wedding party and spending

i didnt knwo wat to title this as so sorry if it didnt sound right lol.

One of Dh' s friends has got engaged to the most selfish person i have ever met and no one really get along with her. so she has decided that she wants to go married overseas and expects everyone to pay 3k per person to attend the wedding. we have already said we r unable to attend because we didnt even spend 6k on our whole wedding (which we paid for everything for the bridal party)
BUT my whole point to this post is Dh's best friend has been asked to be the best man and he feels as if no matter where the wedding is he has to go. Dh's best friend is way worse off financially then us and he has also just got engaged and is thinkin he will put his wedding off for a bit now cause he will have to pay to go to this other wedding.

Do you think it is rude to expect someone to pay 3k just on flights and accomodation to be best man when they know that persons financial stituation?

Yep. I do, and I dont think your DHs bestie should have to put his life on hold for it.

For sure thats wrong!!!

Your DH bestie should not stop his plans for someone else who expects people to fork out so much!

That's not right! If the bride and groom make the decision to have a wedding OS then IMO if they want to have specific people in their bridal party, they should pay for them to go. Plenty of beautiful places in Oz to get married!!

Corelly x

yes! and tell me... are wedding gifts expecting as well?
Honestly, some people have NO idea!

Yes. That's just silly. If I were put in that position, though, I'd be honest, and say I was finding it difficult to say yes because of my financial situation.

You should never put yourselves in a financial bind because of someone else. You must always put your family first. I think it is rude to ask people to pay that much money for anything.
Does this mean that the parents have to fork out this money also??
I think if enough say no they will either have to rethink their plans OS or just have a very small wedding. Don't forget that there is flights, accommodation, insurance, clothes, food and transport to consider and I'm sure you don't want to fly and spend that amount of money for a couple of nights.
Hopefully it will be later rather than sooner and you will not be allowed to fly and your DH will want to stay nearby in case you go early :)

Think of the wonderful holiday you could have in OZ with that amount of money :)

yeah i didnt think i was the only one that saw this as rude.
I really dont knwo y Dh's best friend feels like he cant say now and is putitn himself out the way he does. We got the whole loyalty thing thrown at us but we kinda just shurgged it off. Yes the groom to be came to our wedding but we didnt ask for a cent out of him and we didnt get a gift either.

If anything more is said, say you cannot afford the amounts with a baby on the way. Also you never asked him to fly overseas for your wedding.
You could hint that they pay for you to go as a gift to you both :rofl:

very rude. :shakehead:

Its very rude :shakehead: And if he knows you cant afford it he could have offered half of the money.

That is not on and you are right to feel put out. It is especially not fair to put guilt on you. It is one thing to have your dream wedding - and if that be OS all good - but another thing to expect everyone else to have to pay exorbitant amounts for you to have your dream.

I had a friend get married OS a few years ago BUT it was very reasonably done. Firstly they invited everyone saying we would love it if you can come but completely understand if it is not possible. They let everyone know there would be a party back home in Australia when they return for those who couldn't come to help them celebrate. Plus, they chose a reasonably 'cheap' location and negotiated some pretty good deals for guests. 20 people ended up making it including family and we had an absolutely awesome time with a week holiday together before the wedding. The whole no pressure thing really worked and I think the whole trip cost me about a grand. They also insisted no presents.

[Actually - When I consider how much some weddings I have been to here can cost when I need to get a new dress/shoes, sort out babysitting, travel away for a night, get present, be involved in hens night/bucks night etc, I think the OS holiday was great value!!]