3yo constant night waking from nightmares

Okay so my ds1 is an incredibly sensitive and I guess highly strung child. We have never had much luck with sleep with him despite our best efforts. As a baby I spent many nights sleeping on his floor by his cot because he would not sleep without someone beside him. At 16 months and desperately sick with ms with ds2 we moved him into our bed and he co-slept with us until 2 months ago. He never slept particularly well even in our bed. Anyway a couple of months ago there was just no more room in our bed for him so we moved him onto a mattress on our floor in the hopes we can eventually get him in his own room. He took the transition fairly well but has been waking during the night so often it is driving us batty.

It is incredibly frustrating because he won't tell us what is wrong. He has really great speech for a 3yo but its like at night he loses all ability to talk. He will wake up crying, often calling for me and that is the last intelligible thing he says. He will cry and when I ask him what is wrong he either ignores me and just continues to keep crying or he stops crying, doesn't say a word and then just starts crying again when I stop talking. Hugs kisses, reassurances will not stop him crying, will not get him to tell me what's wrong. Ashamedly the only thing that makes him stop crying is if I threaten to move him to the playroom and make him sleep there. Then he usually be's quiet and goes back to sleep. But he wakes like this continually over and over again all night long. Often his cries wake up his brother from down the hall and I have 2 crying kids to deal with. I want to move them into the same room shortly after this bub is born but at this stage it looks like it will be impossible.

I don't know what to do to stop it. I have cut out all tv before bed. I have restricted any night time books to those more suited to ds2's age, so like picture books, in case any of his story books were playing on his mind. He has a cuski he sleeps with. I have stopped any desert. And still the nightmares continue (or only what I can assume are nightmares because he will not tell me what's bothering him) Oh and they aren't night terrors because he has them to and when they happen he sits bolt upright in bed and screams like someone is murdering him. This is just normal whiny crying.


I am frustrated and exhausted and reaching the end of my limit. Is there anything I can do to help him feel more secure at night?? We seem to be at our wits end with him and nothing seems to work.

Sorry, no advice here, just hugs. It looks like you are doing the right thing by cutting out TV and changing bedtime stories. Are there any nights that it doesn't happen that you could try and see if anything is different or is it every night without fail? What about trying to wear him out by running around all afternoon so he is completely stuffed?

My DD used to suffer from night terrors & since making small changes in her diet, they have seemed to cease - not sure if it is a coincidence or not. Anyway, could that be it - something he is making him irritable or upsetting his tummy at night time? Maybe he isn't eating enough during the day & waking hungry? (sometimes happens to DD)

I don't think he is hungr, he eats all day long and has huge meals. Its more that he is insecure. He can't sleep by himself and even in our room he is that unsettled. And yes it is every night without fail. I can't remember a night recently that there wasn't at least 1 waking but usually more. He runs all day and we are very busy so he is completely stuffed by the end of the day.

some of what you said sounds a lot like my ds, but not as sever.
Always a terrible sleeper but when he was two we moved house and took that opportunity to introduce a bed. we got a king single so we could have cuddles.
He is slowly getting better, but occasionally does wake crying like you described, and I think it's a touch of seperation anxiety mixed in with waking and not realising where he is.
For a while he needed music to go to sleep, and putting this on when he woke like that would calm him quicker, sometimes a drink of water helped too.
Latley unless his sick he's been doing really well staying in bed until morning.

We have focused on making his bed a happy nice place to be, and also attempted to be consistent with returning him to bed.
I decorated his walls, he has nice sheets and doona covers. he has a lamp he knows how to turn on and he can reach the light switch.
He has stories every night, we do have to read him to sleep though and well picture books are too interesting for a 3yo who doesn't want to sleep so we read novels in a monotoned voice. Right now we are reading harry potter and to no ill effects.

he too is very articulate for a 3yo, so much so I forget how little he is. he knows lots, but doesn't understand most of it, so that too could be scary.
my ds cries a lot during the day when he gets tired and for no apparent reason.

My Ds doesn't have naps during the day anymore because it just doesn't work here especially because he won't sleep until 9pm if he has a nap. But maybe your little one still needs a nap during the day?

Oh, and just before my dd came along I passed over all responsibility for getting ds to sleep and tending to during the night to my dh, maybe doing that and completley changing the routine may help. My ds when he does get up walks past me and goes to daddies side of the bed.