6 year old still throwing tantrums!!!

Hi,
Just wondering if anyone can relate to our issues with our 6 year old DD2. We have 3 children... DD1 and DS are quite easy children and we have never really had any issues with their behaviour. They do misbehave but and DS does throw tantrums, but the usual 2 year old kind of tantrums.

DD2 is out of control and DH and I are really starting to think DD2 has some kind of 'problem'. DD2 has always been more 'energetic' then the other 2. She throws volatile tantrums.... I mean volotile... for example, in one of her 'rages' she ripped the towel rack off the wall in our bathroom. She kicks doors, cupboards and walls etc if we send her to her room.

She will ask for a treat at the shops and I will tell her... if you behave you can have a treat.... she misbehaves and doesn't get the treat. She will then throw a tantrum, but when we are out her tantrums consist of her hitting her sister, trying to push the trolley into me or her sister.... arghhhh

In general she is extremely defiant. She will do the opposite of what we tell her. I even tried reverse psychology, but this does not work. I have tried sticker charts, tick charts.... we've tried so many things.

We are at the end of our tether. She throws at least one massive whopper of a tantrum a day. She can carry on for hours and hours. Regardless of whether or not or how much we ignore her. She just seems different.

BUT...... At school she is generally well behaved. Her teacher has noticed she is more defiant then others but still feels that she is well behaved in general.

Please help.... or whatever you can tell me to make me feel a little more at ease. :(

Take my thoughts with a grain of salt because I don't have 3 kids or daughters.

Follow your instincts. If you think there is something there, then get it investigated. If there is no issues, then at least it is ruled out.

Also, as she is the middle child, is she trying to get some attention? Was she like this before DS was born? Does she feel like she is left out a little?

Does she favour time with you or DH more? Can a reward be some solid time with the parent she wants to spend time with the most?

Not much help as I am sure you have already thought of this.

Thank you for replying :)
She was like this before DS was born. She used to favour time with DH over me but now she is pretty 'equal' in her affections. It does seem that she needs a lot more attention then the other two. She definately craves attention.

I think we will get her assessed, just in case. Probably better to be sorting her out now if there is a problem. I really worry about her and what she will be like as she gets older.

Oh well.... I better go out and help DH, DD2 is giving him a little grief as we speak lol

Once again... thank you :)

Would you consider looking at her diet? She may have intolerances to colours or preservatives or even wheat or dairy.

How much screen time does she have also? Tv or computer I mean.

:hug: it sounds tough

We did look at her diet and we had her on a preservative/colour free diet etc, where we gave her fresh foods only. We didn't see any significant changes in her behaviour. Her screen time varies as it probably does in most households. DD1 and DD2 play outside or in their rooms a lot, away from any media, except for a CD player maybe. Sometimes they watch way too much TV though lol. I would have to say they mostly play outside, we have a few kids their ages in our street which is a cul de sac so they play out the front with kids most afternoons after school and all through the weekend. They have a pretty regular routine of a 7:30 pm bedtime so they both get plenty of sleep. I have been talking to my sister, cousin and a friend today about her, they have all told me they feel there is something different about her, but have never wanted to say anything to me. I feel a little relieved that they have all said that. It makes me feel a little more at ease that I'm not crazy. I have decided to keep a food diary for her, plus a behaviour diary, book into to see my GP and get a referral for her. I really do suspect she has some kind of behavioural/psychological problem. At the moment I am thinking either Asperges (sp) or Oppositional Defiance Disorder.

Wish me luck girls, I think we need it :)

Thank you so much for your advice and suggestions. I really appreciate it :) I am so glad I joined up to BB

:hug:

sounds like you're a fabulous caring mummy who is in tune to your little ones. I think a food and behaviour diary sounds perfect. Keep us up to date with your progress.

Thinking of you. :grouphug:

3LM i was going to suggest she might have ODD. They can maintain for a while (at school) but tend to get worse in their home situation. My eldest DD was thought to have this. Good luck with getting a diagnosis. Try to see someone who specialises in children.

I hope you get some answers soon.

The diaries sound like a great idea!!