1st Trimester Worries - help!!!

I just found out I'm pg - got + hpt yesterday and also 4 days ago (af was due inbetween these dates). i have some queries / worries that may sound ridiculous but I've so longed for a baby and i'm just so nervous now it's finally happening!

1. I can figure out how far gone I am as last period was first proper one cos came off pill at Xmas (I know it was "proper" as I had real bad pains like i used to get pre-pill, and didn't get these with first few periods since coming off pill). How do I work it out? I'm pretty sure we conceived on cd20 but i don't know my cycle length or luteal phase. for my other cycles (post-pill) it was averaging at 32 / 33 days but not sure of l.p.). My last period was 5 weeks ago today but cos i don't think i ovulated till cd20 does this change things? plus, do you go by your last period or your conception (ovulation) date?

2. When can we start celebrating??!!! I cried when I first found out then suppressed my feelings incase it tempted fate, and we've still not celebrated or got really happy yet cos we're so nervous (I think I had 2 chemical pregnancies a year or so ago). But then, if we're going to lose it, I'd like to have at least enjoyed the experience for a little while, whereas at the moment i'm too scared to enjoy it!

3. What are the statistics for keeping the baby and going full term? I stopped smoking 3 months ago and have quit drinking and caffeine last weekend.

4. Does anyone else not dare to suck their belly in incase it squashes the uterus??! when i suck it in (to try and look slim, hehe) i get a funny feeling like when you've been doing crunchies, like your inner stomach muscles hurt, or like when you've got wind...? does this damage the baby?

5. does everyone get morning sickness and when does it start? i've had the sore / tender nipples and am very tired / headachy (but probably due to lack of caffeine more than anything, actually!)... plus have been getting those cramps everyone talks about!

6. IS it too soon to tell our family? I'd like their support incase anything goes wrong cos if we lost it they'll never know why we're so upset and moody!

sorry about all these questions, i've just been waiting for this for so long (well it seems like it anyway! only actually been 4 cycles!) but now it's happened i'm too nervous to celebrate!

neat xxx

Neat, I think all your fears are normal!! Firstly congratulations!!!
The way to calculate the due date is the first day of your last period. Dont' be too worried, you can have a dating scan or wait for 12 weeks and that ultrasound will tell the dates.
Also, it's up to you when to tell people. There's no gaurantee's, I told people at 4 weeks. Some choose to wait until 12 weeks, however there are no gaurantee's right up until you have bub, so I say enjoy and spread the word!! (Unless you were high risk for m/c in which case you might want to wait).
I had morning sickness from day dot, but it varies with different women, some dont' get it at all.
I didn't suck my belly in!! I felt that I shouldn't and it was kind of a relief not to!!!
good luck and have a great pregnancy xoxo

Congratulations on the bfp neat! :D
In answer to your questions...
1. The date used to date your pregnancy is the date of the first day of your last period so you would be 5 weeks now. Conception dates aren't used because many people don't know when they conceived, when they ovulated, or what their cycle length is. If there is any doubt about your dates tell your doctor and you can request a dating scan in the next couple of weeks ;)

2. I've lost two pregnancies in first tri myself so I understand your worry. It's very hard and really a personal decision for you and your partner to make...for me I feel like every pregnancy is a new little being in his/her own right, and deserves to be celebrated for however long they are here :)

3. There's lots of stats on the internet for miscarriage rates...but one statistic that was quoted to me when I was a nervous wreck with my daughter (by an OB) was that once a heartbeat is detected your chance of carrying the baby to term is about 95%. I found that reassuring.
Before a h/b is seen, the miscarriage rate generally is between one in four, and one in six, depending on who you ask.

4. You won't hurt your bub by sucking in your belly, he/she is very well protected right now. Just don't go doing crunches :D

5. Not everyone gets morning sickness. I have had it with both this pregnancy and my daughter and both times it started six weeks on the nose. That seems to be the common time for it to begin. With the two I lost I had no morning sickness. But in saying that, it's important to remember that MANY women have no m/s and carry perfectly healthy babies. Just doesn't seem to be the case for me!

6. It's hard to hide a pregnancy when you are sick and cranky for weeks on end. I found it easiest to tell the people closest to me as I would need them to know if anything happened. Friends, aquaintances and work colleagues waited until 13 weeks. Again, this is a very personal decision and depends alot on how you feel about everyone knowing your business. There is no right or wrong, just lots of different ways of breaking the news.

Good luck with your pregnancy, and wishing you a happy and healthy nine months!

Hi neat congratulations on your pregnancy!

I won't repeat what has already been said except to say if you want to tell people then go right ahead! It's nice to share the excitement of pregnancy with those close to you and as you said if something does happen to the baby then you would like the support of your family. Try to stay positive and enjoy this time.

Bon

THanks so much to all of you for your quick replies, they've really helped put my mind at rest :-) i do hope i am 5 wks pg cos that means next week it may have a heartbeat which apparently (i've been doing some research last night!) reduces the risk considerably. i'm going to register at the doctor's in our village (we're new here) and tell him i'm worried and would like a 6 wk scan next week-ish, and i think after that we'll tell our families :-D

we have a 10 month old dog (tibetan terrier) and wanted to get a companion so when i finally did get pg he'd have someone to play with and wouldn't hassle me when i'm trying to breastfeed etc, so last week we found a gorgeous puppy (lhasa apso) - which also helped take my mind off the 2ww! - and now we've found out we're pg it's good timing cos he'll be settled in and old enough to be left to his own devices by the time i start getting real big! we're picking him up on sunday (2 days) - can't wait! he'll help take my mind off any worries still floating around in my head!

so thanks again everyone for all your helpful advice and kind words - i'll keep you updated!!!

neat xxxxx

PS - just 1 more "worry" - when do you have to stop sleeping on your back and tummy? (ie when does it squash the fetus (i know mine's an embryo stil at the mo!) and reduce blood flow to the placenta)??

Neat
All sounds like normal worries to me.
A really good indication that you are doing something "wrong" are cramps or sickness. I know when I've been in a hot shower for too long cause I start to get dizzy and feel a bit sick. I also know when I have done too much exercise cause I get really crampy a few hours later.
Same with sleeping on your back/stomach. Just go with whats comfy. Your body will soon tell you when its time to sleep on your side (LHS is eventually better). I have known people to quasi sleepon on their stomachs til about 30 weeks, and I slept on my back alot even until I was about 35 weeks. Honestly, listen to your body, and hopefully all will be well.

I think that if you get to about 7-8 weeks, your chances of successfully carrying the baby full term are something like 95%. Its really only those first 2-3 weeks where if things are wrong, the baby can abort itself, and you are left with a loss. After this time its far less likely.

Tell your family when you are comfy. My first time I was 7w, the second I was 5w (and lost it at 11w :( ) and then this time I was 8w. all personal preference.

Congrats, and best wishes :D

Thanks Fi.

Sorry to hear that you lost one, I guess it doesn't make it any easier knowing it's nature way :-/ Well done on persevering and getting pg again though :-)

I'm assuming I'm 5 wks gone then, from what people have said, and when they do my 12 wk scan if they realise it's small for its size it probably means I'm a bit less gone, due to my longer cycle I guess...

I'm still getting slights cramps and funny feelings every now and then but I'm actually quite enjoying it cos apparently it's normal, so I just relax and think "ooh there goes my uterus stretching again!", hehe ;-)

i think i'll test again next week just to make sure i've not lost it, and then i'll try and get in to see my new doctor next week too :-)

thanks again guys :-D

Hi Neat!

I had to laugh at your post...I could have written all of that myself! I have been a nervous wreck for the last few days. I know I'm only just over 4 weeks pg but I want :ms: NOW! There's something reassuring in it, I think...makes the pg seem all the more real.

When are you going to the doctor to confirm your pg? I had a blood test done at 15DPO and my HCG level was 290. It was a relief to get a positive beta but I've still been doing HPT's daily to make sure I'm still pg! :cryinglaugh:

You have to come and join us in the January belly buddies thread! We definitely need some more yummie mummies in there ;)

I'm so happy for you because I can tell how much you wanted this baby. Please stop stressing, I know everything will be just fine!

Looking forward to sharing this wonderful wonderful journey with you!!!

Love
Goldilocks
-xxxooo-

ah bless you sweetie!congrats on your bfp too - so exciting isn't it?!my bloke laughs at me when i say i'm getting worried cos my boobs aren't tender today or my cramps aren't so bad or i daren't go to the loo incase...!!!! i'm either 5 weeks and 3 days pg (if you go by my last af) or 4 weeks and 4 days (if you go by when i think i o'd /conceived, cos i think that was cd20).

i've bought another hpt and am taking it tomorrow morning ...so nervous though incase i'm not pg anymore cos i know i'll be so devastated (i think it's worse having a bfp then losing it, than it is not having had a bfp yet... pretty sure i had 2 chemical pregnancies a year or so ago too, so 3rd time lucky hopefully :-)

plus it was only our 4th month of trying (seemed like 4 yrs though! i'm so impatient!) - how long did it take you goldilocks? i think the sooner you conceive the better your chances - fingers crossed :-/

so anyway, i'll let you know what my result is tomorrow and if it's still a bfp we're celebrating tomorrow night with a big ice cream sundae in a restaurant :-) then i'll try and book in to see the doc this week (not to confirm as i'll know, just to answer all my q's and book for 1st scan which i think is at 10 wks though i'd love one earlier to see the heartbeat - as we all would i'm sure!!). then we'll tell our families next week sometime i think :-)

when did you / are you telling your families goldilocks? (or anyone else!). i'd love to be part of the "yummy mummies" gang if you'll have me ;-)

neat xxx

Hey Neat!

Awwwww I can hear the excitement in your post...sounds like you're finally letting yourself get excited now :D It does take a while to sink in, doesn't it!

LOL Yes, my DH thinks I'm so 'cute' that I'm a paranoid freak now I'm pg :p I swear that my bb's have stopped growing (although they were tender last night so I was thrilled to bits about that!) I read the sticky about pg symptoms yesterday and that really put my mind at ease. Plus I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who's paranoid!

Are you a serial undies checker yet?? I swear, everytime I feel even the slightest moisture down there I rush off to the bathroom to check everything is ok! LOL

You've done really well only doing a couple of HPT's. I did 2 on the day I found out I was pg (in case the first one was faulty!) and have done one daily since then! So I now have a lovely collection of 6 sitting on my desk at home (all with dates written neatly on them) LOL I know it's sad but for me there is something so comforting in seeing those wonderful, beautiful two lines! I was so happy this morning because my test line was even darker than the control line. WOO HOO!!!

It's true, it's hard not to think you're going to lose it. I think I've only just started to feel more confident now. This is the first time I have EVER been pg so it's all new to me. I'm sure that it will be third time lucky for you, don't worry!!!

It didn't take you long to conceive! I went off the pill in February, in March I stuffed up my ovulation day so we completely missed that cycle, and April is when I fell. So I actually fell pg in our first real month of trying...I'm still shocked and delighted about that!

Yes, please let me know how you go with your HPT. I already know it's going to be another BFP though :dance: Oooooh, a big fat ice cream sundae sounds divine! You've earnt it hon, so enjoy!!! And btw, you can never have enough calcium whilst pg...well, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! LOL

I think I'll have a scan around 6-7wks. I can't wait to see that little heart beating away. Make sure you let us know when you're appointment is!

DH and I have already told our familes. There was no way that we were going to wait, it was just too exciting! LOL Everyone is over the moon and very very happy for us. My Mum already 'knew' I was pg, she had a very strong suspicion a few days after bubs was conceived!!! Good luck with telling your families...I know they'll be very happy for you both! Did you tell anyone that you were TTC? We kept that little secret to ourselves, didn't want the added pressure!

You must come and join us in the Jan belly buddies...it's soooo quiet in there at the moment! So you must be due about a week before me, is that right?

Hope you're enjoying every single minute of your pg. I certainly am! I've already told DH that I want a whole football team! LOL

Lots of love,
Goldilocks
-xxxooo-

moving over to jan belly buddies - see you over there with my news!!
neat xxx