lifestyle stuff namely coffee

Hey there everyone,
I am just really struggling giving up coffee. I try to cut back or give up preferably, in the lead up to a cycle. But this time it's just so hard. I think I am rebelling against all this "healthy living" and that it has something to do with being a bit depressed and not very hopeful in the treatment itself (like, what's the point, it won't work anyway, type thinking).
I have done loads of internet research (of course!), which tends to suggest none at all is best. But my FS and Chinese doctor both say one cup per day is ok (that's all I have at most). But I know that I feel calmer, healthier and "cleaner" without it. So I want to give up anyway.
Any insights on how to do this?
I feel like I'm really sabotaging my next cycle with a lot of down-hearted thinking and behaviour.

Can't really give you any advice, sorry. Just givng you a :hug: and a :bump: in case someone else knows.

All I can say is, whenever y mum had to give up coffee, she had a really hard time. She had real withdrawel symptoms (e.g. really bad headaches, feeling grumpy and irretable, feeling sick or tired) because her body was detoxing. She was like a druggy going cold turkey! :ROFL: So I know that it is really hard.
Do you like tea? I know there are some caffein-free teas out there (herbal and fruit tees, I think) and maybe it still helps to have a hot cuppa instead? Don't know. Maybe someone else knows more!

How about trying Mocha's and gradually reducing the amount of coffee you put in? Or can you try decaf?
It's a tough one to give up, and the most ironic thing is that when you do conceive you will probably go off coffee altogether :hug:

Hi Worrywart, on my successful cycle I had given up coffee from the start of stims, only because there is research to suggest it effects implantation, which was my issue. I guess you have to make up your mind whether you will regret it if you don't and always wonder. Besides, it is not forever. Wishing you all the best, xx

I know where you're coming from. When we first TTC I gave up alcohol and coffee soooo easily, just did it, it was exciting to be starting to try for a baby and I followed all the rules.

Of course I followed through with that during IVF, but we haven't done a cycle since October 2008 and I thought to hell with it. I'm on a break, I'm going to enjoy myself. Of course I did at the back of my mind think well what about still trying naturally and hoping for a miracle - am I sabotaging it but I have found it so hard to give up. Buying a mocha a day, I think a lot of it came down to habit - buying one on the way to work. and then drinking coffee at work to break the boredom of sitting at my desk.

I've been thinking for a while I really need to just do it. Also I'm having my gallbladder out shortly and I know I have to watch my diet from then, so I figured it's a perfect time to make changes. So a couple of weeks ago I thought that's it. I just have to go cold turkey, not one a day, totally cut it out. So for the last two weeks, I've only slipped up twice. I really do want to stop altogether (not just for the IVF, but my sleep patterns are horrendous and I go through the highs and lows during the day and thinking I need a coffee for a perk up). I'm at the point of starting to get my body healthy again and in readiness to try IVF later in the year or next year. I want to be as healthy (physically and mentally) as possible.

But it is sooo hard. And I know what you mean about rebelling. When you've had a few disappointments, you sometimes think well what's one cup of coffee going to do, my odds are already crap. But I think when it comes to doing my next lot of IVF (which will be our last couple of tries), I don't want to have any thoughts of "if only I didn't do this, or if only I didn't drink coffee". I totally understand, but as babydreamtime, I've been telling myself - it's not forever, one day I will have coffee again! haha, or maybe I'll feel so much for not having it I won't.

Maybe try to start slowly. Have a coffee every 2nd day. Some people say have decaf, but I've heard bad things about decaf and that's why I'm trying to give up the hot drinks. It would be easier if I liked herbal teas, which I don't.

Thanks so much everyone - thanks for the support. All really good suggestions, too.
Incomplete, what you say really resonates with me. I too have energy ebbs and flows throughout the day, and find myself a bit bored at my desk, and feel like coffee will perk me up (which it does - it actually just makes me a bit brighter and more talkative and sociable). It's such a reinforced behaviour. I'm sure it's chemical too. I imagine those neural circuits are just so activated now (I've been a coffee enthusiast since a trip to Italy during Uni days).
But I absolutely believe that the best course of action is to give it up (for now). I know on cycles where I've had none (or next to, maybe a slip up now and again), I've have felt really strong and proud of myself. Though my response has always been pretty shocking with IVF, I have to say.
Also, I don't know if anyone saw the news today, but apparently the heart foundation has removed any kind of approval for coffee as an anti-oxidant or to counter heart disease (and red wine too, sadly). Not that I was drinking it for the health benefits!
Anyway, I just really value the input and support.
I am drinking Earl Gray today, which though caffeinated, is a real break through.
Yes, I have to second that on decaff - I really think it's been processed to such a degree, that it's dodgy.
Thanks so much everyone,
WW.

Hi worrywart

I just wanted to add that you need to consider your DH's caffeine intake. We have done 3 IVF cycles and only got to transfer once which ended in a BFN. During that time my DH was drinking 4 to 5 double shots of coffee per day plus 2 cans of coke! A huge amount of caffeine but none of the Drs ever asked him about it. Then DH decided, after years of poor quality sleep, to reduce his caffeine intake to 1 or 2 single shots per day. He also started drinking Japanese green tea, which while it has some caffeine, also has lots of anti-oxidants. 5 months later we fell pg naturally! So I guess what I am trying to say is you need to look at your DH's intake as well and not put all of the pressure on yourself. You are not solely responsible for the TTC process.
xx

Hi worrywart,
Congrats on the healthy living. I found giving up coffee really hard during our cycles, esp when it is such a important part of the social element at work! I guess that my attitude was to try and do what you can but dont be to rough on yourself if you do enjoy a coffee or wine every now and then (and when you do make it a really good one) - I figure that the good hormone vibes given off when enjoying these treats outweights any negative impacts! In terms of dropping down my coffee intake, I did the following 1. started having a 'pot' of tea with a few people at work who enjoyed tea - it replaced the quick trip to the coffee shop for mid morning/arvo takeaway coffees but was still nice and social! 2. started drinking warm/hot water with a slice of lemon or lime in it - very healthy, no caffine, and you still have the excuse to get up and get a hot drink to bring back to your desk 3. started drinking skinny hot chocolates - esp in the morning in winter so it looked like I was arriving with my morning coffee...

Good luck and I hope that your next cycle is a good one - and dont be too down on yourself - you are doing heaps of stuff to make this a good cycle. Every cup of coffee that you dont have, is just an added bonus so dont fell down when you do have one, but instead think how good you have been for everyone you dont have.

FG

Thanks Farmgirl, yep, it is good to focus on what you do achieve. I have been giving myself ticks on my calendar for each day I skip the coffee. Kind of sounds like I'm in prison huh? I did have one today, but left around 2cm in the cup. I am so obsessive that I was trying to figure out how many milligrams of caffeine that would be.
And yes, thanks Chez, my DH has incredible will power and gives up coffee and chocolate for months at a time, even despite splitting headaches (I don't even get these). He's off it now in the build up to our next IVF (prob start stimming in just over a week).
My calendar is keeping me accountable, sort of. I have had 8.5 coffees this month. That means I've had 17.5 days without. Pretty good.
My goal is one full week without. Then I'll try for 2.
I might use gold stars!
Best of luck to all with their healthy living!
WW