i didnt think it would hurt this much

My pregnancy didnt even show on a poas, but did in a blood test, my pregnancy never moved past a bunch of cells, my baby never had a heart beat, yet i feel this strong sense of loss that i never though i would.
physically im ok, cramps have gone and werent as bad as i thought they'd be.
i just didnt think it would hurt this much

oh babe :hug:
You still feel the loss, the "could have been", the potential. Don't discount it at all, don't discount your feelings, allow yourself to grieve.

Hi,

I had a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage in April last year, which didn't show up on a POAS but did show up on a BT. It floored me. It was probably one of the lowest points for me because there was so much "potential" there, but no baby. Don't underestimate how much grief you need to process. For me, an early miscarriage was also really difficult because it wasn't meant to be same as a later miscarriage, and I found it hard to articulate why it hurt so much - it didn't have a heartbeat, so what was there to grieve. There was nothing "tangible" to grieve. But I learnt that a miscarriage is exactly that, no matter when it happens or why. You've suffered a loss, and that's hard no matter when it happens.

Take some time to grieve, and look after yourself. I had some counseling which really helped me understand why I was feeling that way, and it taught me a lot. Massive :hug: to you. Please take care.

skybie, I had a missed miscarriage that was (I now know) a blighted ovum, the baby as such never formedeven though I got as far as 9 wks, the pgcy as such never made it past 4 wks.
I struggled with feeling like it wasnt a legitimate miscarriage ITMS? I know its different to what has happened in your circumstances, but as soon as we know we are pregnant, like a PP said, there is that potential, that is just so suddenly gone, taken from us with such shock.
Big hugs beautiful Girl, we are all here for you if you need to talk, vent, cry. xxx

:hug: :hug: I'm so sorry you're going through this hun. A loss really *is* a loss, we all feel that terrible emptiness and pain. We not only lose a baby, we lose our entire future with that child too. Our other children lose a lifetime of being with that sibling. We grieve for what never was and what will now never be :( I'm so sorry for your angel. Take care of yourself.

Skybie :hug: I'm so sorry for your loss.

Im thinking about you a lot Skye :hug: Hope you're getting lots of love from DH and your girls:)

I'm so sorry you're going through this :hug: sadly, that sense of loss and hurting will always stay in your heart, but slowly, day by day, gradually it will ease. You're in my thoughts :comfort:

I am so sorry for your loss hun :hug:
Any loss is heartbreaking, fly free sweet angel :angel:
Take care and have lots of extra cuddles with your girls and DH xxoo

I never matters how far along you are the pain of loss is still present.

oh sweetheart :hug: :hug:.
I don't think you can be prepared for what it brings. Give yourself the space to feel what you feel.

Skybie...i could have written your exact post....im going thru a missed m/c now. I was so relieved at first when AF came...but friday and Sat the clots came (TMI I know...) and it really hit home...that this was the beginning of something special.
I kinda feel like you do today...i was ok yesterday...today i just feel blah...and keep thinking what could have been...
Hugs pet...

Skybie - I am soooo sorry to hear this. I remember the pain of loss so clearly and would never wish anyone to feel the pain I did (mostly emotional) Big hugs hun xox

Ohhhh, great big squeezie hugs, love. It hurts, it hurts so much.

Our genetic counsellor said to us that part of why it hurts so much is that it changes so much. You get your positive result, and it changes your lif instantly. It changes your plans for the next nine months, and subsequently the next twenty years or so.
When it all changes again, usually with no warning, it's a massive shock, and you have to re-make your plans.

I love the way you have represented your :angel: in your sig - I think that is such a beautiful way to honor your little angel.

I hope you can get through the hurt soon. Nothing ever makes it go away - you just learn new ways to cope with it :hug: And that takes time. So go slowly...

Thanks for ur support ladies, it means so much.
DF doesnt get it at all so its nice to know that i have ppl around me who care
xxx

:hug: hun It doesnt matter how far along you were, be kind to yourself & grieve your baby you have just lost. Fly free precious Angel xoxo

FWIW I still often think of my bubba I lost at 10 weeks way back in 2003. I'm sure XH never gave our baby a second thought.... some men just dont understand hun (not saying your DH is a bad person or anything, just that some men just dont understand the immediate bond a mother has with her baby :hug: )

:hug: thinking of you hun xx

How are you doing now, love?

I hope it's getting easier for you - as the hormones leave your system, it seems to. It did for me, anyway.

Try to get outside - it's advice a BBer gave me, and it was the best.

xxx