Dear Bellyboy,
I'm more than happy for you to continue your residency for the next 10 or so weeks, but I feel as though you're taking advantage of my hospitality. The time has come for me to lay down some "house rules" I'd like you to adhere to for the remainder of your stay.
1. Please stop the late night parties, I need my sleep.
2. Please stop resting on my bladder at the most inconvenient of times, this includes DD's night time bottle when I'm getting her off to sleep and can't just dash to the loo.
3. Please stop putting thoughts of chocolate into my head, just because you feel like it doesn't mean my hips and bum want it.
4. Although i'd like you to keep growing, could you please keep the stretchmarks to a minimum. DD didn't give me any, maybe you could follow in your older sisters footsteps? (The ones you've already given me can stay I suppose... but no more please!)
5. I'd really like to be able to sleep at night without waking due to heartburn and reflux, it's gross and nobody likes it. Whatever you're doing to cause this, please refrain from doing in future.
6. Although i'm appreciative of your efforts to get into position, your head if actually not very comfortable on my groinal region and is putting alot of pressure on it. Feel free to use the space available to you for a while longer yet, there's fun things to do up the top as well you know.
7. Please DO hang in there until EDD, although i'm anxious to meet you you don't want to be born on Christmas Day, trust me.
8. Please respect the sacrifices my body is making for you and think of that when you make your way into the world. You could repay the favour by sleeping through the night, BFing like a pro, and not screaming for hours on end for no apparent reason.
9. Feel free to wait as long as possible before engaging... surprisingly enough I don't particularly feel like walking with an invisible rockmelon between my legs that feels as though it's about to drop out any second.
10. Keep trucking along in there beautifully, and let's keep it a problem free pregnancy... it'd be wonderful to avoid being induced this time.
I may be back in correspondence with you from time to time to add to this list, please understand that I'm not trying to make things difficult for you... I'd just like a mutual understanding and respect between us.
Sincerely,
Mummy aka "Host Body"
P.S - I love you so much already and can't wait to meet you!
