Continually getting out of bed - for about an HOUR EACH TIME HE GOES TO SLEEP!!!

Hi lovely ladies

Well, I need HELP/ADVICE/SOLUTIONS etc!!! I have recently returned from Tresillian sleep school after my son just would NOT sleep, and would spend so long crying it was making us both emotional wrecks, (see post in April 2010). We have been out of Tresillian for almost 4 weeks now, and the plan they came up with in there was to take DS out of cot and put into a toddler bed (he will be 2 in 3 weeks) so I thought that was a good idea.

It certainly stopped the hysterically crying that we had before going to Tresillian, but it has been replaced with another thing, the continual getting out of bed! It doesn't seem to matter what I do, but he gets out of bed for at least an hour during the daytime and an hour at night time before he gives in and stays in the bed. I am trying to persist with the constant putting him back to bed, but I end up getting so frustrated at him for not doing what I'm asking that it gets me worked up and then I think he feeds off that and we go around and around in circles!

I was wondering if anyone else had a similar experience with their toddler constantly getting out of bed and how they overcame it? I am just going to have to continue in the mean time, I have tried to make his bed a special place with a special blanket and also tried doing a sticker chart for him to get stickers when he stays in bed and doesn't get out, but it isn't working. However at grandparents house, and daycare mum's house, he goes to bed during day without ever getting up once, so I know he can do it, he's just playing me, how do I get him to stop??????

HELP!!! :wall::wall::wall::wall::wall::wall:

DD1 did this for ages when first going into a beg bed. (We put her in a big bed at 15months). I think some of it was the novelty that she could get in and out of the bed. Allot of it is perserverance. Doing/saying the same thing everytime we went in there (it took a bit to get DH to do the same as I do). Also having a regualr routine before bedtime... here it's lunch, 1 ep of Hi 5 then bed at night it's dinner, bath, books (or a wiggles show depending of what DH and I have on) then bed. It took ages but it seems to be working. And the same as your DS, DD would go to bed no problems everywhere else.

I know this probably isn't helping you much or what you wanted to hear. There isn't any quick fix solution (or not that i've found anyway...)
GL babe. Hope it settles for you soon. xxx

Thanks for the reply, sometimes you think you are the only one floating around out here in mother-hood-land who is dealing with this problem. None of my girlfriends are experiencing this problem at all, one friend who I asked when I asked "how do you get your daughter to stay in bed" simply replied, "she knows she's not allowed out!", well yes DS also knows he's not allowed out, doesn't seem to stop him anyway!!

Anyway, going to try and stick with it, sometimes it seems so hard when you are on your own (DH on deployment overseas till christmas, so its just us 2 till then) and I would like to get some sleep before DH comes home!

Just keep perservering and putting him back to bed back to bed back to bed... just quickly when you were returning DD to bed did you do the no-contact no-talking Supernanny thing, or the firm voice "Back to Bed" thing? Tresillian went with the firm voice, but not sure if its working for me as I seem to get worked up when I talk to him , plus they suggested taking the dummy off him and closing the door till he figured out that I meant what I said... that seemed to be working in Tresillian but doesn't seem to be working so well since getting home, it makes a huge difference to have someone standing with you giving you moral support during these issues!

Thanks for your reply...

DD did this too when she went into a big bed. After about a week of it, I'd been out one night and came home at half 9 to a house in pitch black - DH had had enough of her getting out, that he turned all the lights and tv off and just sat outside her door! We had to resort to this a few times, but then she did it on the night Greys was on so I missed most of it! anyway, i said we needed to find a better way - just by chance, one night, we did the books before the bath for some reason and then we sat at the table with DD, gave her a cup of milk and we had a coffee, when it came for bed, she went to sleep first time with no getting up and no house in darkness! Don't know whether it was the extra attention that she got just before bedtime that helped or what. Since DS came along, we don't tend to sit at the table as its his last feed time too, but she''l sit and have her milk and tehn have a special cuddle with DH and she still goes happily (most nights anyway!)

My DS was doing this, it was really draining and would last for up to two long hours of growling, begging, bribing etc and he still wouldn't stay in.

Now what I do is sit in there with him until he is asleep. It usually takes about 20 minutes, a bit of a pain but a lot better than what we had. The idea is to gradually move away from the bed and eventually out the door, or to start going out for little jobs eg just have to go to the toilet/check on the baby etc until he will go to sleep by himself.

Good luck, I feel your pain.

DS was doing this recently at his day sleep. I told him the other day that there is a magical birdie sleeping under his pillow and if he doesn't lie down, it will fly away. It worked! DH laughed when I told him about it, but it works so I'm running with it! When DS wakes up from his nap, he tells me the bird flew away, lol.

Arte, I've seen supernanny doing a similar thing, hopefully you get some progression with it over time.

Our DD likes to have the hallway light on & the door left open a crack. She wasn't getting up (she's still in her cot LOL) but a couple of times when she's been mucking around I have threatened to shut the door if she doesn't lie down and be quiet. Each time it has taken a couple of goes of the door being shut (I go in after 5-10 min and give her another chance to earn having the door open) and she's settled down pretty quickly.

I still have to sit with DS (22 months old)- i sit on the end of his bed- and he tries to get up and he jumps around tries to do head stands, head butts the wall and mucks around and i just literally pick him lay him down and say its time to lay down and go to sleep. Occassionally i can just say lay down and he will, but usually i still have to physically lay him down.

Bed time can still take up to an hour or so including book time. I have one rule though- once he is in bed with his books- he isnt allowed out. This week i have started being a bit more strict and when he starts to muck around at book time- i give him three warnings and say if he doesnt sit down for his books they go "away" (our new thing- things go away when DS is naughty- its working too) the light goes out and its time to lay down. He usually tests it, so far i have done it twice and he wasnt happy the first time but lay there and went to sleep, and the second time he kept mucking around in the dark, so it was hard to find him when he got up lol but i stuck to it and just kept laying him down saying its time to lay down and go to sleep. Eventually he went to sleep.

Good luck- i will be keeping an eye on this thread for ideas when i need to be able to leave the room!!

I am about to have another baby any week now- and i have no idea how i am going to be doing this with a new born- i havent ever even attempted to leave the room before he is asleep coz i know he will be straight up and out of bed- so i will be having fun with that soon!!

This is what we do with DD & it is effective the majority of the time.

Dinner
Bath/Shower
Milk
Give her a 5 min warning that it is coming up to bedtime
Brush teeth
Read a book
Tummy rubs (she likes her tummy & back being rubbed) with the lights out

This is the evening 'routine' we follow unless we are out & about.

If she gets up/out of bed we ask her what is wrong (9/10 she just wants one final cuddle) then take her back to bed
If she gets up again we tell her we are taking her back to bed then after that if she gets up any other times we don't talk to her & just take her back to bed.

I guess in a nutshell, it is consistency & persistence. I think your DS is testing you & the novelty that he can get in & out of his bed will wear off (DD was the same). Just don't lose your cool and this will most probably fuel his behaviour. Just remember it would have been easier with the support at Tweedle (they are not emotionally involved). GL