Scared I'm going to lose another one

Just need to have a bit of a whinge. Got a BFP on Monday, which was a big surprise. I have a BT this coming Monday to check that my levels are rising, and I'm starting to get pretty anxious about it. My hcg on Monday was 305, which is good apparently.

Having lost one baby, I am so aware of all that can go wrong. I haven't had any symptoms except for AF-type cramping, which I also had with DS. I can't remember when the morning sickness started with DS, but I'm worrying that I have no other symptoms.

I feel like I have all these hurdles to jump before I can accept that I'm pg and get excited - two more BTs, then HB scan, then scan at first OB appt, then 12 week scan etc. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Every trip to the loo is an anxious check for bleeding. I hate it.

Even though my miscarriage was three years ago now, and I've had a healthy baby since then, I just can't stop feeling that I'm going to lose it. I just know that lots of pregnancies do end at this early stage.

Nothing to do but wait I suppose.

Sweetie its ok to be cautious about it all. I know I was in the same position as you. What helped me get through was reminding myself that that it was in the hands of nature and really there was nothing I could do about the outcome but be as healthy in mind and body as I could and in my case keep taking P4 (for FET). You have given your body the best chance to create an embryo, implant and now grow. M/Cs are mostly because an embryo isn't viable for some reason, there is nothing you can do to change the outcome now. I'm not sure if this will help you but its ok to say you are scared of hoping but I hope as the tests continue and the weeks go on you will grow more confident in your baby and body and allow yourself to hope and care for this little one.
Big hugs :hug: xx

Thanks Dusty, you are absolutely right of course. It is in the hands of nature, and if this one doesn't work out it's because it was never going to anyway. I'm a bit of a control freak, and the total lack of control that is pregnancy is pretty confronting. But as you say, I have done all I can and hopefully this one is a good one. Jeez, it's hard at the beginning but so worth it in the end.

Hope you and your beautiful girl are well today.

xxx

OMG i know exactly how you are feeling i am 4 weeks and constantly going to the toilet to check for blood. I miscarried at xmas and just worry the whole time its not going to stick.

as for when MS kicked in i think i waws about 8 weeks when it kicked in with my DD.

Fingers crossed all goes well for you :)

Thanks for your reply Bern, sorry I've only just checked back in this thread. I hope things are progressing well for you so far. How are you feeling? Sending lots of :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy:

Awwww Honeybee congratulations! :hug: I understand how you are feeling and I'm sure that this little one is going to be a sticky bub that will be born happy and healthy :hug: