Painful sex after childbirth

I'm embarrassed to say my husband and I only just recommenced having sex 6 months after the birth of our DD, for many reasons, both physical and emotional.:redface:
And it hurt.
I had a second-degree tear, but it took about 3 months to feel anywhere near normal again.
And upon closer inspection I found a small 'hole' towards the bottom of my stitches - like the skin has healed but there is a tiny tiny hole in the middle, only visible when the skin of my inner labia is 'stretched' between the fingers - saw a GP (woman) who said she hadn't seen that before, but it wasn't something that needed attending to and shouldn't cause any pain or problems.

Anyway, back to the pain. It was painful, mainly with deeper penetration.
What's the deal? What could be wrong? Will I need surgery?

I know, I need to see a doctor. Just looking for support from someone who has been through the 'painful sex after childbirth' thing. Doesn't seem to be very common - not after 6 months.
I just thought maybe it was because we'd waited so long.... so things felt tight again... or something.

I can't help you out on this one hun. Just wanted to offer a :hug: and hope you can get some answers soon. xx

Are you still BFing? I found sex painful too but it was related to BFing, and my nerves. We didn't try for months and when we did I found it too painful so we stopped. We would try occasionally but I was always nervous and it always hurt. When I got my period back at 14 months post birth I finally got my libido back and it didn't hurt anymore!

It is possible you have pain for other reasons but I wanted to share that with you. I had a second degree tear too but it never hurt while healing and seems to be fine.

Hi goddessofdawn, welcome to BB!

I found sex uncomfortable for a while after the delivery of both of my kids, particularly my DD. Her delivery was difficult - episiotomy, failed ventouse, finally a forceps delivery. I had an area of granulation tissue about halfway down the episiotomy incision - that's an area of tissue (about the size of a 5 cent piece in my case) which doesn't heal properly. Eventually, hmmm.... maybe 8 weeks post delivery, the area of granulation tissue had to be cauterized with silver nitrate. :o Oooooowwwwww!!!!

Anyway, it did fix the problem and the area eventually healed. BUT sex remained uncomfortable for several months, mostly due to pain in that area. It did eventually improve and ultimately sex felt like before I had a baby. :D

I recommend that you take it very slowly when you have sex, and ask your partner to be very gentle. Even if you feel like you are well lubricated, it might be worth using a synthetic lubricant such as KY. Make sure you are relaxed and 'in the mood'! And yep, see your doctor... maybe a different one this time!

Thank you everyone.

I really like this forum!

Well we tried again last night, and it was MUCH improved from last time. Still not 100%, but the vast improvement gives me hope.
Yes there was much KY 'warming liquid' in use!

Meow - yes I am still BFing. I had no idea that could make a difference. Interesting. Have no idea when I'll stop BFing, as DD can not take a bottle or sippy cup, and still wakes up for night feeds.

Oh my gosh. I totally understand how you are feeling.
My DS is nearly 3 months old and me and my DH still haven't DTD yet. I had 2nd degree tearing as well and I also have a small piece of skin that has not healed together. The doctor sewed it up but there was still a 1cm gap between the skin that was not sewn together, so he had to unpick it and start again.
It even stings when I pee and it is always so sore.
The doctor told me that I would be able to have sex but I just don't see how I can when it hurts so much without even having tried sex.

So glad that the second time wasn't so bad hun. I guess it will be sensitive in that area for a while.
Also I agree it is very interesting about BFing and DTD.

My son didn't stop BFing till he was 2. At 14 months he dropped to about 4 feeds in 24 hours and started having some cow's milk from a cup. It'll happen :)

SO glad to hear things were better. I found slowly, slowly to start and not fearing it will always hurt really helped. It's like losing your virginity again!