Vba2c

I would really like a VBA2C but my husband said that I have to have a c/s - I know it isn't his decision, but I do have to live with him and his crap attitude if I go against him and he told me that he wouldn't be there for the birth (which I don't really mind as he was useless both times anyways - he just feels uncomfortable and akward and I end up spending half the time worrying about him). This baby wasn't planned and he said a condition we have it was taht I have a c/s and get my tubes tied. So I am booked into see my private OB at a private hospital which I know will not allow me to have my VBA2C. I have also called the local public hospital and they told me to get a referral to the midwife program there (I asked if I was high risk for it and they said that they would assess it according to my previous labours, but from what she heard on the phone should be okay). I am also considering a homebirth which I know is my best option, so here is my dilema,

Do I just tell my husband that I am going to have a homebirth and have him be grumpy and unsupportive and making my next 7 months stressful;
Do I book into the public and just make up an excuse as to why I am going there and when I am in labour, just say oh by the way I am not having a c/s you can watch the kiddies while I have the baby;
Book in to private OB and basically do the same as the above option? I have never gone to 40 weeks and would refuse a c/s anytime before 39 weeks and if I hadn't gone into labour by that time, just chuck a sicky;
Try and convince the OB to let me have a VBA2C (okay don't laugh too hard)
Or do I have the c/s as he has a right to see his child be born too?

I don't like to be deceitful but feel that if I am not he will force me into a c/s (I know I am making him sound really horrible, but he is just a control freak and he feels so very out of control when I am in labour and he can't do anything, plus both ended up in emergency c/s and he was quite traumatised by the whole thing).

Any advice would be great

I think that you should do what you think is right for your body - and your husband should just suck it up and accept that you need to make this choice for your own peace - and he should support your decision, whether or not he agrees with it.

My husband was very sceptical about my VBA2C - he saw my disappointment when I didn't get my VBAC and he didn't want me to go through that again. However, he never said that I couldn't do it - he said no to a homebirth though, which I understood, so I went to an independent birth centre instead.

Can you show your husband books and articles that show why a VBA2C is better than a 3rd section? Business of Being Born is a great film to see. Plus Silent Knife is a great book about why a VBAC is better than a section.

At the end of the day - its you that has to deal with the pain of a recovery of a c-section, not your husband. And I think its pretty nasty of him forcing you to do something to your body that HE thinks is best.

:hug: