Caesarean vs VB...baby no.2

Hi guys,so dont really know where to start but here goes-

Im 36wks pg with bub no.2 DD is 2 1/2 and was a VB. I had high BP was induced at 9am she was born at 12.30pm. No time for any pain relief and ended up with a 3rd degree tear :( Although I had the tearing I recovered very well and have never had any problems. Didnt give it a second though this time round and was happy to do VB again untill I started going to the clinic (Im going public after weighting the whole public vs private thing up lol!) and was asked everytime how bowel movements and urine (?) movements were. Each time I said it was all great with no probs they all seemed quiet surprised! This got me thinking and they had mentioned a csection but I thought it was up to the doctor but found out last week its up to me! So now Im totally confused and would love to hear your feedback.
My main concern is recovery after with having a toddler. My DH has 4/5wks off work so will be able to help but Im concerned I wont be able to pick her up or jump in bed with her (incase its painful to get out!) and just doing general day to day things. Also would like to know risks involed for baby and me.
Have my next appointment tomorrow so will be asking lots of questions but would love to hear from you to! :)

Thanks in advance!

I would ask them more questions to clarify why they are mentioning a c-section. I know my SIL had 4th degree tearing and they told her she can never give birth naturally again because she was a real mess and her recovery was very complicated. I don't know a whole lot about tearing - I had a second degree tear with DD1 but didn't tear at all with DS (I felt normal the day after he was born - no pain or anything) and I had a c-section with DD2 and my recovery was long and difficult.

From personal experience, I would recommend doing everything possible to avoid a c-section because I think VB are a much easier recovery, but since you had complications with your first, I would try and collect as much info from the ob as possible to help make the decision.

I would find out the risks of having a VB after a third degree tear, are they recommending a c/section to you based on your own individual medical history or because it is standard procedure, write down anything you can think of and talk to them about it. Get them to talk you through a c/s too. It might help you get some info and if you decide to go down that path you can be a little more prepared for it.

I don't know about severe tearing, but it is common in second and subsequent births for tearing to not be as severe - often tearing happens severely when births are quick, but there are things you can do to prepare your body and minimise the risk of tearing. I would look at those things too.

Good luck with everything. I hope you can find an ob or midwife to sit with you and talk through your options in detail so you can make an informed choice.

Hi hun,
congratulations on your pregnancy...not long to go now!

I will start by saying I have no experience with a 3rd degree tear.... I had a 2nd degree tear with my last bub & like you found my recovery very quick & easy.
I had an emergency CS with my third baby and the recovery is indeed a whole different kettle of fish! however every woman is different. Some heal faster than others & some find themselves more limited than others afterwards.

Generally speaking vaginal birth is safer for mum & bub, beneficial to baby as well to actually go through labour, they get all the hormones, and the contractions and passage through the birth canal is beneficial to them as well, and they are less likely to have breathing difficulties etc.

Having said that I know there are women who have done their homework & made a decision to have a CS because it is going to be the best & safest option for them.

I your instance I would be wondering in what position you gave birth & whether better positioning next time could make you less likely to tear?
There is a thread on here somewhere about tearing, if I can find it I will come back & post the link. It might also be good to go over your notes form your last labour with a midwife, if possible.

I think the fact that they have suggested but not pushed a CS would seem to me like a VB is quite reasonable IYKWIM? But it would be a good idea to ask lots of questions anyway :)
Good luck at your appt.

Having had both a c sect and a natural birth with a tear I would still prefer a natural birth. You recover so much faster, you can drive and still give your toddler cuddles and pick them up. With a c sect you gave muscles to heal and it's harder to get around. Who knows you may nor even tear this time.

I had a CS with my first bub and a VB with my second. There were many reasons I wanted the VB but high on the list was recovery. My DS was just 18 months old when my DD was born and I knew still being able to pick him up and be a "normal" Mummy was what I wanted to do. He needed to feel included and have extra cuddles after his little sister joined us and not being to pick him up, get him out of his cot etc was not what I wanted. If you recovered well the fist time and had no ongoing probs if I were you I would go for the VB again.

Good luck xx

If your recovery from your 3rd degree tear was pretty good, and you had no major issues with bladder or bowel incontinence, then it surprises me why they seem to be keeping on about it. Please don't let what they are saying make you doubt yourself and your ability to have a successful VB. FWIW my nan had a 4th degree tear (needed to be knocked out for emergency surgery to repair it), but went on to have 2 more vaginal births with no or little tearing.
Good luck with your decision :hug: