Age gap between 2nd and 3rd child - your experiences

Sorry if this is in the wrong spot, Mods feel free to move.

I know this question has probably been asked many times in the past. DH went to the shops today and came back with some all in one suits for DS - he had chosen unisex colours - which I had no problem with, but I made the comment "interesting colour selection hun, what drew you to these colours?". Without a thought he replies "So it'll fit the next kid"....;)

Now while I'm looking forward to 'going another round' - I'm not sure if we should have a bigger age gap (like 3 - 5 yrs) or keep all the kids within 2 yrs or so of each other. DD is 2.5yrs, and DS is 11mths.

I'm sure there are pros and cons for each, but I'd like to hear from ladies who have had three (or more kids) and can share the good and bad points of each scenario...

Spill the beans ladies :D

Ok... yep 3 kids here ;)

All three years apart. It may have been earlier if TTC wasn't a roll the dice thing LOL!

This is a great age gap for me. Usually by 3 they are TT (except for DS2), can help themselves a little and you can reason within them a little. They can also help a little.
Look at it as if you start trying now then 9mths on how old will your youngest be? The oldest two who are now 6 and 3 are great mates, play imaginary games together, also argue and disagree as they should.
The 3yr old takes no notice of the DD, which is fine, every now and again, he says here is Tess's toy I will give it back to her. As a 3yr old, they are supposed to be a little selfish and self centred. DD finds this amusing now :) DS1 finds it frustrating that he has to give in some of the times.
So just go for it..it all works out in the end, the closer age gap is great later, can be a trial to start with.
Exciting news Leesa!!!
When DD was a newborn it was pretty good, DS2 was great and DS1 was and still absolutely besotted with DD. It can depend on the nature of the kids. From my perspective, it was perfect.

I just had my third, the oldest one is 8 number 2 is 6... this was a BIG gap, and now as I look at bubba I feel like we have to have another so she can have a playmate like her sisters. THey are so close and adore each other I can't imagine bubba not having that. I am BUSY all day long, but different to the busy that I was with two small children under 2. I would suggest at least a 2 year gap with the third, if it was me I would be more like 3-4 years still close enough to be playmates but far enough away to have the others sleeping well and independent!

I don't think there is the "perfect" age gap, you kinda just work with what you've got. I have a three year age gap between my first two and it was great, DS1 was TT'd and pretty easy and independent. There is a 22 month age gap between DS2 and DD which has been absolutely no issue at all. DS2 is still not TT'd (he is stubborn :wall:), but I don't find it a big deal to have two bums to change!

The big difference I found when #3 was first born was that there were no behavioural issues from the two boys. They were both used to sharing mummy and they had each other to play with when I was busy with DD. It was much harder when DS2 was a newborn and DS1 had trouble adjusting to not being the only child any more.

Best of luck no matter what you decide :D

I can so see where you're coming from Trish, there is no perfect gap.

At the moment I'm still changing two bums lol, and DD isn't quite used to sharing me with DS as yet. Argh, decisions.

I haven't had number 3 yet.... but I am LOVING sharing this pg with my two. I have a DD7 and DS4 (almost 5) and they are completely into this whole pg business! They spend hours kissing and cuddling my tummy and talking to the baby. They are old enough now to fully grasp that there is a baby inside mumma's growing tummy and they can't wait to meet their new sibling. It is very easy for me as they are both independent and are at school/kinder (oh, yes... mumma is so lonely without the kiddies at home it prompted the urge for number 3!!). Best of all... they love spoiling mummy and the baby and I am being waited on hand and foot!!

As someone else said, there is no perfect gap - there are pro's and con's for all age gaps.

TBH its more about personality than age. Mine are (will be) all between 2.5 - 3 years apart. My biggest struggle are the girl.
DD1 is jelouse of DD2. They are close in age, but a good distance apart so that DD1 doesn't (or refuses) to see why she is expected to do more to help than DD2.

Everything is competition with DD1 & she makes DD2's life very hard. She's better at so much, but she doesn't get that its simply because she's older. For some reason she needs to prove that she's better all the time.
DD2 & DS are completely different. I have them sharing a room & it will stay that way for a long time, because they get along. They have fun together. They do fight sometimes, but its nothing.

I think all you can do is do what you feel would be easiest for you. I wanted mine close enough together to grow up together, but far enough apart that one was out of day nappies before the next one came along. It kinda worked that way so far. This one has changed all those plans though, lol.

An older child can be a huge help though. A friend of mine has 2 DD's. DD1, almost 7 & DD2, 4 weeks. Her DD1 does alot coz its all so exciting. Gets nappies, clothes, towels etc. That little extra pair of hands can go a long way ;)

19 mths b/w #2 and #3
20 mths b/w #3 and #4....
Like others have said...no real perfect gap. Gotta do what works for you. Since having #4 i have found it hard with an older child (she was 5 when he was born..now she is 6) to drag the other 3 to school, to drag the other 3 to birthday parties, gymnastics, swimming lessons etc etc....
Its really, really challenging to take them all out to the shops, play date etc when they are all so young. Being a SAHM i dont want to be cooped up in the house all week, we like to get out. I find the 1-2hrs im out has me begging, srcreaming to get back home where there is some sanity.
For me, its not so much the age gap with the children, its how i will cope during pregnancy with such a little person to look after also.......i found the more kids...the harder the pregnancy....it just really seemed to take it out of me. So whilst i wouldnt change anything about my age gaps...out of all of them...i do love my 29mth gap the most - between DD#1 and DD#2....
GL...

My first two are just under 18 months apart and both are now out of nappies and sleeping through the night. Both can feed themselves, (almost) dress themselves and enjoy playing with eachother. Now this bub hasn't been born yet, but I am looking forward to a bigger gap this time, though I wouldn't change my boys' closeness in age for the world :)

I have 26 months between 1-2
14 months between 2-3
23 months between 3-4

It all depends I would rather still be in poo nappy sleepless night stage so I don't get a tast of the good life to have it ruined I'm trying to hold of ttc til the end of next year cos in 2012 I will have 3 in school lol

A 2.5yo and a newborn together is like the cutest thing on the planet. Toddler practically tries to change the baby for me (gets all the wipes and nappies and stuff), tells me when the baby is making noise, talks to the baby, and has just worked out where baby food comes from:

"Baby's eating mummy's boobies!"
"Babies don't eat food, they drink milk. Milk comes out of boobies"
*pause to think*
"Baby's drinking chocolate milk?"

Our toddler has a cup of chocolate milk twice a day lol .. milk doesn't come in any other flavour :)

I have 6 and as you can tell by the sig, varying age gaps. The biggest problem I am experiencing is the age gapes between my girls is simply too big. There is almost no relationship between them because Princess is 'too young' to be interesting or fun as far as Angel is concerned.. It will be the same with Princess and Bunny sadly.

Quite frankly I dont think there is any "correct" age gap. Every child is different and will approach and respond to their siblings differently - up to and including the age difference. Just do it when you are ready and do y our best to build strong family ties between your children. After that, all the petty childhood dramas will come out in the wash.

DS1 was 6 and DS2 was almost 5.
We put off having another child due to Mario's autism as all my strength had to go into helping him and his therapy.
Both boys were extremely excited about having a baby and understood the concept of the baby growing and coming out.
They were very excited about her as a NB and dotted over her and were extremly helpful and tried so hard :)
It also gave us a little leverage if we decided to a have another child after her as the age gap was great and just incase we thought she needed a sibling closer to her age.
So number 4 was born 16 months after her. Her personality shines and she is a lot more mature then the boys were at her age but I think that has alot to do with picking up 'things' from her older brothers.
I HATED with a passion kinder and school pick ups..grrrrr they were always around nap times so keep that in mind because its truely a pain in the rear