WHY do we FF? **NOT A VENT THREAD**

**PLEASE NOTE - this thread is not to belittle anyone...its to help others see the other side ;) **

Id love to start a thread (this one) so that woman can share why they choose to Formula Feed their babies. My intensions are not to start slinging matches ect, I just think as BF is very important to woman so to is the reason's to why woman FF.

FF mum's are not monsters..they educate themselves, most have tried and failed to BF and there fore some have alot of self doubt on their abilities and get upset when others around openly state how easy it is to BF.

MY STORY
DS1 - I was uneducated. Plain and simple. I tried and tried but after having an Emergency C/S after 22 hours of labour I was drained. I claimed defeat after my mum told me I needed to 'get a bottle'. I could kick myself for it now, if only I trusted myself. N was formula feed from day 2.

DS2 - Not wanting to go down the same road I took formula and bottles to hospital with me straight away. I remember sitting on my bed in the ward the night before looking at them and crying at myself for having them. DS was born and I tried...he screamed and screamed when ever I picked him up. The lacto even couldnt settle him for me to get him to even attempt to latch on. He was FF from then on. At 18 months old DS2 had a pre-diagnoses of autism....which th epead explained was why he screamed when ever I picked him up.

DD1 - BF straight away in recovery!! OMG it was WONDEFUL! But not knowing how hard it owuld be with 2 other children, especially one with SN who got gastro at DD 5 week mark made it very hard for me...no support network sucks big time. Formula was bought and DD was FF from then on.

DS3 - BF from birth, I demanded that they take him out of his humi crib in the NICU so I could BF him. I was lucky enough to have J man home for the first 2 weeks, made BF a hell of alot easier especially with an active toddler. At 2 weeks of age we were rushed to the Royal Childrens Hospital in Melbourne as DS3 suffered multiple strokes...I had nothing better to do then to express and BF him for the time we were there. by the time we had gotten home BF was well established and we continued until almost 8 months when he self weened.

I hope that my FF-BF experience can help and maybe open the eyes of some. You may read my story and disagree with what I did or say you could have done it another way...but its the way I choose to do things and it worked for us. FF was there for us when we needed it. No woman should feel insecure for her parenting or feeding ways....we are insecurein ourselves enough without the added pressure.

xxx

I BF DD for 3 months. Wish i did it for longer.

But my situation on going on FF was that i had to return to work and could not express as I work 2hrs away from home so by the time the milk got back home it would have been off.

Also, its not a very women friendly environment where i work.

I absolutely loved BF, loved it loved it loved it but that doesnt make me a bad mum to switching over to FF as I shower DD with the most love any Mum can give their children and in the end that was what's important to us

DD1 had a very bad tongue tie, i literally couldnt feed her, i expressed for a few weeks but got over that pretty quickly and she ended up on formula.

DD2 was BF till about 6.5-7 months when she started breast refusal, i'd just been very very sick and decided not to fight her and gave her formula and allowed my body to get back to 100% to look after her properly.

I wouldnt change either decision if i had my time again, at the time when i made the decision to FF it was what was best for me and my babies, and thats whats most improtant

I wasnt comfortable replying to the other thread as i dont normaly get involved in BF V FF, but couldnt stop thinking about it and i thought, why doesnt someone start up 'another thread' :)

I breast feed, have been for 26 months, it was hard to start with, but i was lucky, i had support and DD attached easily after the first few weeks. I have friends who were desperate to BF and couldnt and were devistated, i also have friends who are terribly missinformed and didnt even try or gave up cause they were told there milk was sour or told to express so they could measure how much they were getting into baby only to find out they couldnt express alot and switched.

I think education is important but so is support, understanding and education that some times...breast feeding isnt possible!

Thanks for sharing your story Maz, its interesting to see both sides to such a sensitive subject!

Fantastic thread Maz!

I had a 16 hr labour with DD and we ended up having an emerg C sect due to failure to progress and she was struck. For 3 days I was told my milk would be in anytime - I had LC's try annd try to get DD to latch and she wouild but would pull off as there was just no milk. I didnt get a drop no colostrum, nothing. So after 3 days of no food I demanded that they give me some formular to give to DD and she took to it and we have never looked back.
I felt like a HUGE failure, but now I am just glad that I had the option to feed my beautiful, stunning and very cleaver DD!

I will again try BF with number 2 on the way - but I know that If I gove my best shot and it again doesnt work that this bub will be as healthy and happy as his/her sister!

Kate xox

Thanks to Maz for starting this thread and thanks to all who've replied.
Although I BF Moo I'm always interested in hearing other people's experiences. I've actually been wanting to start a thread like this but didn't know how to ask.

I wanted desperately to BF DS. I tried for almost a week but my milk just didn't come in, not even colostrum. He kept refusing the breast and screamed constantly so in the end I gave him formula.

DD1 - I put her straight on to formula after the experience I had with DS, again I didn't get any milk.

DD2 was also put straight on formula then after a week or so I started to get milk but only in 1 breast. I probably could have BF her if I'd persevered but she was already established so I didn't bother.

I have since found out that my grandmother couldn't BF her 5 kids for the same reason.

Doing my studies has tought me a lot more about all this and made me realise its NOT always in the mothers power to control these things eg: Certain interventions during labour can make breastfeeding difficult if not impossible.

I continue to learn from you lovely ladies and because of you I will be an even better, more understanding Doula/breastfeeding Doula:)

DS1 I b/fed for 10mths then put him on formula, mostly because my mother told me that he was old enough and it hadn't harmed me, so be naive I did.

DS2 I b/fed for 15 weeks he was very hungry and was feeding every 2hrs over night and during the day and I was exhausted and went and saw the Dr who suggested I comp him every 2nd feed. So gave him his first bottle then next feed try the boob and he refused me and did everytime after, I was devastated and wished that I had given in but, he thrived and slept longer then 2hrs. I still to this day regret it but I need a break.

DS3 once again fed until 10-11mths and once again my naivity (sp) I thought he was old enough to go on to formula so I did.

DS4 I came across BB when I fell pg and found that it is quite normal to fed over 12mths so I feed him until 18 1/2 months, no formula

DS5 My confindence in my self built by feeding DS4 for as long as I did I now wanted to go longer, so DS5 is now 2yrs and 3days and I having been feeding him that long and I'm proud of myself for that.

These are my stories that made my who I am today.

I persevered with fully BFing DS until he was about 3 months old, then I switched to a combination of FF and BF, then went to full FF at about 5 months. He had a reflux so all he wanted to do was suck and suck to take away the pain, although he actually wasn't drinking much. We tried dummies, Gaviscon etc and I also tried expressing but it just didn't work for me - I would only produce a few drops with the pump. I nearly went crazy, not being able to leave the house without him because he wanted to feed from me every hour or so.
I am the same as Skybie - I don't regret my decision at all. I sometimes think that if the doctors had of diagnosed his reflux earlier and got him onto the meds which made a massive difference, it may of been easier to continue BF. But one of the most postive things that came out of it was that my DH is a night owl and absolutely loved doing the night feeds, so it was lovely that he could share that with our son.

I FF DS1 from approx 4 weeks from memory.

I got terrible mastitis with DS1 a few weeks in, with no education I had no idea what to do or look for and before I knew it I was in hosp on a drip. DH had to stay with me as the nurses said they were too busy to be able to deliver the care I would need....I could hardly get out of bed! So i would express before I attached DS1 etc whilst in hosp but the antibiotics were going through him something bad & I was not comfortable with this. It was here that we decided to FF, I did then settle back into home (remote WA), and tried to establish the BF again. When asking the doctor for the tablets to help my milk supply he had to google it (WTF?) after feeling ill for a bit from the tablets I went back to another doc to find out I'd been given the tablets to dry my milk up!!! a big WTF!!!!! I had been attaching DS1 at each feed then giving him a bottle for weeks for no reason. It was here our jouney ended.
I have been BF DS2 now for 10months and going strong.

I FF DS1..this was my choice and my choice alone right from conception and in fact before I even became pregnant and DH went with it. I was nervous and un-educated about BF so decided to go with FF. It worked for us and my DS1 thrived, was in fact the healthiest baby out of all my Mother's group who all BF, never got a sniffle until he was at least 3yrs old Lol!
When I was pregnant with DS2 my OB asked me if I was going to BF, it was not a loaded question, just a question. I gave it a go, had a terrible time to start with, and then when AF returned another terrible time, got over the terrible times and it worked.
With DD it worked straight away, no attachment problems, no milk not coming in problems and no starving screaming baby waiting for my milk to come in.

I really am happy that I had a mix of both BF and FF. It makes it alot easier for me to both sides. Or is perhaps I am little more chilled these days, that old saying..never a judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes ;)

Wonderful thread Maz :)

well guess wat i gave up and put DS on formula at 5 days old it was 3 in the morning my nipples were hurting so bad and i just couldn't cope that was it now hes a happy healthy 17 month old and yes i regret it but if i didnt i probably would have PND and now im just looking forward to a better journey with #2

With DS I was just 18 had moved from Cairns to Brisbane with no friends or family just DS' dad who was no support and was completely uneducated. According to his family everything I did was wrong and after 2 very stressful weeks post birth and DS not putting on weight I gave in and FF. Mind you in hospital I had no access to LC and the midwives kept telling me it happens naturally and i was making it into more of a deal then it needed to be. I feel asleep with DS in the hospital bed with me while BF and after that I wasnt allowed him overnight as I would 'kill him'.
With DDs I got a breast pump, feeding pillow, read heaps about BF but being seperated from my kids for 3 weeks (them in hospy, me at home with DS and the midwives discouraging BF, they only wanted EBM) and my confidence taking a dive, it didnt work. FF made the most sense to me with 3 babies that all wanted feeds at the same time. I had such a hard time with my decision so continued to express/BF one child a day until 5 months but I had so much trouble with it.

I BF DD1 for 6 weeks, when she was 4 weeks old i got sick & unfortunately the medication i had to go on didn't agree with her.
I tried taking the medication at different times but it didn't work.

With DD2 i was really lucky that i got to BF her for 15 months before i got sick & had to wean for the same reasons as DD1.

For so many, many reasons...

Firstly, Sam was born four weeks early with very low blood sugars and he needed something quickly in order to get them stabilised. I was given a choice of a glucose drip, or formula. I chose the formula as it seemed less traumatic. And so it began.

I desperately wanted to breastfeed him, so once we were able to, I tried as often as I could to feed him. In the early days I had a lot of support in SCN as there was only one other baby in there and her mother had gone home and she was being formula fed. We tried. I had nurses helping me express frequently, we tried to put Sam to the breast as often as we were allowed, but being a premature baby he had lots of trouble attaching and sucking and couldn't maintain it for any great length of time. But we persisted.

Then after a few days he had some breathing issues. His paed said I was no longer allowed to breastfeed him for a few days, but we kept expressing. He was doing reasonably ok with bottles when he was allowed to have a suck feed, but at this point, he was mostly having tube feeds. I would pump at every feed, whether it be a suck feed or tube feed, but no matter what we did, I was never able to get more than 3mL of colostrum in one session. Even with motillium, even when we were home, after two weeks of pumping constantly I could still not even manage to get even 3mL of colostrum each time.

I was in pain from the pump, I was in pain from my arthritis, I'd need to express for a week to be able to give him enough for even one feed. The pain from the arthritis was becoming so crippling that I was having trouble picking up and holding my 2.5kg baby. I stopped. I started taking the medications I needed to treat the arthritis, but that meant I could not feed my son without making him very sick.

I have since found out that my ridiculously high insulin levels (I have severe insulin resistance) mean that it will always be hard for me to have my milk come in. I've also discovered that it's pretty certain that I have tubular breasts - meaning the breast tissue didn't form properly at puberty (also related to the PCOS and insulin resistance, apparently) and the tissue that makes milk just isn't there.

So, even without the stress of a premature birth and with a baby that could attach properly, I have come to accept that the best I will be able to do with subsequent children (if there are any) is give them SOME breastmilk. I feel that it is pretty much impossible considering all my health issues to EXCLUSIVELY breast feed a baby for any significant length of time.

But formula exists. Formula sustained my son when my body could not. It may not be the best source of nutrition for him, but it was the only one we had available.

BW

Great thread Maz.

DD1 - i BF until she was around 6mths old, i loved it and although we had a rough start i persevered UNTIL i got gallstones, the pain was unbearable and i ended up in hospital, i waited for months for an operation and when we finally got to go in DD wouldn't take EBM, so poor DP had to try and get her to take formula.
It was the hardest thing in my life knowing that she would be screaming for me and i couldn't be there, that we were giving her formula when i actually HAD milk.
So we got through the op, we kept FFing until i was in less pain and no longer taking pain killers then we went back to BFing but it didn't feel the same, my supply had suffered and i was pushing myself and DD to get it back to normal.
Then trouble struck and i ended up in hospital for 6 days on IV fluids, nil by mouth and only armed with an express pump as i was on strong pain killers and even though DP was bringing DD to see me i couldn't feed her.
Needless to say my milk dried up, by the 4ht day i had no energy, i was getting nothing from expressing and i was stressing myself over it.
The WANT to continue BFing her was killing me, it was taking all my energy and i couldn't do it.. i cried, for HOURS about the fact i couldn't feed her anymore.
I knew i was making the best decision for her, she was growing so quickly with the formula (previously she was gaining but not a lot), she was content and i didn't want to keep stuffing her around.

This time round i am still BFing and i am proud of that, but i am also proud of the fact i made it to 6mths with DD1 and at the time i made a choice that was beneficial for us both.

Some people made me feel like cr@p back then for stopping BFing, others asked why i had not put her on the bottle earlier.. you can't win either way.... be proud of the decision you make as it's often made to the best of your knowledge and with the most perfect of intentions of helping your child... :grouphug:

My children have been breastfed for the most part. However formula feeding has allowed me some small freedom. It has meant that I have been able to leave my babies in the care of my husband or parents whilst I worked for a couple of hours, went to the gym, spent a night in emergency, went out to my DH's work function, attend a funeral. When 2 out of 3 of my babies decided to wean themselves at 10months of age, it meant that there was an alternative I could give them to ensure they were getting the healthiest alternative available.

When my DS1 was about 2yrs old (who had been breastfed until 1.5yrs), he had some health complications, which resulted in a poor appetite and an even worse diet. Putting him on formula allowed him to regain badly needed vitimins and minerals, which healped his health and allowed him to regain much needed weight without going to more extreme measures.