Sucking problems - gender based?

May seem like a stupid question but I guess I'm just curious to people's opinions.

DS was a great sucker, however his attachment was super bad, and with no help or support I turned to formula really early. If I had of had support (or the right help) I may have been successful breastfeeding him because he had such a good strong suck.

DD1 had an uncoordinated suck. It was so bad that the midwife couldn't even get her to take a bottle properly, without most of it spilling everywhere, she just couldn't seem to get her tongue in the right place and suck at the right time. I didn't try to breastfeed her, and I'm glad I didn't, otherwise I would have gone crazy. Even my SIL told me (who did successfully bfeed her kids) that she was really bad at sucking and I should be grateful that I didn't try because it would have just been a disaster.. lol

DD2 never put her lips in the correct position, and therefore never drained the breast, leading to low supply - which I didn't know could happen, I used nipple shields for the pain because she never put her lower lip out properly, and didn't until she was over 7 months - even with months of training with a dummy and the bottle teat, she still took 7 months to get her lips in the right position.

Now I've been told I'm having another girl, and I'm worried that the same thing is going to happen. I wanted to successfully breastfeed this one, and I was hoping it would be a boy (but don't want to get into that here) and now I'm concerned that since its a girl - will it have the same problems sucking as the other two? Or is it just a coincidence that both of them were a bit spaz at feeding?

My boys have both been great suckers :lol: but I know plenty of mothers who have BF daughters, so all girls can't be spaz at feeding. Hopefully it was just the 2 you have already and DD3 will be able to get her lips and tongue to do the right things. :p

Is it possible that the issues your DD1 had is because it was a bottle?
I know that none of mine have taken to a bottle very well, coz they open their mouths wider, because thats what they should be doing at the breast.

I think you should read every thread for hints on attachment & getting it right, coz there are things you can do to help. eg. with DS I'd often hold his chin & bottom lip open as a NB to get a better latch.

:hug: on the girl thing.

Nah, it's not a gender thing. My DS had issues early on, just took some practice to get the hang of it. And I remember watching a friend of mine with her 4-day old girl and she was such a natural!

Well I've successfully breastfed 3 girls without any problems at all.

No, I don't think it would be a gender thing. DD had really bad attachment too at the start and I ended up with cracked and grazed nipples which was really bloody painful and awful. But we were able to get through it. I think you just have to find what works for you and get some great support lined up. If you're really determined to do it I am positive you can!

DD1 was a crap sucker, all the way up to 5 1/2 months when she FINALLY learnt how to attach properly without me wincing with pain every time, I used shields for the first 10 weeks with her, I had supply issues but I hesitate to say it was because of the shields based on my experience with DD2.

DD2 is a great sucker, she has been from day 1 and for a 35 weeker that is bloody great :D She went "bad" when my milk came in and it resulted in nasty fissues on both breasts and badly cracked, lots of bleeding :( But I fed through it, expressed for 5 minutes before each feed to soften the breasts, and started using a shield while they were healing. We are 3 weeks in and my supply is huge in comparrison to what it was with DD and that is using a shield, I am not where near as stressed this time, I had plans in place and I used my experience to get through. I am giving her more time before weaning off the shield, she does feed without it, generally after she has shaken the ravenous thirst and isn't going to attempt to clamp down so quickly.

We are going to wean off the shields fully in the next few weeks but if it doens't happen I am not going to get concerned. I have a bountiful supply this time you can "hear" it, and DD is at the moment only taking one side a feed...

My whole experience this time has been different, both girls both very different experiences, I feel that for me, my mental state of mind has played a BIG role in how well we are going .

Good Luck hun and happy to share anything that I did differently xxoo

DD1 was a crap sucker, all the way up to 5 1/2 months when she FINALLY learnt how to attach properly without me wincing with pain every time, I used shields for the first 10 weeks with her, I had supply issues but I hesitate to say it was because of the shields based on my experience with DD2.

DD2 is a great sucker, she has been from day 1 and for a 35 weeker that is bloody great :D She went "bad" when my milk came in and it resulted in nasty fissues on both breasts and badly cracked, lots of bleeding :( But I fed through it, expressed for 5 minutes before each feed to soften the breasts, and started using a shield while they were healing. We are 3 weeks in and my supply is huge in comparrison to what it was with DD and that is using a shield, I am not where near as stressed this time, I had plans in place and I used my experience to get through. I am giving her more time before weaning off the shield, she does feed without it, generally after she has shaken the ravenous thirst and isn't going to attempt to clamp down so quickly.

We are going to wean off the shields fully in the next few weeks but if it doens't happen I am not going to get concerned. I have a bountiful supply this time you can "hear" it, and DD is at the moment only taking one side a feed...

My whole experience this time has been different, both girls both very different experiences, I feel that for me, my mental state of mind has played a BIG role in how well we are going .

Good Luck hun and happy to share anything that I did differently xxoo

All babies are born to be breastfed. We would not have lasted long as a species if one gener or the other couldn't have breastfed. So, be reassured that your little one has the potential to breastfeed fine. Knowledge is power - get the support you need now, before the baby is born

Thanks guys - I hope nobody took it as me slamming girls saying that they couldn't breastfeed - I was mainly asking about MY girls, maybe its a genetic thing that MY girls can't breastfeed properly because they are girls? I dunno.. like I said, it was a stupid question and I didn't mean to offend anyone who has girls.

Clover - I don't think it was a bottle thing, cos DD1 didn't know any different, she was never put on the breast.

I am determined to succeed this time round - hopefully I will have support depending on where I live, although I'm worried if I'm in Queensland again I won't have a good support network from the hospital because they never really helped me much in the first place.

I get that, but a babies natural reflex is to open their mouth as wide as possible for the breast. Their mouths aren't made for a bottle teat. :dunno: just a thought.

Anyway, you have BB, & you know where to go to get the help & support you need. I personally think the biggest key to successful BFing is stubborness, & laziness, lol. Too stubborn to stop, too lazy to make a bottle ;) That's what I think anyway, lol.

Fwiw, any amount of BM your bub gets is gold. Even if it is 3 days of colostrum & nothing more. That little bit is better than none at all :)

If you're up here, just ask for someone else if the MW isn't being helpful. Or I'll come in and tell them they aren't helping & to get someone else.

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I get that, but a babies natural reflex is to open their mouth as wide as possible for the breast. Their mouths aren't made for a bottle teat. :dunno: just a thought.

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Nah, she wasn't opening her mouth wide enough in the first place, that was the problem, it was like she had lock jaw or something...

Snowy - If I have bub up there, I'll call on you to be my own personal LC ;)

I have 3 boys and they have all been different.

DS1 - suction birth, really sleepy and jaundice refused to even look at my boob. Eventually went home with a nipple shield (i'm a bit on the flat side too which doesn't help) saw a lacatation consultant at 6 weeks was not overlly impressed with her approach at all, even told me as he had 100 mls of formula in hospital as he was getting sick I'm wasting my time with breastfeeding as he has lost all the benefits. Anyway I stuck to my guns kept feeding with a shield till about 5 months and by then he was able to attach. He does have a short tongue

DS2 - attached although took a bit of effort, breastfed with no sheild he has a really long tongue which I think helped.

DS3 - first thing I checked when he was born was his tongue, it was short like his older brother, I mentioned it to fantastic midwife and she said he had a slight tongue tie and that I should just go with the shiled, this worked and by about 12 weeks as I knew what I was doing better than first time round I managed to get him to attach without the shield.

So in short I think sometimes other solutions help get you through that newborn stage, maybe a shield might be the way to go until they are a bit stronger and can maintain the latch on the breast. Good luck with it all I know how hard breastfeeding can be given I none of my children were the sort the you could just whack out boob and on they would go.