Sleep issues I don't know what to do anymore

So if anyone remembers any previous threads, DD has had sleep issues for many months now. I really miss when she only woke up three times a night.
Now we are co-sleeping, as waking up 6-9 times every night was finally just too much to handle. The first several co-sleeping nights were a tiny bit better; when she woke up I just fed her to sleep without having to really wake up.
Now I am getting less sleep than before, as she just doesn't fall asleep for the entire night. She seems asleep but keeps tossing and turning and crawling and whimpering, so I have to stay alert the whole night to make sure she doesn't crawl off the side of the bed or bang her head against the brick wall. She crawls to me, so I cuddle her, but she doesn't like it, crawls off me again, garrr it's driving me insane and I can't take it anymore. I just want to get an hour or two of sleep.
I'm waiting for an amber necklace to be delivered (fingers crossed this saves us) but what else can I do??
Her day naps have been quite good, she only has one long one, and another 40minute one later in the day. She's generally happy and energetic during the day (despite no deep sleep WTH?)
I think it's time I get really proactive about her sleep.
Any gentle parenting ideas? I just want her back in her cot without me having to get up every single hour of the night.
Do I just like.. start trying a sleep scheme eg NCSS? What other options are there?

:hugs: I know how you feel.
I went through something similar with ds, and it looks like dd is following suit and i'm desperate for her not to.
we road it out after many sleepless nights and had a vast improvement when we put him in a bed (king single room for an adult too)
I know it's wrong but I will happily let a child go to sleep with me and then move them to their own bed.
I can't give you any tips but like you I too would prefer a gentle parenting idea, i'm not a fan of people telling me that I have to do this and have to do that. etc etc and definetly don't do controlled crying.

I have been really tring hard to read the sleep cues for dd, and put her to bed awake, at the right time to self settle, sometimes i succeed but we are still fluctuating between getting up 3 times a night or what feels like every 30 minutes.

I miss rem sleep sooo much, and am constantly exhausted.

Is she teething?
DS was like this for months when teething. Nothing actually helped, I'm afraid. He just couldn't settle while he felt uncomfortable. As soon as theh teeth were through, he slept (until the next lot started).
Could you sleep on a mattress on the floor instead of bed - at least then you wouldn't have to worry about her rolling out.

I always just assumed it was her teeth, but she hasn't had any come through yet, and I don't see any activity there at all. I wish there was some way of knowing for sure.
I guess if that amber necklace helps, that will tell me. Gosh I cannot wait to get it, I'm depending on it for my sanity.
Doesn't help that DH refuses to help out in any way.
I am going to take your advice marcellus and sleep on floor; such a smart idea!
Any other suggestions are welcome.

I was going to ask if she is teething too as my DS was the same and it felt like just as one tooth popped through another come up. We ended up going to a sleep school and using 'comforted crying' I found it hell and didn't really solve anything. I wish I had some better answers for you. :hug:

i'm another fan of co-sleeping on a matress on the floor. ours is in DS' room as well - i like it in there because i feel like it's letting him know that it's his room. when he co-slept in our room, it just always felt so temporary.

:hug: sleep deprivation is the worst

I just noticed she is nine months which is prime bad-sleeping time. Search for some of my threads from the 8-10 month stage and I was loosing the plot.

It's a time of rapid brain growth, which is why she is unsettled.

:hug: it will pass, but I still recommend ncss...

Yes, DS' first 6 teeth coincided with the 8-10 month period (well, 8-11 months actually). It was hell. Then, I kid you not, that 6th tooth popped through and he slept happily with one wakeup for a feed. I went back to my own bed for a whole month (nearly) before we started the next lot of teeth.
The big problem is when there are underlying reasons for teh wakings - and some kids are just super sensitive to discomfort or developmental changes etc - then there really isn't much you can do if you can't address that particular problem. Ie, routines etc won't make any difference.
Hope the necklace helps!

The behaviour you are talking about (restless, won't stop squirming, comes to me for a cuddle, doesn't want a cuddle, whimpering in her sleep, waking up crying often) is exactly what DD does when she is in pain. Especially the whimpering/crying in her sleep, I really know something is up when I hear that. The things that have caused it so far have been teeth (when it went on for months) or a virus (only a few days). The other things that I had her checked for which were possibilities were ear infections and a UTI. I wouldn't think it would be a virus given that it has been going on for months, but it might be worth getting your GP to check for ear infections or a UTI or other similar things.

What is your gut feeling telling you might be the cause? My gut feeling when we were going through this was that it was teeth, and you know it turned out mothers instinct was correct. I understand what you are saying about wanting to be sure what is really causing the problem. Something that I did was put some teething gel on her gums when she was in pain. It did seem to make her feel better, and my theory was if teeth weren't the problem then making her gums numb wouldn't really do much for her IYKWIM.

Good luck, sleep deprivation is horrible. I hope the issue gets sorted soon.

I haven't read all of the replys yet, but what I did when I was desperate for sleep with my kids was to put a matteress on the floor against a wall in their room and go to sleep in there, but put them in their cot first and tried to go to bed early-ish (about 9 or 9.30), so if they had a good night and slept til midnight or whatever, then I would get a fairly good uninterrupted bit of sleep before having to worry about them getting up. And then I would put them ont he mattress with me between me and the wall.
Good luck. Sleep deprivation is seriously torturous. I feel for you.

Just wanted to second what Arcadia said. 7-10 months was awful for us, and we had a lot of what you described. I found DD would sleep particularly badly as she hit a developmental leap like learning to crawl. Poor love, it was like her body was making her keep practicing even when she was needing to rest and she'd be crawling and crying and looking frustrated and confused like 'I can't stop!!'. For us it settled down a lot at about 10 - 11 months and by 12 months we were back to 1 to 2 wake-ups - relative heaven!!! Good luck Hun, this too shall pass.

Would you consider putting a side rail on the side of your bed, so you know she can't roll out? (like the ones available for toddler/childrens beds)

We have been going through similar issues for the last few months and DD is drooling an awful lot lately. Plus she has been sick a lot in that period. It is so hard to cope with though. Definitely go for the mattress on the floor. We have had the mattress on the floor for quite a while and makes it much safer. Even though DD still head butts the wall in her sleep it does not wake her:o

I tried the NCSS and it did not go so well for us. I think like one of the PP said, some babies respond this way to developmental changes. I am just riding it out with the belief that she will get better at sleeping longer herself. Last night I was only woken 4 times which was AMAZING.

Fingers crossed for tonight for you.

Hugs to you hun, sleep deprivation is the worst!

No other advice to offer but I hope something works for you soon! The mattress on the floor in dd's room sounds like a good idea, means you'll be away from your room for a while but she'll get familiar with her room at the same time.

Hope she settles down soon for you and your necklace arrives super quick!

Ah thanks everyone for your advice, it feels so good to know that other babies do this. All the babies at MG are such good sleepers, makes me feel like a failure sometimes.
Last night was quite good, she slept in her cot the whole night and woke up about 7 times which was pretty good, coz I actually slept between the wakings and it was great being able to cuddle up to DH!
I'm getting a new bed in a few days that I'll probably buy a side rail for if she still needs to co-sleep, but I'm going to try and keep her in her cot coz I think we both sleep better that way, weirdly enough!

Our DD would not sleep in our bed at this stage, She seemed to want her own room. On really bad nights we went into her room where we had a queen size mattress on floor against the wall and gave her plenty of space to toss and turn, this seemed to work
The teething necklace also worked wonders for us, 13 hours sleep the night it arrived (We wer averaging 7ish before that)
Good luck

Turtleschell, my DS has been doing what you describe for the last 6 monhts or so. It has lessened now, but it still drives me crazy when he does it. The way I have found to cope with it, is to get us both out of bed, let him play for awhile, then he is able to let me resettle him.

I am in the middle of 'trying' to wean him off feeding to sleep. The days he doesn't feed to sleep he does do better in general with all his sleeps, so with my DS possibly it is a self settling problem.

Its great you made it through the night with him in the cot...i totally get lying in bed awake worrying they are going to fall off the bed - so annoying.

:hug: 9mths was a terrible sleep period for our DD also.... the girls have given some great advice.