I want our evenings back!

I wondered if anyone has any suggestions to help? T is 20 months and S is 3 years, 2 months (or "a bit 3" as he puts it ;) ) and they sleep together in the same room. That can't change just yet, so we need to find a way to get them to sleep at night at the same time.

We tried putting them to bed at the same time, only to have one or both of them scream and keep each other awake, despite numerous cuddles and settling back in the bed. S obviously has a big-boy-bed now so he can get out whenever he wants, which he would, and climb into T's cot!

Then we tried having story time in the bedroom, and have me sit in there, reading and writing, while they went to sleep. That worked well, but it also meant that I was in their room for up to an hour while they settled.

Then we tried putting T to bed a little earlier, and have S stay up for another half hour, in the hopes that she would go to sleep in the meantime and then we could put him to bed afterwards. That's where we're at right now - she does go to sleep pretty much straight away, but then S doesn't want to go to bed, and so he's falling asleep on the loungeroom floor or on the couch, and one of us is carrying him to bed. Firstly, he's getting heavy and it's killing my back, and secondly, he's not just having quiet time and going to sleep, which was the plan. He's bouncing around the living room while M or I try to soothe him down, playing soft lullaby music, having low lighting, etc. It's not working.

Last night it was 8.30 before he finally dropped off to sleep. Considering our own bedtime is sometime between 9.30 and 10, and the children are up most mornings at 5, it's making for a VERY long day. Plus I would actually like to be able to have an adult conversation with my husband without being interrupted by little people! I know, selfish me!!

Today for the first time in ages I put them down to nap at the same time, and I hope by doing that we might be able to lead into the same bedtime. It's not that I mind if S stays up a little, because he has a good long sleep in the day, but he won't accept going to bed once he's out in the loungeroom with Mummy and Daddy, and he'll wake her if I try and enforce that (plus I've found bedtime preceded by kicking and screaming to be pretty non-conducive to sleep)

Any thoughts?

So it's sounding like S is the problem? Have you considered dropping S's sleep during the day and still keeping to the normal night time routine and putting S to bed 30mins later?
Our boys sleep in the same room and we had to drop DS2's day time sleep and put them to bed at different times to make it work. So DS2 goes to bed at 7pm and DS1 at 7:30pm.
We read their stories in a quiet place out of their bedroom. Then teeth, toilet and bed.

not sure if it would work but could you try putting S to bed frist... he seems to be the one causeing the wake up so if he goes to sleep first it might help??
Ignore me if i am wrong lol just throwing it out there!!

Thanks for your suggestions. We had another disrupted evening yesterday :( but then had a chat after S finally went to sleep (and you're right, it's his sleep rather than T's that's the issue), and wondered if perhaps he's reacting a bit to our stress. We have work/financial issues right now which is putting lots of pressure on us, and I'm sure S picks up on this. I wonder if we should perhaps just stick with the way things are right now and start on some changes when things have settled down for us (hopefully in a month or two). I still want to try and keep him calm and get him to settle, but maybe that just means a bit more me-time with him and some one-on-one stories. Limiting the day sleep for him might be a good plan also, thanks, Heather. Bobbie: unfortunately, S going to sleep first is a good theory, but in practice he is not interested! Hahaha! After all (according to him) he is the Big Brother... ah, you know how they are!