Should i feel guilty weaning?

Hi ladies,

Just a quick question that i need some support for.

I have been mulling over weaning my nearly 4 month old son Adrian and would like some insight.

You see my DH is on a major health kick ATM and in the last week has lost nearly 2 kilos. I have gone to the gym a few times and to a few Zumba classes with my mum, not too mention eating a lot less calories since we've made a vow to not eat packaged or most food with artificial preservatives which by default also means less calories. I didnt put on any weight during pregnancy and infact was 2 kilos lighter AFTER being pregnant but i'm still in the overweight range and have been not 100% happy with my fitness for a while now. So i would like to join my husband on his weight loss journey. I am currently 84kgs and 5'7".

The problem is, even after only a fortnight of gyming and eating better i have noticed a significant decrease in my milk production. I usually enjoy feeding Adrian but he often has times where feeding is a huge mission. I have very large breasts and have always had to feed him football style as it is too awkward the normal way. Now he is getting longer he pushes against the back of the chair when i feed him and pulls on my nipples painfully, i can only feed him at home or at a relos places as i basically have to get half undressed to get good attachment, plus use pillows, so feeding in public is way to uncomfortable, awkward and embarrassing. He has also taken to fussing so much with the kicking and such that he now swallows a lot of air and so it is a constant battle of feed/burp, feed/burp, feed/burp. So often when i feed him, especially at night, i cant help thinking that it would be much easier to just bottle feed him.

I would love to be able to do proper exercise without having to worry and feel guilty about running out of milk, plus, i figure i can probably lose a significant amount of weight while still on leave until october, since i prob wont have much time or energy after i return to work. I have been breastfeeding 90% of the time (sometimes have to give top up bottles) and for nearly 4 months now.

Is it selfish of me to want to stop breastfeeding and have my body back to myself?

I'm guessing that you haven't lowered your milk production at all - Adrian has just increased his milk desires! This happens to many Mums of 4-month-oldish babies - even those who have previously had oversupply problems start to think that they haven't enough milk. You should be feeling emptier and he should be taking much less time to feed. That's part of the system settling down.

You can exercise happily (get a decent bra fitting though!), eat healthily, and still make enough milk - your milk producton at this point is driven by his sucking, and your body will, if it needs to, burn fat to make milk - which should help with the weight loss.
You may need to rinse off between gym and feeding bub - the sweaty taste can put them off a bit

Now that you have a bigger stronger bub you may want to try just laying him across your lap football style and leaning forwards - there is some advantage to very large breasts! And at night try lying on your side and lying him on his side - after a bit of practise you will probably be able to attach and doze off!!
Good luck.

Hun, it is totally normal to want to feel good about yourself :hug: Most of us feel a bit out of sorts when we feel like we need to be fitter or lighter. And there is absolutely no need to feel guilty about making decisions that are right for you and your family. :hug:

One thing it might help you to know though, is that neither exercise or dieting actually decrease milk supply. The only reason why your health regime might be affecting your supply is if you are not feeding as often as your little man wants. However, your little man is now at the age where many babies go through a fussy phase, fidgeting at the breast and pulling off. If you search back through the forums you will see a large number of threads about feeding fussiness at the 3 or 4 month mark. It is really, really common, regardless of whether the baby is breastfed or bottle fed. So your little one sounds very normal to me! It can be a trying time for mums, so it's not all good news I guess, but it might help you to know that you don't need to choose between losing weight and breastfeeding - you can do both if you like!!

When dieting, the main consideration is to make sure you are getting enough calories and nutrients. You need more calories while breastfeeding than otherwise, and it is always important to have a good intake of minerals and vitamins. From your post it sounds like you have this well under control already! Sometimes breastfeeding mums find that their baby doesn't like to feed straight after mum has exercised, so in this case you could try showering before feeding and that should help.

With the fussy feeding, sometimes mums find that feeding in a quiet, darkened room whenever possible helps. Other times feeding in a relaxed setting like a bath can help, and feeds generally go better when the baby is sleepy. Wearing a bright necklace that your DS can play with while feeding can often help also as it keeps the baby focused on you for a bit longer. If he just doesn't want to feed however, you can try waiting a bit and trying later. Babies at that age are often very fast feeders - many of them can actually get enough milk to keep them going in a just couple of minutes, so they don't starve. As long as he is having 5 or more very wet nappies in 24 hours he is getting enough milk and you can relax.

Enjoy the new you hun!!

I was going to say the same as MR - Fussy stage! DS did this too. It sucks, but you can work around it.
It's not selfish to want things for yourself, but what you want isn't necessarily incompatible with breastfeeding. It's just a matter of finding a compromise in regards to the how and where you feed.
How much feeding in public do you usually need to do? Maybe you can work around it and try to fit more feeds in at home and private places. DS would only feed at home, in a darkened room between 4-9 months. The only time he'd feed when we were out was when he was due for a nap. Otherwise I just didn't bother - there really was no point trying cause he'd be on and off and wouldn't really feed. He also started feeding much, much quicker all of a sudden at this age.
At the end of the day, it's really up to you to decide what's right for your baby. :hug:

Hi, there,
good news - you can get fit and lose weight without having to stop breastfeeding. Excercise doesn't reduce milk supply. It's a simple recipe - the more you feed, the more milk you make. By 4 mnths your body is so efficient at the process that most women find their breasts just feel pretty soft and normal all the time - not full like they might have felt previously - but they are still making milk fine.
Even elite athletes breastfeed. I remember the controversy about netballer Janine Illich breastfeeding her (I think 4mnth old) baby at the Sydney olympics.
On another note, breastfeeding protects against obesity. Breastfeeding allows babies to develop a sense of their appetite. Many of us find it difficult to understand when we have had *enough*. Breastfed babies develop this mechanism naturally. Breastfeeding women also generally find it easier to lose weight and their bodies return more quickly to their pre-pregnant condition.
Warm Regards
Barb

I found that I lost a lot of weight while still BF and I also trained for and completed a triathlon so it wasn't just light exercise :lol: I used the Weight Watchers BF diet and exercised 4-5 times a week - the weight fell off. I also BF to 15 months no problems. As your DS is bigger now and more effective at sucking maybe try to experiment with your holds again to see if anything else works.