Highly emotional/sensitive child

hi guys

This post is mainly i need to debrief and maybe get some advice from you all.

Ok My eldest DD is 5 almost 6 is a few weeks and she is so highly emotional its not funny. She cries at the drop of the hat, so many things upset her. She stresses about things that a 5yr old shouldnt even worry about. She cant even explain to me whats wrong most of the time, when i ask her why is she upset or crying she says she doesnt know.
She talks alot and is very demanding of attention. She doesnt focus well and for school if she needs to do her indiviual reading assessment it mustbe done in the morning because by the afternoon she cant concentrate. She is easily distracted and is too busy worrying about what everyone else is doing.

I am lost how to parent her. I have tried spending one on one time with her, sitting down and talking to her, removing her from the situation etc but

any help?

Hugs hun!
have you considered her seeing someone? the last few years have been rough for you all.. a child physc or something along those line will be able to help lots with giving her some coping skills aswell as helping you with what she needs to be shown..

Hi Beatrix,

It sounded like you were describing my eldest DS who is 5 in July. I too worry about him as he is such a sensitive and highly anxious child, and he too worries about things that a child of his age shouldn't be. I don't know whether it is because he is the eldest he feels more responsibility for his brothers, or if it is just his personality. My DH is was diagnosed with panic attacks and suffers anxiety so I worry greatly.
To give you an examply the other day he started crying because his baby brother (who is 1) was looking at Lewis (DS2) but didn't look at him. That made him burst into tears. At swimming lessons if the teacher tells him he is doing something wrong in a firm manner he starts crying gets out of the pool and refuses to do rest of the lesson. He also gets distracted easily and always needs to know what is going on, listens in on adult conversations, has to be around adults most of the time incase he misses out on something.

Now to answer your questions I too am not sure if I'm parenting correctly, we try to give him a lot of praise, and acknowledge even the smallest of achievements as he seems to need the reassurance that he is doing well. Lots and lots of encouragement, and like you are doing lots of talking about how he feels, especially if something has been good or made him happy I really try and focus on that rather than any of his perceived negative things. e.g the other morning he was worried that one of his new kinder buddies mightn't want to play firefighters with him, I said to him well you can ask him to play with you, his answer, what if he says no? I honestly don't think he is ever going to be that confident kid that is the extovert of the group but I too just want him to believe in himself.
I think when he starts school I will talk with his teachers and get their assistance on how best to encourage him.

Good luck, and I wiill watch this thread in the hope that some other wise women may have some good advice.

Hi girls, there are lots of little people who fal under this category, as I am finding out! It's hard enough having a young person to teach all about life, let alone them having an extra set of 'issues' that make everyday living hard for them.

My eldest is just like this - highly sensitivr and extremely emotional. Soooooooooo time-consuming and exhausting. Love him to pieces, but it is just so difficult some days.

I have had a little bit of sucess with a book that I bought - aptly titled "The Highly Sensitive Child", by Elaine N Aron. I found i was being a better parent when i applied a lot of the principles in this book. I have it next to our bed to try and inspire me to read it and endeavour to try what i have read. It is a fabulous book, and I know i need to re-read it again as our little man is being a little hard to handle at the moment!

Good luck everyone - ours are special little people indeed!

Hi Little scottishboy,

Interesting you are reading that book, I just saw something on the web about it and was looking into buying it. Glad to hear that you have found it beneficial.

It is hard when you have such special people, in one way it is lovely beacuse my son as such a kind nature, but it is just his constant worry over things he shouldn't that concerns me most.

My sister was a highly sensitive child and a bit of a control freak. She would cry at anything and was obsessive about things...like only mummy touch the pram, don't look at me, wanted to wear the same clothes every day, she only ate certain foods.

Mum and dad ran with it, and just tried to accommodate her the best they could. She needed lots of reassurance and cuddles, but is now a confident 25year old with heaps of friends and is the life of the party. She is still a bit obsessive but mainly relaxed about life.

Mum found the constant crying tiring...and even as a teenager she was quick to cry, but is stronger now. I don't think schools are very well equipped to deal with children who need mote attention, which is sad. Can she get placed in a smaller class next year or a composite, so she doesn't have to be pushed ahead?

Hope you find a solution soon.

I have a feeling this will be me with my DS so very interested too see how others deal with their sensitive LO's

:hug:

Hugs all!

I am a fan of Elaine Aron and the Highly Sensitive Person paradigm. It's not perfect but it's a really helpful framework for understanding some people. Some libraries have some of her books, and there's quite a bit online about it all too. Also, don't forget you can get a referral to a psychologist from your GP and it will be much cheaper than going to one outright.

HTH