Can anyone help? I dont know where to look for answers....

I think we are getting Ad a vasectomy....:cry:

I just couldn't go through all this again.... butthen I pull out all the nappies and baby clothes, or see a baby, and I still dont feel "finished" yet....

How can i search for answers?? I just dont beleive it was "one of those things" in our case.... and I need all I can possibly know before deciding that any more pregnancies is simply a bad idea, once I know that, the decision will be easier...

Seven died at 15 w, and we found out at 17 w.. they gave us no idea why... she looked perfect.

Isaiah died at 15+3, and we found out at 18w... he had a lot of fluid on his heart and brain.....but otherwise, perfect too....

Does anyone know what this may be?? Googling is just silly, it brings up too much stuff not relevant.. :wall:

If this something that will probably keep happening, or worse, we'll get to 40 wks and have a very deformed child that has no chance/quality of life, i would be devastated and would go ahead with the vasectomy... but if something could be done before conception, a vasectomy is too harsh and final just yet.... this is jumbled sorry, my head is VERY jumbled at the moment....

I have no advice, but just want to give you a :hug: Hope someone can give you some advice.

Oh hun :hug:

I have no idea, but I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone.
Have you had counselling? Maybe you can ask to be referred to a specialist or someone who might have some answers. I can understand your wanting to know before you make any decisions, and I don't think making any permanent decisions would be a good idea ATM.

Sending big hugs your way :comfort:

Do you know if they took any tissue samples for testing for genetic problems? If Isaiah had extra fluid, it could have been a sign of a congential problem. But unfortunately there may never be a reason and it may never happen again :hug: but you may not know that until you try again :hug: I wish I had some clear answers for you.

Just hugs from me :hug: :hug: :hug: :comfort: xxx

With 2 second trimester losses, I would suggest getting a full blood workup for miscarriage. There are a number of autoimmune conditions that can occur despite previous normal pregnancies. Late losses should be investigated to see if there is a simple cause that can be treated, many times with something as easy as aspirin. In my case, I have a clotting disorder that required aspirin. Others require clexane (I am allergic to it) which also has an immunosupressive component as well as the anticoagulant effect.

Inanna will hopefully pop in and offer her suggestions. At this stage I would hold off on the vasectomy, head down the path of blood tests to check for a cause and then re-evaluate together :hug:

Thank you ladies..... We sent Isaiah's placenta away for testing but we declined an autopsy on him. He was so so small, they told us if we had one done, we wouldn't get him back and he would be "medical waste"...:cry::cry: and I just couldn't do it... we had him cremated and he is home here with us....

At the time we had decided definatly no more children so it semed a moot point... now I want answers.... :wall:

One thing that did pop up in google is how severe spina bifida can do the same to bubs, and I have 2 children now with mild forms and sacral dimples.... :think:

Jodie, I have no answers for you, just big :hug:

Is there a specialist you can speak to?

Jodie - if spina bifida is a potential issue then you may be suited to high doses of folate too (which can also be suited for other conditions) but you need to consider further testing just so any decision you make leaves you without "what ifs". Do you know what the results of the placenta tests were??

No not yet..... not sure how long it would take from here, but it has been 5 weeks....
I have been on extra folate for both pregnancies, due to a cleft bub for my fifth, so my last 3 I was on a lot more than neccassary, but maybe not enough???
I wonder if we even have a specialsit up here for this stuff.....?? None that I've heard of....

Your GP should be able to arrange the blood tests for recurrent miscarriage. There are some specialists but a good GP (or OB) cab do the ordering for preliminary tests. How much folate have you been taking?? Placenta results can take 6-8 weeks depending on whether they can test locally but get your GP to chase them too.