Young single female considering sperm donation

Hi All,

Newbie here! Am hoping to gain some knowledge here regarding sperm donations. I'm a soon to be 28 year old single girl who over the past few weeks have gone baby crazy! I always wanted kids when I was younger but over the last few years have been totally anti kids. Some recent family issues have once again spurred on my want for a baby and it seems the universe is shoving them in my face haha! Only problem is I'm single. I've been single for 4 years and don't even have anyone on the horizon. I do FIFO work so am financially stable and as much as I'd love to raise a child with a loving and doting father...I'm considering the fact that may not happen and am starting to explore my options.

I know a lot of people will say I'm only 28 and have years ahead of me but no-one knows what might happen around the corner and I'd like to start researching now. Nothing to say in 2 years I wont be blissfully happy and married, which would be awesome but my want for a child seems to be so strong.

Any thoughts, opinions or advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks!

.. well I say go for it! I have no knowledge in the area of sperm donors, but you shouldnt have to have a partner in order to have children!
I'd imagine people would tell you that you have plenty of time still, but you know.. what if you dont and your body wont allow it after 30?
So in my opinion.. I say do what you want, as long as you dont think you will regret it. Goodluck :hug:

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Subigirl,

If this is what is in your heart then I would suggest going down the donor path sooner rather than later, particularly if you intend using an IVF clinic. Check the local laws of your state concerning single parenting - some states are more flexible than others. Be aware that in some states also there is a shortage of donors, so you may be placed on a waiting list (if you use the IVF clinic option). If this seems too long you could consider finding your own donor. The only other option is home insemination, however I have never used this process so I can't really advise you.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Hi Laura,
I'm single and currently pregnant through IVF. I did the home insemination thing with a known donor for a year before going to IVF (which took a year as well). I'm 37 so time was definately starting to get against me but I'm happy to chat if you want to know more about the process and just how to help get yourself to feel okay with the decision to go it alone.

Lori

Hi SubiGirl,

I totally understand your need and want for a child but cos you ask for opinions here is mine. I am not in your boots and I am not at all judging you and in the end of the day it is absolutely your decision but.....I think it couldn't hurt to wait. I am not saying forever but perhaps a year or more. Mr Right or the right partner to share this massive and wonderful responsiblity could just be around the corner. Yes you are young but so is 30, 35, 38....I do not question the love you would have for your little one but the decisions you make now will affect your future and to share this with a supportive and wonderful partner could just be one more year away:) I applaud all women who do this for themselves and be the sole parent voluntarily and others not always voluntarily but sometimes the most important question you need to ask is " Am i doing this for the absolute right reasons and will this be the best outcome for my child physically, mentally and emotionally?." Good luck with your decisions and keep exploring your options.x

Laura1981,

the OP says 'any thoughts, opinions or advice would be much appreciated'.

Laura, I have an opinion and as much right as you. Maybe there is no partner around now but who says she can't share this with a partner any time soon. Wow no need to be so aggressive and defensive.....I made it clear I was not here to judge anyone. And by the way...I was single once too so I know how it feels to want something bad no matter what age and situation but I have life experience and know I found it easier to have a family with my partner so was just sharing my opinion which the thread was suggesting!

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yes but its not appreciated for people to tell me or any other woman to wait because they don't have a clue what its like to suffering with this situation especially when theres no partner around.

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Laura, I think it's fine for you to say that you don't want someone telling YOU to wait, but curlygirly was addressing the OP. She was not directly addressing you. I believe it is unfair of you to criticise her contribution when she was merely providing her opinion- which is what the OP asked for.

The simple fact is that deciding to have a child affects both you and the child, and it is a good idea to consider all the factors and whether or not it will be the best option for both. One of my best friends had a child through this method and while she knew it would be a tough slog, I don't think she had any idea of the complex issues that would come about once the child was born. If some of the ladies on this forum are here to offer some advice from either a two-parent or single parent standpoint, then it certainly can't hurt to take on all that advice prior to making the biggest decision you will ever make. It is not judgement, it is simply offering a different perspective.

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