Challenge of infant led BFing at night

DD is leading our BFing, well at least I think she is LOL. She generally feeds when she wakes up, if she fusses and perhaps a top up before settling her. I don't really think too much about it although I think I am doing some of the leading as it suits me to have her topped up before bed so she may sleep longer.

During the night however, she tends to have a big sleep in the evening until about 10-12 then a big feed draining both boobs. However she has gotten into the habit lately of waking 2 hours later fussing and I pop her dummy in and soothe her back to sleep then she may sleep another hour before demanding a feed but then falling asleep at the boob after a few sips, only to wake less than an hour later, once again demanding a feed and falling asleep again after a few sips and repeating the cycle until morning which means I am shattered by 7am. This morning I tried to get her to feed more by tickling her, talking to her etc in vain as she just slept on (and she can be a light sleeper).

So while it would suit ME to have her have bigger feeds in the night, I'm letting her (or failing to successfully wake her) lead the way. So my challenge is do I just allow her to wake hourly in the early hours or encourage her to remain awake and have a bigger feed because it would suit me.

We are cosleeping but she is in her snuggle bed next to me in the bed so I get up to feed her in the chair as its too difficult with her hip harness in bed.

Any thoughts?

that sounds kind of normal. have you tried feeding her when she wakes up at the feed 2hrs later when you normally give her the dummy?

do you unwrap her/take the covers off when you feed her? obviously you don't want her to be cold, but a little cooler can help them to be a little more wakeful. do you do any nappy changes over night? a change before a feed could help her wake a little more....i couldn't do that one because DS was hysterical by the time we got to the feed, but often i would change him in the middle of a feed (between sides).

sorry, don't know if any of that helps! some of it may just be reassurance that mum is there & available!

At such a young age, I would just keep doing what you're doing. I know it's hard and tiring (and I do know, DD1 used to feed 3 hourly around the clock until 6 months, I never got a break) but she's still so young. It sounds like it's more comfort than hunger (well at first anyway), but babies can certainly grow out of that.

DD always had dirty nappies overnight as a newborn so I would change her and then try to give her a big feed if she would stay awake that long. I would tickle her feet/ under her chin to try to keep her awake long enough but of course if she was really out of it it didn't work!

I keep the room pretty warm so cooling her down a bit may help as will changing her nappy (I'm so fuzzy headed I didn't even think of that). Every week is a different challenge, normally I find it hard to get her back to sleep but this week its the opposite :doh:.

Thanks for your thoughts!

I keep the room pretty warm so cooling her down a bit may help as will changing her nappy (I'm so fuzzy headed I didn't even think of that). Every week is a different challenge, normally I find it hard to get her back to sleep but this week its the opposite :doh:.

Thanks for your thoughts!

You need to go to bed in the early evening when she does for a few days - it's your best chance for a decent rest.

Every week they throw and new trick at you!

I'm not really sure how you can get her to feed more fully and therefore wake less except for feeding one side and changing a nappy and then offering the other side. It sounds like she might just be wanting snuggles and comfort though but it's hard to tell isn't it.

I hope it works. It would be nice to get more than one hours sleep at a time!

If she is really sleepy she might be having a growth spurt - usually follows a period of fussiness and ravenous eating. One day it's all eat, eat, cry, eat and the next - zonk. Usually passes in a few days to a week. It's constantly changing at this stage so I second Kmn's advice - roll with it and get your sleep any time or way you can!

Lenny your post in my other thread has really helped me cope with all this change & unsettled behaviour. DD is spending much of today sleeping in our arms. Pixie she is doing all those things. I figure it's a Wonder few Weeks! I feel for her as she's been so sheltered as I was unable to get about for ages & now we are starting to expose her to the world more & it's very overwhelming for her. Had a disasterous first mothers group today & we both came home early in tears. Thankfully fairy grandma arrives tomorrow to help out. Trying to focus on the special moments on days & nights like today.
Kmn been doing that when I can to help get me through the days.

part of what may help is to put some effort in to teaching her about "daytime" - for example waking her for a feed every 3 hours during the day, taking her outside and letting her see the light and the daytime and hear the noises. Usually bubs that wake heaps at night have their "nighttime" (a big 4+ hour sleep) during the day - so turning that around can help. Don't stress the Mum's group - it happens - and over the course of the sessions it will happen to most of the Mums and Bubs there.

Sounds like a very normal sleep/feed pattern. Definitely go to bed when she does and make the most of that long stretch.
And Kmn's right - all those mums and bubs will have days like that too.

Hi dusty,
I was thinking last night that maybe your DD is just struggling to resettle without you because of the harness. When we wake up in the night we roll over and resettle or move our 'dead' leg etc. Maybe she is waking just a little and then trying to move a little and the harness is stopping that. Does that make sense? DS2 is sleeping with us at night and he moves about quite a bit (and kicks and punches us!). I know he's a lot older, but it could be the same thing. Maybe DD just needs a bit more extra help in resettling and getting comfortable.

Hope you slept better last night,
:hug: