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As the title says, my wonderful DF has quit smoking today!!! woo hoo so proud of him and hope so much that he can do it for good!
Anyhow I'm wondering what any ex-smokers or anyone can suggest that I can do to help him. I know I can't take away the cravings or the temptation to get a pack, but is there anything that will make it just a little easier?
be nice to him and forgive him if he is a bit grumpy and If possible do as much as you can to keep him occupied. I found I was fine when busy but once i was bored Id crave a smoke.
Good luck to your DH :)
Buy him a copy of Alan Carr's book.
And don't talk about it.
Lime- I think that will be the hardest thing for me, I talk about everything that is happening for me, but I know DF is not a talker when he's going through something so I need to try and not ask him if he's ok etc. Wish I could do this for him cause I can see how hard it is and I hate watching him go through it.
Yeah I can understand that... But all it does is make you think about it which makes you want a smoke.
Like quit ads - worst thing ever for those who are already trying to quit. Right when you havent thought about one for ages the bloody ad comes on andreminds you and all you want is a smoke lol. Uselss.
Anyway Alan Carr's book is most definitely his best bet from my experience. All the best :)
I second the Alan Carr book, and I warned my DH when I quit that if I wanted to talk about it I would, so he wasn't to even think about mentioning it if I hadn't. You'll just have to try and judge it the best you can, and be prepared for some grumpiness. I remember about Day 5 for me, DH came up to me and gave me a hug and said he was so very proud of me and that I smelt awesome. I will never forget that, gave me a real boost, and he never actually mentioned smoking lol
Good luck to your DH, who is now a non-smoker :)
Yeah I haven't spoken to him about not buying a pack when he was at work. Just before he left today I said "I just want to tell you that I'm really proud of you." he said "oh here we go, the don't buy smokes while you're out speech". I said "nope, was just thinking its almost been a whole day and you're pretty amazing."
I figure that positive reinforcement is about the only thing I can say that will help him feel strong.
I agree with the other, best not to ask! My DH is in the middle of quitting too and I've learnt asking about it is not a good idea! and he prepared for the mood swings!
DON'T talk about it!!! I can soo second that!!
Make sure you have PLENTY of munchies in the house -peanuts, stuff like that and something like Soothers :)
I hope he can do it. After a really bad patch I found myslef in the smoking boat again, but I am now up to week 5 of none :)
YAY ME! lol
Well done to your DH :)
Mrs Cinders- congratulations!!!! 5 weeks is a long time. soon you'll blink and it wil be 5 months!
Wow now I think about it I've noticed my DH eating HEAPS HEAPS more than usually since he stopped smoking! I ended up cooking him a second dinner last night:
Well DF who usually never eats breakfast ate a whopping 10 pancakes. Couldn't believe my eyes!
Yep definately don't talk about, even positive reinforcement in my experience isn't great. The more he feels pressure from you (which can be perceived from positive reinforcement) the harder it will be for him. He really needs to be doing it for himself to be successful. I know from my own experience the more DH winged about my smoking, the more pressure I put on myself to quit, but then it became about him, not me iykwim? Even when I quit (unsuccessfully on a few occassions) DH's 'I'm proud of you' just made it harder because I didn't want to disappoint him and it took the focus away for me. Eventually I would start again, just one here and there, and try and hide it from him. Then over time it would creep back in until it came out in the open and resulted in him being disappointed in me etc.
In my opinion, it's far better to just let him tackle it himself in his own way. If he does end up having one, or buying a packet, I think you're best not to comment. He knows you want him to quit, believe me, but it needs to be him wanting to quit. And if he feels that he's going to disappoint you by relapsing he's probably going to try and hide it, which only leads to more problems in my experience.
Anyway, I hope that makes sense, it is just my personal experience, but I think many other smokers (and ex-smokers) have been in the same boat. BTW I quit when I got pregnant and haven't looked back. Chances are he will get there, but it might take a few more attempts after this one. Hope I haven't been too pessimistic.
Miss E- not pessimistic, just honest, honesty is good. Yup I know what you mean and will work really hard on not raising the issue at all. I guess he will come to me if he is needing to talk about it.
Just spoke to him at work and he said he can feel his body detoxing, he's sweating heaps and he's starving big time lol so I suggested dinner and then the pool. God bless the pool! Is it normal to sweat it out a bit? I know its hot but he's sweating more than normal.
Thanks :) Yes I am hoping to make it to over 4yrs again [never again is the goal!] Especially if I get my tubal reversal we are looking into :):
lol yep *nods* I have put on 4kgs in 1.5weeks!:
It's his body reacting to not having what it is craving. He'll go through heaps of changes that you wouldn't think are related to stopping smoking.:
One amazing thing that is happening to me atm is sleep apnoea[sp?]. I have suffered from it since I was born, sometimes for whatever reason it can get really bad. Well giving up smoking has made it worse! We are waiting on our new car so I can go get my machine to have my sleep test. DH has always fobbed it off as being "not that bad" except when I am pregnant. He's changed his tune lately.