Again? What to do!

Ok, so my DS comes home after being at his dads for a week for the school holidays and tells me that his dad accused him of stealing and told him he is a stealer and had to search him before I picked him up.
WTF? You ask? I ask the same god damn thing!

The story is - he accidently took a Ben10 figurine home from his dads and his dad found out. XDH then calls him said stealer and searches him before he leaves and goes on this rant about how he is not trustworthy etc. DS is 6. 6! This upset him dreadfully and it took 48 hours to convince him he did nothing wrong and is not a thief.

DS had his regular fortnightly weekend visit the weekend just passed and we went for a walk last night and I ask him if he was searched. FFS HE WAS! He says he was standing with his hands in his pockets and his "father" made him turn his pockets out to show what he was hiding! He was hiding his friggen hands!!!!

This is getting beyond a joke.

wow..that's a bit OTT! Your poor DS..bet XDH doesn't realise if he keeps it up your DS isn't going to want to go and visit him anymore. Poor kid :(

Woah, overreaction much?! Sounds like your ex needs a good hard slap across the brain.

so what if he took a ben 10 figurine..
it was prob his figurine :(

poor kid.

being told your a stealer at 6 and un trustworthy is wrong :(

oh, poor kid. :hug:

your poor DS! Does you EXH not realise how impressionable (sp?) kids are at that age and how something like this could affect him for a long time?? What a doosh bag!

Thanks girls...

Yep it is his toy but apparently any toys (including gifts!) DS has at his dads are his dads!!!

DS already hates going - we have him sobbing for a good 24hrs before he goes and he gets hysterical when XDH gets there to pick him up...

I wish SOMEONE ANYONE would slap his brain. DS is a good kid - always honest (even when he has done something wrong) and is a pretty incredible child...

we have the same issue, but reversed.
DS's mum wont let DS bring his toys home at chrissy, he only sees her twice a year max 3 weeks a year if that.
yet he has to wait a whole 12 months to play with them for 2 weeks again.
yet the otehr kids usually break it before he gets to go back and play..

or she wont buy him something as he isn't there etc.
like birthdays, no present as he dosn't go there.
chrissy only gets something every second year.

That's so sad. :hug:

that must be so heartbreaking for you :hug: at least you are there to pick up the pieces - poor kid

Hell, what is wrong with some people?? Talk about perspective :(
Have you spoken to the ex? What a tool!

What a total douche! How can he be so nasty to his own child. You cannot 'steal' your own stuff! and does it even warrant mentioning the butchering of the english language? or do I just shake my head sadly and remind myself that this is just part and parcel of moronic exes.

I'd say to tell him to grow the heck up - before his DS beats him to it. Idiot.

It's getting harder and harder to pick up the pieces - the more damage he does, the harder it gets...
He is such a good child! I don't get why XDH feels the need to ridicule and shame him all the time? He is the biggest bully...
I have tried talking to him and you know what I get? I baby him. I'm turning him into a sook! This is the same man that makes DS go to bed at 6:30pm and get up at 6am.
DS is already far more mature than he could ever hope to be!
As for his use of english, it's good huh? Way to teach and educate your child...

It just kills me! DS is a great kid - you can explain why something is bad or wrong and he won't do it again. I have never had to threaten to smack him, take his toys or ground him. When he does something wrong he gets 5mins time out in his room where he can do what he likes and then I go in and we discuss it. He asks questions, I answer and explain the good and the bad and offer him alternatives. He is empathetic to everyone and will be the first to offer to help someone who needs it.
I just don't get it.

I can't even imagine, it must be heartbreaking for you.
You ex sounds like a real bully.
How does it work if a child refuses visitations? Can you document emotional trauma? There must be some kind of advocate. Maybe someone here will be able to give you some advice. Or legal aid?
I don't have anything useful in terms of advice, I just feel so sad for you and your little boy.
I'm so sorry

is there a way you can get your ds in to see a councellour or phsyc or someone and then go too get the time he has to go reduced on account of xdh being a moron

DS refuses all the time and I have to make him go. If I don't I can be fined and jailed... Then we would have to go live with XDH which would be so much worse!
Currently fighting the powers that be to get DS into counselling... The school is beyond useless - my post about that can be found in the primary and secondary schools section. Social Services have done nothing so we are looking into the cost of a private clinic for DS.
Anyone know a big hole anywhere??

Poor boy :(
It's terrible accusing him like that & calling him a thief all the time... it might make him actually start stealing, you know the saying "give me the name, I'll play the game". I hope he doesnt but your idiot ex has no idea what negative affect that would be having on his son.
Why are there so many stupid "fathers" out there... seriously!
:hug: for your poor little guy :(