is what i am feeling normal or just plain silly?

not sure if this is the thread i should be posting this in but here goes.

DS was born at 34 + 3 weeks due to many complications during my pregnancy. i ended up with polyhydroamnios, grade 4 placenta previa, vasa previa, gestational diabetes on insulin and pre eclampsia. DS was in the scn for 12 days with the first 24 hours in an isolette.

anyway he is now 8 months old and i am still feeling a bit down over the whole pregnancy and birth related issues. i love him so much and i dont have PND but i do get down when i think about my pregnancy and what happened. i am scared to fall pregnanct again in case i get what i had before. also i feel a bit sad when i hear of baby showers for others coz i missed out on mine. when i think of his time in scn i think about how well looked after he was but how bad a couple of the midwives treated me. i keep thinking "if i do this again, will i have another premmie or do i get to take them home when i go". i dont know if i can go thru that all again. sometimes i think that i can.

i guess i just want to know how long does this last for and am i being really silly thinking like this.

sorry for the vent

Massive hugs!
You're not being silly, you had an event filled pregnancy and it sounds like you weren't given the support you required from the midwife. Maybe verbalising your disappointment and concerns with someone approve will be a start.
I was lucky and had a very supportive ob and midwife team, and was happy with the outcome of my pregnancy and birth.
Hope you start to feel better soon x

I still get like that 7 years after my son had a SCN experience. He was born at 37 weeks healthy and huge but within 12 hours it all went downhill. While we don't have a very long stay it was 16 long days for us and I still feel down about it. Especially when I see the photo's of him :(

I think it is perfectly normal to feel this way. (for the record I went on to have 2 more children who did spend a short time in SCN but that was due to GD and jaundice thankfully)

:hug: you are not alone. Perfectly normal way to be feeling.

Brendan, 30+1wks, is now 3yr7m and I still suffer (sometimes daily) from his pregnancy/birth and NICU/SCN experience. I was diagnosed with PTSD when he was about 6-7 months old.

At least if you do fall pregnant again you should be closely watched to make sure the same issues do not arise again. I know it wa with that help that I managed to hold on another 4 weeks and have Tristan at 34+3.

:hug:

thank you so much ladies. it makes me feel better knowing that its normal and not me being silly.

i get asked all the time at the moment whether we are going to have another one and i reply with not sure, scared to get pregnant again. most people are saying that i am being silly for thinking that way and i should just get over it.

i had a friend say the other day that she thought me not watching anything on NICU/SCN babies and being scared was just plain stupid as Hamish wasnt that bad when he was born. easy for her to say, she had an all natural labour and low risk pregnancy! plus she got to go home with her baby after 24 hours. i dont think people truly understand unless they have been where you are.

your kind words mean so much and i thank you all from the bottom of my heart :hug:

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i dont think people truly understand unless they have been where you are.

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Exactly! :hug:

I'm sorry you get some insensitive comments, most of us have been there too. I once got told that I have prems because I'm too lazy to push out a normal baby (WTF?!) absolute morons... some people just don't think about what they are saying.

i got told by DH's cousins wife that i was taking the chickens way out by having a c section! that one annoyed me.

Sorry I don't have knowledge to help with your questions, although i did have an idea on the missed baby shower... how about you turn his 1st birthday into a belated baby shower also... games for the adults and a real baby shower theme... most first birthdays are more adult driven anyway and that way you can have your own baby shower experience

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i got told by DH's cousins wife that i was taking the chickens way out by having a c section! that one annoyed me.

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I got told that when we were pg with Ds3. I said I was opting for a c/s regardless. We were scared and both knew we couldn't have coped with a natural delivery

ETA; I was also told that my Dh's cousin and his wife (they are both nurses as well)