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Im due to have number two in march and DD will be 2.5yrs old. We dont have ANY family that could look after her in australia and really no friends close by that would/could do it. id love to have her with me, cause that just seems natural to me, but DH hates the idea, and i dont have a support person for her during the labour anyway....i have NO idea what im going to do!!! what did you do?
Because DS2 was prem, DP stayed home with him and my mum came with me. Sorry I can't help, hope you can sort something out x
meh, just lost a huge post. If your DD goes to CC then the staff there usually have a number of carers on the books who do babysitting, or you could try nanny places to get someone to come stay with her while you & DH go to hospy? Good idea to get arranged early though, so she's comfortable with them. I'm subscribing to this thread too as I just had a huge fight with my g/f who I had lined up to look after Pip...
This was a huge plus for planning a home birth for me. We don't live near family either and my son isn't keen on going to other people. I do have an aunty & her 2 early-teens sons about 45mins away who we will call to play with our son if he's not coping at the birth but I'm guessing even if we do need someone else it'll only be for a couple of hoursof the intense part and the rest we're just home anyway.
I think sharing birth with children is a wonderful thing but I personally would be hesitant to take them along to a hospital birth as they are stuck in a strange room with you and it may be uncomfortable for them.
There was a chance this could have happened to us, and honestly, I have no idea what we would have done.
I hope that you can figure something out.
I have family, so can't help there. But i would certainly ring around and see if you can find a good babysitter now, and maybe have them over a few times to get to know DD now. As PP said, if she goes to childcare ask them too, as often there are girls there that are willing to baby sit, and at least then DD would know them.
I probably wouldn't take her to the birth without a support person especially for her.
I had a friend from mothers group look after Miss j while we had Miss S. I'd help you out, but not sure if i live near you?
We tossed around a few options - phoning my parents had the issue of them taking over 2 hours to get here, longer if my mother was at work - and in the end I had the baby at midnight so we just left the toddler at home sleeping in bed, blissfully unaware of what was happening. The other half was back home within 3 hours, neither child (the older one is 9) woke up. My parents turned up the next morning.
Probably not the best option, but considering I had the baby within 1/2 hour of getting to the hospital if we'd woken the other kids up, got them organised, packed them in the car etc I would have either had the baby in the car in subzero temperatures (I live about 2 mins from the hospital) or in the house while nagging DD#1 to put her clothes on.
You might be surprised at who will step up and help you when you need it, but you may need to ask for some help. Is there any chance of inviting some family from overseas to stay with you and paying half of their costs? Its still a long time away so you would have a chance to save the money. They might be delighted/honoured for the invite? Otherwise, what about paying for a support person for your DD to be there with you or just at home with her? The suggestion of someone from their childcare is a good one, we considered this even though we had lots of family close by.
DH stayed at home with DS and I got a ride with the midwife to the birth center and had DD by myself. Not ideal, but we didn't have anyone that would look after DS.
Like others have said, if she goes to daycare, then you could ask one of them. But if you can't find anyone, then you may have to take her with you. Good luck.
Im not sure if youre near me either but im happy to help if you are :)
My suggestion is to hire a nanny, of course you dont need to use them all the time from now and till then maybe once a week or so, so then DD will be used to the *new person* and will have no problems with the nanny looking after her while you're in labour :)
If we stay in tassie, we'll have the kids at the birth with us. If they start getting freaked out, one of my support people will take them for a walk or something.
If we go to queensland, they'll stay with my IL's while I'm giving birth.
But in answer to your actual question about what we did - DS was not quite 3, and DD1 was not quite 16 months, and Sterla came over and looked after them for me.
Do you have a BB member close to you that you trust to watch her?
If you're anywhere between Brisbane and the Gold Coast I would be happy to help out. It can be so hard when you don't have anyone close. I will have a 2.5 year ols and a 5 month old also so they could keep your little one company.
We're in a bit of a sticky situation too. DF's family isn't suitable to look after DS when we have baby number 2 so we'll be calling both my parents and seeing whoever can make it here fastest. Either way it will take them 1 hour 15 mins to get here, so lets hope I don't labour too fast. I remember thinking the exact opposite with DS, how funny!
im guessing our ds will have to go to my IL's not too happy with that but depends on when and where i go into labour... my mum is determined to be in there with me n dh so she is ruled out of babysitting but i think ill think bout that when i get closer to DD.
I would prob go with the nanny idea... but then again i dont know...
hope u get some answers soon and be more comfortable with knowing what is going to be happening...
we had a homebirth so DD was with us for most of it. but when she got a bit bored and stir-crazy she went with the neighbours for a playdate. do you have neighbours that could watch your DD?
and yeah, if she goes to CC, a few staff might do babysitting...ours do!
and if she does end up being with you guys, i can say that it can be wonderful! my DDs face was alight with happiness when she saw her lil' sister. and she was a great help in rubbing my back during contractions lol.