16 mth old with sleep issues, ready for a change, ready to TTC - ready for sleep!

Hi :hello:
Hopefully this isn't too long - but I've got a 16 month old daughter who we gently parent with lots of night time cuddles and feeds. I feed her to sleep for her (now) 1 nap a day and to bed at night - and I wouldn't mind continuing that as it's a lovely time to unwind and connect.

My struggle is with the constant night wakings - already at 8:44pm - I've been into her 3 times since 7 pm since putting her down to sleep (I've patted her to sleep twice and fed her once). It's been pretty bad for a year now - since getting teeth and we're still waiting on some eye teeth - so that's another thing - so we're experiencing up to 10+ night wakings - and to be honest, I am so tired that I find feeding her back to sleep a much easier option for me at this point in time. It's ok - I'm all ok with this for now - I know its a stage and I know it's because she's teething, so I'm ok with that.

But with all that night feeding - I don't have AF yet, and as crazy as my nighttimes are - I am keen to get my cycle back, so I can prepare my eggies by taking folate etc etc also getting healthy and just feel proactive in creating a healthy egg. I would like to TTC around March, DD will be nearly 2 and I feel for me personally that's a great age (I would love to get out of my breastfeeding clothes sometime this decade! hahaha).

I also feel like I need to slowly get DD prepared to sleep without breastfeeding (my fear is that she'll won't like the taste of my milk if I'm pregnant as I've read a bit of that) - and I want this time, where I am not feeling sick, feeling too tired to make that change, slowly and gently so that it's fair on DD and I'm not just shuffling her out because another bub is on the way.

So - I'd love some thoughts & experiences from anyone that was in / currently in the same boat. Did you make a change before your next child came along and what did you do? I would be very happy to tandem feed children to sleep but honestly, I just want to deal with the frequent night wakings. I have tried to seek out all medical issues - but at this point, I think it's currently teething, and habit. She's starting to finally eat well during the day, so I'm no longer concerned about her being hungry at night (although I am happy for one / two feeds a night - just not the 5+!)

Ok - so how do I go about cutting those nightwakings? I know its going to take some work - but I am really keen for some help..really keen!!!! :wall:

I have read NCSS - only have the babies one - does the toddler one have any different strategies? I'm also currently reading Toddler Tactics...so thats the sort of guides I use..

Would love your ideas please :)

Hi Hun I feel your pain my DD is 16 months and still wakes 2-4 times a night, I haven't had much luck apart from letting her cry just a couple mins then go in lie her down and keep going but if she cries longer than a couple mins I am a softy I go in and give her a bottle you start to wonder how can u fit any more milk in lol! Have u tried offering her a bottle of warm water instead xx

Hi Tattoo_mama! :) Yeh, I wondered about the bottle...she's never taken to bottles (or dummies!! lol) I've tried it a few times in the past and she spits it out and lets me know that she wants the nipple. I've done the same as you, she'll grizzle for a minute or two (mainly to give me enough time to pray she'll keep sleeping!!! lol) and then I rush in and try pat her, when that doesn't work, I give the feed! Trust me I wonder about the milk too - she is on the slightly 'rotund' side hahah.

Maybe that's a start, I can keep a bottle of water with me in bed and see if that works - but you know, I feel like I'm taking away something that's been comforting her IYKWIM? :( I feel so torn..I want to make a change, I want my cycle, but I feel bad for taking away milk :(

It's a good idea to have her drinking water from a bottle or sippy cup now anyway cause they are drinking less an eating more. Try a few diff types of sippy cups she might prefer one type over another. I know it's hard and I don't mind giving in once or twice a night but u gotta remember they don't NEED more than a feed or two at night x

It's a tough one, and I totally know what you mean about not wanting to take their comfort away. I too am taking the gentle approach and happily feeding on demand day or night. But it reached the point where I was getting so tired that I was getting depressed and not-so-gentle (impatient, snappy, not reading her cues well) through the day, so I decided to push the envelope a little, and night weaned. We did an approximation of the Jay Gordon approach (you can find it through Googling his name + night weaning). I didn't push it for the full night, just gradually weaned off until eventually refusing feeds before 5am. We probably had 3 really rough nights (lots of tears but in our arms the whole time) and then a rockyish week after that. That was a few months ago. She then started sleeping from bed time through the night and waking at 5:05 on the dot - like "ok, it's past 5, where's my booby"!! Then off to sleep again 'till about 7. Then last week, with no encouragement or pressure from me, she just stopped asking for boob. Still wakes for a cuddle, but just happy to snuggle in to me and go back to sleep. Ahhhh sleep, how I have missed thee!

All the best for a good night's sleep, the return of AF, and the conception of another wonderful addition to your family. xoxo

She currently has a sippy cup she likes - so I'll just bring that into bed and see how that goes...Santosha - thanks for that recommendation on Jay Gordon - I had a quick look - to be honest, I'd never heard of him before, so I'll do some research on him - but I like the idea of a plan to work through instead of inconsitency that I'm currently working on. But sounds like a gentle plan..just hope that my spirited toddler will be kind to me! ;)

Hi Heda

Our DS has been a challenge at night time pretty much since birth. He still doesn't sleep now. I've always tried gentle approaches and ended up just accepting that he'll sleep when he's ready.

But now that I'm pregnant again my DH and I decided that we really wanted to get some decent sleep before the next bub comes along. Up until now DS was being cuddled to sleep and if he woke in the night I'd repeat this. I really felt that he couldn't self-settle in the night and that's why his nightwaking was increasing.

It is so hard but we are making some changes - still gently but it does seem to be helping DS stay asleep for longer periods at night. The toddler NCSS has some great suggestions if you are ready to make any changes. I felt comfortable with the strategies she suggests - no letting bub get anxious or upset. However with our DS he seemed to 'catch on' with what we were doing if we did things slowly so we've gone for an approach that may seem more abrupt but it's working and DS is not getting upset.

I hope you get some zzzz's soon. It is so hard and I can only imagine how much harder with another baby.

Good luck!

Hi BabyMama - im going to track down the toddler NCSS as my next purchase. Thanks for that recommendation!
We're going through a rough patch with health so no changes for now..will put off starting little steps until we're all well..thanks for the stories of improvements! :)