The still/home birth of our precious baby Boy.....

* may be distressing to some*

We found out late Thursday night our baby had no heart beat, at 18 wks.

We went back to hossy on Friday morning for a better scan, bub had passed at around 14-15 wks....:cry:

As we had lost our last baby at the same stage, we had not told family about the pregnancy, which turned out to be a good thing, as the other kids had been so so upset last time, and at least this time they didn't have to go through it again.

I was booked in for an induction on Monday morning, as bub was too big for a D & C. The thought of this terrified me....

I had very slight back pain and some loss over the weekend. Went to bed Sunday night praying i wouldn't have to be induced. I was taking Black Cohosh in the hope that if my cervix ripened a little, less induction would be needed.

I woke at 2.58, with a big pop and gush in bed... my waters. I woke Ad, who grabbed me a towel, and I waddled to the toilet. at 3.00am, my little boy slipped out, still attached with the umbilical cord... I picked him up, but the cord was super short, i couldn't lift him past my thighs. I had no pain, or contractions.

I held him for what seemed like forever, touching his perfect little face. Ad took lots of photos for me. I noticed some blood loss, a LOT. I got Ad to cut the cord, so i could move my little boy, and try to push the placenta out. I couldn't, and the blood loss was reaching bad poportions. We rand Ad's dad to sit with the kids, all asleep, while we were going to call an ambulance. Just before he got here, I needed to go pee again, and passed the placenta. The blood loss all but stopped, i was so relieved.

I got cleaned up, and we put our little boy in a blanket, then in a lunch box...... I know, its all we had, but he did look so serene. We gathered the placents too.

I told Ad I wasn't going to hossy till the kids were off at school and didn't know anything was up, so we went to bed, with my precious son next to my bed.

Once the kids were dropped off we took our son to hossy... and I just cried and cried.

i didn't want to leave him there but didn't know what else to do with him.
The midwives were so so nice. They wieghed my little boy, and took hand/foot prints for us, and wrote up one of theose birth cards for him. They gave me a blue teddy bear for him too....

I have just sent Ad back to hossy to get my baby boy, I have to have him here with me. I will be buying a lovely blue pot, and will bury him under a beautiful tree......

Little Boy, 3.00am weighing just 75 gms.

Will add more information when I am able, this has taken about 2 hrs to write....:crying::crying:

:cry: I'm glad you were able to birth your little boy sweetheart, I'm so sorry it was so early though :hug:

:hug: I'm so sorry for your loss honey

:hug: Jodie

I'm so sorry for your loss xo

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful little boy. I am glad that you got to hold him and have some precious photo's. xox

I must add, through the tears, that birthing my sweet sleeping boy at home, with just me and Adam, was just beautiful.... i wouldn't of wanted such a devastating occasion to of happened any other way.... I was in control, and got to have my boy, my way, and to hold him for as long as I wanted, in privacy.... it was just the perfect way to bring my little angel to mummy and daddy....

My little boy was just longer than my hand, from tall finger to just past my wrist.... he had all little fingers and toes, long arms and legs, and the sweetest little face.... he was perfect.......

Im so sorry for the loss of your precious baby boy PB. I know there isnt any words that can ease your pain, but know I am thinking of you as I am sure everyone else on here are too. Loads of hugs.

Oh hun I am truly so very sorry................ fly free xx

I am sorry that you have to say goodbye to your little boy.

What a beautiful birth story Jodie - and what an honour you gave your son to be birthed like that. I am so sorry for your loss. :crying:

:hug: Oh Jodie & Adam, I am typing this with tears running down my face. I am so sorry for the loss of your little boy.

Take time to grieve and look after yourselves.

Omg :cry::cry::cry::cry:

Why a mother has to go through this, Ill never understand.
Im glad to got to birth your beautiful baby boy at home and things went as smooth as possible:(

No doubt in my mind he was just perfect:hug:

RIP beautiful boy

No words... I am so so sorry for the loss of your little sweet boy. Words on a screen just won't cut it, I genuinely want to give you a massive hug :crying:

:crying: Jodie, your darling baby boy chose the most amazing and strong parents to give him such a loving and dignified birth.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. :comfort: Thinking of you.

Love,
Rachel.

oh hun, i'm in tears reading this. A beautiful story hun. I'm so sorry for loss hun. Big :hug:
Fly free little angel may you always watch over Mummy, Dadd and you brothers and sisters. xxxx

I'm so so sorry. :hug:

xox

Jodie, thank you so much for sharing the birth story of your beautiful little boy. I am so sorry. Words will never be enough to heal the pain you are feeling.
Fly free little one. xxxx

:hug: