We both end up in tears...what do I do

Our beautiful 5 week old son sleeps about six hours through the night but during the day just naps between feeds & he does that on me. If I put him down in his bassinett he wakes and cries.

I can't leave him to cry, it breaks my heart to hear him upset. I pick him up, cuddle him to settle him and wait until his breath is calm, put him back in the bassinett, rock him or pat him (whatever I think he needs...sometimes I just put my hand on his chest & stand there with him), as soon as I move away he cries or cries within five minutes.

After a few times of trying to settle I am to upset to continue and cuddle him until he is asleep but often by the time this happens he is ready to feed again so he doesn't get to sleep & the cycle begins over again.

He doesn't always stop crying when I pick him up & when he cries a lot in a day I end up in tears too. I just feel like I am not taking good care of him and he is unhappy. If someone else takes him (like Daddy when he comes home or a friend if they come to visit) he stops crying.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get him to sleep and reduce the tears?

During the day I wrap him to sleep but overnight he sleeps in a sleeping bag.

:hug:
It's a hard time when you're still finding your feet in the early days. You know why he cries with you and not others? It's because he feels safe and secure with you - safe enough to let it all out. Believe it or not it's a good sign of hte strength of the bond between you and the good job you're doing.

Do you have a sling or some sort of carrier? They are an absolute life-saver in the early days. Many fussy babies will happily sleep in the sling, leaving you free to do thinsg (or rest yourself). You may find he gets a better sleep that way and will be less overtired. We used our hug-a-bub a lot in the first few months. It's fantatic - very comfy for bubs, very comfy to wear (though admitedly it can take a little time to get the hang of putting it on) - and allowed our son to sleep really well while leaving me hands free to do things aroundthe house (or just lie back and relax on the couch).

The wanting to feed & be held all the time is very common in young babies. It's fine to just go with it - they grow out of it.

All the best~~

He is so new to the world, the little guy is still adjusting. :) Have you tried sleeping somewhere else? Some things that worked for me were going for a walk in the pram at sleep time, my girls both love sleeping in the pram, or a HAB/Close carrier or similar wrap carrier was also great, my girls both loved sleeping in that.
Sometimes a bath before sleep helps too.

And one other thing. Maybe he doesn't like the wrapping? If he sleeps 6 hours overnight in a sleeping bag, maybe try the bag during the day too? :dunno: Might be worth a shot.

The first few moths are such a challenging time while you are working each other out. Hang in there, it does get easier. :hug:

I am sure you are taking wonderful care of him. :hug: The warmth and care you have for him comes across in your post, you are doing a great job. ok? x

Thank you for your kind responses. It is sure the hardest & best job I have ever had....if you can call it a job!

I have a carrier but it is like a Baby Bjorn but Fisher Price brand (someone gave it to us). It is good to take him out when walking but no good around the house. I am going to look at slings on the weekend - I think I definitely need one just to give me some freedom.

We like to go walking with the pram but it doesn't always settle him & this week it has been raining a lot... don't like walking in my area in the wet as when I was pregnant I slipped over twice (very hilly & no footpaths).

I keep in mind that he is only 39 days old - that is not very much time to work out what is going on in this new world he is a part of.

Check out the wrap style carriers. They hold the baby close and make them feel cosy supported and close to mum, they also leave you hands free, i found i didn't have as much freedom with a sling.

I suggest a sling as well. DD1 was exactly the same so with DD2 we kept her in a sling for the first 12 weeks or so except at night and she was much more settled. I used to also have a nap during the day with her on my bed. I would put pillows around her in the bed and then sleep with my hand resting on her tummy. We both got really good sleeps and I wasn't worried about her ending up with a pillow on her head or under the blankets or me squashing her.

Hope you have more luck :hug:

Yep - it's a job alright. Full-time in a 24-7, forever way.
Yeah, a wrap-type carrier is great if you want your hands free to do things.