Do you ever have a break?

Wow, have just been reading the other threads and now feel extra pathetic because I only have 1 bub to deal with. But anyway.

Do you ever have a break?

I'm with my baby 24 hours a day. No that there's anything wrong with that. But sometimes, I would just like a break. Not for a whole day or anything. Maybe a few hours a week. At the moment, I get 3 hours to myself every 3 weeks or so, when DH takes DD to his parents' house.

DD only naps while I'm BFing her, so it's not as though I am alone to deal with things while she's napping.
She's 9 months old but isn't crawling yet, so she is *terribly* frustrated that she can't get around.... which I can totally understand. I'm doing all I can to encourage movement. But for the moment, she is a grumpy little miss *all* day! :shakehead:

Mealtimes have gone downhill - it was hard enough getting her onto solids to begin with. Now she isn't happy in the highchair most of the time. She turns bright pink with fury, gets an absolutely *murderous* look in her eye and tries to rip her bib off! Which I must admit, in hindsight, looks gorgeous, but at the time it is so not funny. So we often have some meals on the floor, without a bib...

I get jealous of mums whose babies can feed from bottles! It would be so nice if she could just take a bottle feed every so often.

I'm jealous of mums who have help from their family members!

I'm jealous of mums who have babies with easygoing temperaments!

DD has always been quite volatile... She has been alert from the git-go. I love her to pieces, but it would be so nice to have a break.

Thanks for listening

Aww giant :hug: hun.
I know exactly how you feel DD1 was classed as an 'easy baby' by everyone but i never got help around the house (on occasion DP would do minimal), i cooked, cleaned, did his business stuff and i would get so frustrated when she wasn't well or was clingy.
Now i have DD2 who is WORSE, she screams when i leave a room and i still get no time to myself.

I went to the drive in with a friend and took DD2 with us, she slept through the movie but it wasn't the point, she was still there. I wish too that she would take EBM so i could go and do something or DP could take them and i get to sleep in.

HUn your not asking much at all, we all want some US time at some point or another, your not alone and it doesn't matter if you have 1 or 10.. you deserve YOU TIME... i'ms till working on it though, worked it out i have not had 1 night to myself (aside from a hosp stay) since DD1 was born (2yrs in oct).

ETA: DD1 didn't crawl until around 10mths so i know your frustration there, everyone at MG thought i was nuts wanting her to crawl.. she sat from 5mths and obviously felt she had no need to move but would get so so angry... argh kids!

Definately not asking too much! We all need a break, even if it is to sit and do nothing. I always feel guilty complaining as compared with DD1 P is an absolute angel! However I would love some time to myself - even to go to the toilet without visitors. The awful bit is that P would prob take a bottle of EBM however my DP is so scared she wont that he doesn't want me to leave her with him. I just tell myself that it is such a short time and baby snuggles are wonderful! In saying that I hope you get some time to yourself soon!

:hug:

DD is bottle fed and I still don't get a break! Was hoping to get a night out last Friday but DF couldn't agree on a babysitter :rolleyes:

Do you go for walks? Even if DD is still with me, it feels like a bit of a break if I take her for a walk in the pram with the dog. just something different from sitting around at home you know. I don't have family nearby either, my parents are 6 hours drive and MIL is the other end of the country and no close friends here. It's tough, but hopefully things will get better once she figures out how to crawl!

Awww, hun, big hugs to you!

I could have almost written that post myself. We don't have any family around (they are all back home in Scotland), missy is breastfed and will NOT take a bottle and she has a very.... how shall we say..... strong will? LOL She is a feisty wee thing who knows what she wants, when she wants it and usually that is 5 minutes ago. She isn't liking anyone but mummy or daddy at the moment too! But there really isn't anyone I would leave her with at the moment anyway - more to do with her temperament than anything else!!

I agree with taking her for walks in the pram or baby carrier. Also, do you have a jolly jumper? I have found that since getting one of those, missy burns off loads of her energy and is easier to settle for a nap - I usually give her 20 minutes in that before she has her feed then nap time.

Also, could you get DH just to take her for an hour between feeds and go for a nap/bath/walk by yourself with your ipod really loud? I find doing that at weekends is really good when DH is home.

Hugs
Sue xxx

I only have one but most definitely need a break or I start to go more nutty then usual. I didn't really start to get a break until DS was older (about the 9 mnthish stage) and it was only ever a couple of hours every few weeks or so. Now it's at least once a fortnight.

At 9 mnths old DS was still feeding fairly regularly and also fed to sleep but if I timed it right I could get away for 2/3 hrs even if he would normally feed in that time it isn't a big deal for him to miss 1 feed once every few weeks for my sanity. I was lucky in that it never affected my supply either and I don't think it would :dunno:

My eldest drives me nuts on occasions and my parents have always taken her in the school holidays, or just whenever they had the time before she went to school. This has been going on since she was off the boob. They took her for several weeks one year when I had a short intensive course at uni.

As she's got older though, she drives my parents nuts too so they won't take her more than about 5 days. That's the threshold when the novelty wears off and the usual behaviour kicks in, and my mother has had to follow through on the "if you don't behave you go back to your mother" threat.

The others? Don't get breaks. My partner tends to stay up late so he can do work without any interruptions, but I'm constantly attached to the little people.

:hug: your DD sounds alot like my DS - and he got very frustrated & grumpy in the month or so before he crawled. i hope that's just around the corner for you & she settles down a little once she can get around & investigate!

it does get tough without a break. can you leave your DD with your DH even for an hour on a weekend so you can go for a walk or go & get a coffee & read a mag or a book? i nearly always feel guilty for leaving DS with my DP while i go out & do something - not that he makes me feel that way or anything, it's just me - but after a while i just forced myself to go & do things so i could have a break. being a parent is incredibly rewarding etc but it doesn't mean you don't need some time out every so often :)

Not as often as I'd like lol!

DH works very long hours so when he is on shift I am basically on my own for about 6 days & nights. He is here but DS is in bed by the time he comes home. DH has to get up extremely early so I was always alone during the nights too. He gets 5 days off but these tend to get eaten up by appointments, activities & life in general.
I have no family nearby to leave DS with. My MIL lives 5 mins away but has never offered to babysit. Actually, I wouldn't allow it anyway as I just don't trust her, but the offer would be nice.
I am trying to work out an arrangement with a friend where we take in turns to babysit every fortnight or something.
It's so hard having to take DS everywhere I have to go all the time! Especially seeing he only sleeps in his own bed, it can be very restricting.

When DS was little I couldn't leave the house or he would cry for the entire time, no matter what poor DH did! As soon as my car left the driveway until I walked back in the door. So for a long time I never left him. People would tell me to just let DH deal with it, I have to do it all the time so shouldn't care. But how could I enjoy myself knowing my baby was back home completely hysterical? The he went through a stage where I couldn't even leave the room! Before he crawled was probably the worst, very much how you've described your DD. Goodness me it was a terrible time! The poor kid was so frustrated & would spend hours just trying to crawl. It was a huge relief for all of us when he suddenly took off one day!

These days DS just LOVES his Daddy & I can leave him for a few hours before he'll start looking for me. With life being busy I probably only get out without him once a month. I would actually love for DH to take him out so I could have the house to myself for once! Must work on that...

Big hugs hun, it will get better. I also suggest going out for walks. That is often the only time my DS is quiet & occupied! MIL makes comments about me inviting her for a walk but that's the only time I have to think lol!

:hug:
We have my ILs bout 15 minutes away, and DH keeps saying 'we should leave him with them' and I just can't because I don't wanna be a burden on them.
But as for me, the break I get is going to work 2 days a week - and even then it's not really a break as I'm still working. I don't get a chance to be just me. I'm alway mum, or a worker, never Liz.
:hug: Sending lots of hugs

Thanks all, yeah I should try to go on more walks.

DD gets stroppy with outdoor walks - she prefers walking through shopping centres!
She likes watching all the people, the noise etc....

You do need a break, absolutely!
What about playgroup or something like that? Will your DD play in that sort of setting so you can at least sit and have a chat with other mums?
Where's your DP in all this, does he take over sometimes?

For mealtimes, don't sweat it. Just do whatever is easiest - it doesn't matter if she eats on the floor or gets food on her clothes. Come summer you can just feed her naked & outside :)

I know how you feel! I never get a break! Hopefully your little one will start crawling soon, it will give you lots more free time!

Update: DD still not crawling, but has learned to move herself around in a circular motion while sitting, using her legs :)
So she's a bit less cranky.... Maybe she will be a bum shuffler. What do you think?
She does reach for toys, and gets down really low to the ground with one knee on the ground, but keeps the other knee up so this stops her from getting on all fours...

Marcellus - DP takes over sometimes, but is happy to let her fuss etc so I end up dealing with it anyway.

Sounds like she's figuring it out, one way or another.
Perhaps you could organise a catchup with friends sometime when your DH is home and have a few hours for yourself?

Thanks Marcellus. Yes, I think I will do that. I think I need to get out of the house for a few hours and let DH look after DD. Otherwise if I'm home, I can't keep away when she fusses!
Also thanks for the invite to the high tea (on another thread I wrote ages ago), but I won't be able to make it. Maybe another time.