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Today I was sent an invite to a baby shower.. (via text) so I text back.. "Hi Babe, Sorry but I wont be coming, I don't do baby showers plus it is a week to the day before what would have been Taite and Seth's 2nd birthday :(. Have a great day, thanks for the invite xx"
Do you think that was rude, she didn't respond...
I don't think it was rude, you were honest and straight to the point. A true friend would understand how you would feel attending showers etc. I am sure she will respond and be understanding, some people just don't know how to take honesty straight up and takes them a bit to realise.
Hmm.
Don't think it is rude as such, but it very about you...
I mean, I think I probably would have been a bit more enthusiastic about HER day, about HER celebration...of course, that is with hindsight! lol
If it were me, I would send her another text, or call her, and say something like: I am sorry if I was rude in the earlier text, the date made me feel a bit emotional. But I wanted to let you know I hope you enjoy your shower and I am sorry I won't be there for you to help you celebrate your baby! Baby showers really stir some emotions in me and I don't feel comfortable bringing that dark cloud to your happy day. Can't wait to see the photos on FB, and again, I am sorry if I was a bit rude earlier. xox
:hug: I am sure if she is a good friend she understands though and perhaps just couldn't reply at the time.
I do think LS has a good point there. I generally think, for myself, that if I'm feeling that something I've done may have been rude then it probably was - at least to you. You could also try some wording like "this is a tough time of year for me, and I'd hate to bring you down - all the best for the day" and send her another message on the day like "hope today's fun for you!"
Yeah, good point..I must admit I was a bit angry/upset that she even sent it.. People that know me, know I am bitter and twisted lol and I don't do baby showers.. If they know me well they should also know that this time of year sux for me.. Why on earth would she invite me?? I'm just being nasty cos I am angry at the situation and I would probably be having a b!tch if she didn't invite me! BTW while I am having a b!tch, I thought baby showers were only for first babies! She's on her 2nd!
:hide: Off I go under my rock now.. Hopefully for a while lol
I had a baby shower for my second... :redface: In my defence, it was my friend's idea, she said just because it's my second doesn't mean it's any less important. We basically sat around chatting and had some afternoon tea and I got some little gifts.
I think Lime is right and sending another message might be a good idea. She might have thought "I know she doesn't normally do showers but she might make an exception for me" or something! Just let her know what's going on.
:hug: Hugs hun. She might have thought that inviting you & giving you the option to attend or refuse would be better than ignoring you?
It's totally understandable for you not to go, and this time of year being tough.
Can you send a card maybe?
:hug:
would she, should she have know it was the boys birthday?
It was maybe a little bit more 'to the point' than needed...
But really who gives a F! You do not and never need to put other peoples feelings before your own when it comes to your boys!
Baby shower might also be insensitive but then again you dont want people to make those choices for you! Like someone else said. A good friend would understand, a not so good friend is not worth worrying about!
Hugs!
Also on a side:: A friend is throwing me a shower for this one and it will be my 6th pregnancy and 4th baby. I have never had one before.
I think they are for whatever baby you want and if you want one for all your babies thats ok. Thats what an invites for, if you dont want to go you just say no.
Well she replied to my text saying" Babe, I completely understand why you don't want to come x" So I text back, sorry I was so abrupt thanks anyway for the invite, I hope you have a nice time x
:hug: Try not to be angry. Perhaps hidden in her invitation was a wish for you that your pain will lessen with time. :hug::
I think it is a tough time for you and as you said you would have been angry either way. Im glad she replied and understood your reasoning for not attending.
I'm so glad she understood. HUGE :hug:
That's my thoughts too:
You did great huni!!!:
I completely understand your feelings about baby showers but I can see her side as well. I have a friend who recently had her third miscarriage, twins this time so 4 babies lost. She is one of my oldest friends and I couldn't imagine not inviting her, however I rang her before the invites were coming out to let her know that sister would be sending her one but I didn't want her to feel any pressure.
I felt like It would be rude of me and cruel to not invite her at all, but I also thought it would be cruel to send it without any contact before hand.
You are completely justified in feeling however you feel about your boys. You shouldn't feel you have to justify however you are feeling. I hope your pain eases.
xxx