My midwife makes me CRAZY!

I just wanted to vent a little bit about my midwife this time around. The one I had for my two previous babies shattered her ankle and can't work. :( This one is relatively new to the job (not that that's such a bad thing) and I just don't click with her at all. She makes me crazy.

At my first appointment, it took her about 15-20 minutes to get over the fact that we didn't have a definite due date. I was breastfeeding, and my cycles were not regular. I had two ultrasounds, which gave two different dates. My guess for a due date was right about in the middle of the two. The dates were about 1 week apart. NOT A BIG DEAL! But to her it really was. She didn't know what to write on the form, and it took forever for her to come to a conclusion. Skip forward to my next appointment, and she's at it again. Still trying to pick a date. She said, "Well, you said you were sure of your last period date, so maybe we should just go with that." Yes, I am sure of my period date, but it is pretty much MEANINGLESS because I was breastfeeding, and my cycles were all over the map! Seriously lady, let's just pick a date, and go with it. It's a matter of a couple days! She said "Well, I don't want to leave the baby in too long." I said, "Well, I've only gone over by 1 day, with two of my babies, and the other two were 1 week and 2 weeks early. I think we'll be fine." And again, the difference in dates is ONE WEEK.

At my first appointment, she asked why I had a hospital birth, when I was planning a homebirth.
I said "Because I was GBS positive, and had to have IV antibiotics. They let me re-swab 1 week after my first test, to give me a second chance at the homebirth, but it was still positive, and I went into labour that afternoon."
She said "Why did they let you re-swab? GBS has a 6 week cycle, so you would still have been positive."
I said "Yes, but I was treating it homeopathically, and besides, you don't know where you are in the 6 week cycle when you do the test. You might be almost at the end anyways."
She said "No, it's 6 weeks from when you take the test." :doh:

Next appointment - "So, why did you deliver at the hospital?"
"Because I was GBS positive."
Next appointment - "Why did you deliver at the hospital? Oh right, you had a long pre-labour."
"No, because I was GBS positive." :wall:

Discussing the gestational diabetes test at my last visit:
She goes through all the risk factors, and basically, all the way around, I'm low risk. The previous tests have shown virtually no reaction at all to the sugar drink. You wouldn't even know I had it. My body handles it without difficulty. I'm not obese. My babies have all been 7.5 lb or smaller, etc.
So, I said, "I think I'm going to pass on the test this time around."
She said, "Well, I've only had one person who declined the test, and they had a still-birth at 35 weeks. I think she really wished she'd had the test after that." :o
I said "Well, I believe I'm quite low-risk, and I'm going to pass."
She said "So long as you know the risks - about seizures in newborns, and stuff like that."

I can hardly wait to tell her that I'm considering skipping the GBS test. :rolleyes:

I'm still hoping and hoping that my previous midwife will be able to return to work sometime soon! They said I would be put back with her if she was able to return. I feel like I won't even want to call this one when I go into labour. Maybe I'd better get DH to read a few more birthing books.... :) Just kidding.

Anyways, thanks for listening to my little pout. Our local midwifery practice is overworked currently, so there's no possibility for switching caregivers. I'll just have to suck it up and make the best of it, I think.

I hear you hon. The ONLY midwife I had who put me at ease was one who was about 60 and had been around for ever.
The rest (all young ones) were so busy making sure we were spot on with our percentles and were meeting all of our milestones (to the minute) that all they did was stress me the hell out.
LOL, i am happy to tyick with my GP and stay away from the midwifes/Child health nurses. They are bossy LOL

I found this with the "new" midwives too. When I went to the birth centre I would see the team of midwives so a different one every time. The old midwives were always awesome and knowledgeable and trusting of the birth process. But one of the young midwives I saw was so stuck on hospital rules and no trust in birth she started freaking me out about what would happen to my labour with her there. Lucky for me I got one of the old ones on the day.

I really hope you can get some better support!

omg that was infuriating me just reading it!! :hug:

:doh: How incredibly frustrating.

:o at her telling you that "Well, I've only had one person who declined the test, and they had a still-birth at 35 weeks. I think she really wished she'd had the test after that." Don't even get me started on the stupidity and insensitivity laced around that statement. Grr!

I'm not sure I'd want to ring her if I was in labour either.

I hope something changes and you can have your other midwife back or a different entirely.

how annoying! I think you did well though...I think I would have ended up yelling at her! Hopefully it's just a lack of experience in 'real life' situations and she will get better, and maybe not be quite so anal retentive about a date! Lol

:hug::hug:I really hope your old midwife heals up soon and becomes available

This new one sounds incompetent. I wouldn't want her near me during a birth.

I know you said there's no chance of switching, but is there someone you can talk to about how inexperienced she is? She sounds like she needs more training time.

:o Wow, that does not sound good. Really hope your other midwife is back on her feet very soon

Thanks for the sympathies ladies. :) I really do wish I could switch, but it's just not an option right now. They were short-handed before, and now with one less midwife on staff, there's just no room to switch - I barely made it in! This midwife has been qualified for 4 years, or so, I think. She is actually the most experienced one in the local practice currently. There's another one who I've visited with a couple times, who has been qualified for less time, but seems much more confident and competent. I'd rather be with her, I think, but she's on vacation when I am due. The one I have now was there when I was delivering my third baby, at home. She attended that birth as my secondary midwife, and was fine in that role. Very calm and organized according to DH. (I wasn't paying attention at that point!) I think she probably will be fine when it comes to the actual birth part. I might wait to call her though, just because she irritates me.....

About the due date - I do think it's important to get the best guess at a date, but here's the thing - The first ultrasound (at 7 weeks) said October 5 or 6. The second (at 14 weeks) said September 28. My guess, before any ultrasounds, was October 2 or so. I figured it would be best to go with something like October 2 on my paperwork, and be right in the middle, likely only out 3-4 days one way or the other. She picked September 28. That's fine with me, and I am measuring right about there, (I do always measure on track - I know not everyone does, and so that's not a reliable way of figuring your dates!) but I wish she could just leave it now! We made a decision with the information we had, and lets go with it!

Anyways, I think we will be fine in the end. I'll just have to try to be patient with her, and hope that my old midwife is able to come back sometime soon! There was talk of her retiring..... :(

having a crap care provider can mean a not so nice birth.
if she isnt trusting you now... i really dont think you would want her in your birth space.

perhaps you need to have a decent conversation with her about it all. and see from there

OMG that's so silly, ur midwife seems unexperianced and trying to do what she has learnt.. I too am unsure of my dates, as I only had 1 period after DD was born, so I have 2 due dates my LMP date - 25th July and my date scan date 9th August.... My midwife is stoked as if I go early as I have a 7wk window (I could go 3wks before the 25th July and 2 weeks over from the 9th August as technically they are my 'due dates'... Awesome.

Also I was never questioned about not wanting a glucos test or the gbs test.... Actually I'm not having any blood tests, my choice and they have to deal with it...