one of those families where women do all the domestic stuff) can leave home someday and survive.
I know this all sounds good and I am the first to admit it doesn't work all the time and not much is completely voluntary. I am a full time working mum , and Ican't do it all!
I think the trick is to start young!
Annie

I forgot to add that they both get 'pocket money ' but it doesn't hinge on them pulling their weight. Sometimes i deny priveleges until jobs are done eg internet access, tv or a ride somewhere. We also have had discussions as to job allocation , so they get to have some ownership and choice.
xx

My son (13) isn't too bad but can be a slacker and not want to do much at times. He will do the dishwasher - usually when asked and after asking me why he has to, to which I reply because we're a family and we all make the mess so we should all help. On the odd occasion he has surprised me by cleaning the kitchen or something like that...usually after I've had a bit of a wobbly and asked why do I have to do everything...lol...maybe it's reverse psychology. He actually does keep his room pretty tidy! He'll feed the cat and clean out the litter tray and help with bringing the washing in and putting his clothes away. I have him peel the potatoes for dinner and he makes his own brekky and lunch.

Sue, I heard the other day that the two should be kept seperate. They can get weekly pocket money as being part of the family and they have responsibilities and chores as part of the family. They shouldn't necessarily be linked.
Parents don't get paid for running a household so I suppose kids shouldn't either. However if it's extra jobs such as washing a car etc then they can earn extra pocket money for that. Just not for everyday jobs as such.
Hope that makes sense....

My 3 year old(almost 4) helps in what she can, she can't stand mess(something that she got from me) she also feeds her hamster and her puppy, she also cleans her room in what she can, she can fold her clothes and she loves helping me with the dishes.
I also have stepdaughter she's 9(almost 10) she comes from February to July and she stays in our house for those 6 months, she really helps around the house, keeping her room clean, she helps me with Rory and as she says she gives DH time to rest when she's here

I grew up in a very sexist household. From a young age I had to watch my mum do everything (she was a SAHM) and my dad sit on his arse and call out demands, that passed on to me and i think from about 14 i was helping my mum run the household because she had to start working (i was helping out before that with vacumning, washing...and stuff like that). All the while doing that my brother had 1 chore, the dishwasher and more often than not i had to do it. From about 17 (mum started working full time) i was basically running the household for them, all washing, cleaning and cooking was done by me.

the thing is, I moved out of home at 22 knowing how to do everything! My DP had everything done for him at home, so he knew next to nothing and MIL said we would never survive (she didn't realise that i was running my parents house for them), and she was very surprised how well we did! I think it was the best thing my parents ever did having me do all the chores...I know my SIL really struggles to get my brother to do anything around the house (:twisted: i say my parents gave me the good habits). I also know someone that is about to move out of home who is older than me who doesn't know how to boil an egg.

I'm so happy that i had to do all that stuff because it really helped set me up for when I moved out of home, in fact living out of home was easier than living at my parents because i had a smaller house to run, my mum was the one who struggled because she lost her live in house cleaner, cook. I used to go back on the weekends to help her clean because i felt sorry for her. I know when i have kids i will probably give them chores (maybe not as many as i had), but i think its a great experience for them, i'll just make sure its fair for boys and girls (i wouldn't want my future DIL to be stuck with someone like my brother lol).

Sorry i just wanted to put my two cents in. I think chores for kids is a great idea!

Bron - I completely agree! I think boys need to learn everything just the same as girls!! My brother was much the same as well. And my dh and his brothers didn't know anything either. My dh now could live on his own well as I've told him how to do things and at times have expected him to help out.

My oldest has just turned 15 and she is such a great help (except when she is having a hormonal teenage day!) She could run this house by herself lol. We have just moved house and decided that in this house everyone will have their own area of responsibility. DD#1 has the kitchen and her room and the bins, DD#2 has her room and the bathroom (basic cleaning only!! she was very excited because I bought her a pink sponge to wipe the sink with) Dh has yard and lounge room and I have everything else. This is a huge step for DH cause he usually does nothing! despite coming from a very enlightened home where his dad did all the washing and ironing.
DD#2 who is nearly 7 is quite helpful when the mood takes her (she is VERY lazy!!) and also feeds her fish which she likes doing.

Quote: does anyone actually have their kids doing their chores without the expectation of a 'reward'??

Yes! Infact if my DD refuses to do her share she loses 'priviledges' such as screen time and socialising. She is nearly 12yo. We also don't give her pocket money. Her chores include: keeping her room tidy, making her bed, emptying the bins, bringing in washing, tidying her bathroom (not scrubbing it yet). She also is 100% responsible for being ready for school eg making her own lunches, laying out her uniform, polishing her shoes, and even walks to school.

She will occassionally ask to do extra things such as wash the car, go to the shops (around the corner) change a nappy etc. She can be very mature and usually does all her jobs well unless she's tired or has been sitting infront of a screen (mainly the 'pute) for too long which i find makes her act irritable afterwards.

If she contributes well she knows that I'll meet all her reasonable demands of clothing, socialising and extra treats such as spending any change left over from buying the bread etc.

My 3yo has jobs too: he wipes up (as best he can) spilt accidents, brings in the little wheelie bin (I bring in the big one) every Monday morning, and always helps to tidy up one toy before he plays with another.... unless I'm glued to BB in which he does tend to drag everything out... but that's the price I pay ;)

I think that it's a great opportunity to involve children as much as they are capable of. I know it takes patience but I think it's our job as parents to teach our children to be as independant as possible. We're not doing any favours by doing it all for them. The trick is to praise the good efforts and ignore the bad as much as possible.

Unfortuantly I see a lot of other parents who (because they are both work fulltime) feel guilty asking their children to do work during the precious little time each day that they see them. I bite my tongue but this is a recipe for disaster.