DD being violent towards DS - what to do?

DD (just turned 2) coped really well with the arrival of DS, but just recently, she's started to get a little violent at times, for example, he'll be in his bouncer on the floor and she'll just go over and slap him on the head for no reason, other times, she'll throw her toys at him (last night her dolly car seat was dropped on top of him). Now if its toys, and if I see what she's about to do, then I'll give her a warning that she'll lose the toy if she throws it. She's also tried to stand on him, but thats DH's fault as when they are playing, he'll let her stand on him, so I've told him he's got to stop.
But I don't know what to do about the hitting. Last night, the first time, I said no, 2nd time gave her a warning and then the third time, I put her against the wall in the hallway for time-out. Each time she just laughed at me. She won't stand in timeout so I have to stand there and hold her, and she turns on her cuteness, which I ignore, but then she starts laughing. I tried to explain to her that she shouldn't hurt DS because its not very nice, and I either get a blank stare or a laugh.

WTD?

DS1 (23 months) can be very full on with DS2 (5 months nearly), cuddles him by lieing on him or leans down to kiss him on floor but puts hand on his belly or chest. He also throws stuff at him, or wants him to take a toy and once DS2 grasps it he yanks it off him again.

We tell DS1 off and have taken things off him, but he doesnt seem to comprehend that toy gone because he chucked it. I have also put him in his cot for 2 mins as he wont sit in a corner or on a specific chair, but he just screams the whole time and when I take him out, I explain why he was there etc but maybe too young to understand.

Good luck its hard work

Hmm that's hard, what about asking DD if she would like it if you were to throw a toy at her or hit her? When she says no that would hurt, you can tell her not to do it to DS? A friend of mine does that and it's worked. HTH!

It sounds like it could be some frustration from jealousy. Have you tried asking her if she feels angry and why? Even at that age some kids can express their feelings well.

If she is upset at the time you spend with DS, she is probably wanting some attention, and she is getting it by being told off, so she is actually being rewarded for the behaviour. Perhaps instead of negative reinforcement, you could try praising her and rewarding her for good behaviour. Perhaps if she is gentle with DS, or goes a while without hitting him you could praise her and read her a book or something, so that she is getting attention for good behaviour rather than bad?

Just an idea but it might be helpful. I well remember the days of 2 under 2 or thereabouts and it sure isn't an easy time!! :hug: It does get easier though.

I know at times that it is an attention thing, but at others, its def not - for example, the other night, DS was lying on the floor and I had been sat at the little table with DD for ages playing with the playdough with her, and 5mins later, she just walked up to him and hit him.

MR - I'm not sure she's got the language yet for me to talk to her about how she is feeling, but I'll give it a go - anything's worth a shot.

Feeb - i don't think DD has got the link between throwing toys = toys gone either. At least I'm not the only ones!!

Littlebear - I think she's still a little young for that, but I'll def try it in future!