Help with attachment

Help!!!
My DD is 3 1/2 weeks old and i have benn trying to BF since birth. She had a tongue tie snipped at 2 weeks.
I was talking to midwife yesterday as i have been having trouble attaching her and as i have 2 other chn i have started using a bottle for a few feeds and this has been increasing more and more over the last couple of day. The midwife sat with me and showed me how to attach her correctly and as per usual she attached beautifully and had a good feed then a great sleep, but as soon as we tried this at home she got frustrated crying and wigling about and not attaching.....so of course i end up in tears and she gets a bottle because it is all too much, well it has been happening like this all yesterday and today and i just dont know what to do. I really wnat to BF but neither DD or i can find a comfortable position to do this and the attachment is very difficult. I know that there is a BF clinic on Tues but i don't know if i can wait to then and if i do and she ends up having full formula feeds will i be able to try BF again or am i just holding onto the chance that won't happen. If feels different with this bub and i really want to try and get this to work........................
HELP i really need it at the moment :)

I know how you feel. :hug: They are so so different. DS2 was a fbaulous feeder, but DS1...
DS1 had terrible attachemnt. The midwife dismissed by suggestion that he had a tongue tie. It was not until 7 weeks that they agreed with me and sent me to have it snipped.
I went to 6 bf day stays with him. At the first 5, he would always feed pretty well and put on a show, then I would go home andgenerally be reduced to ears at the next feed..dreading him waking up for feeds..wishing he would stay asleep etc
Did anyone that you saw suggest nipple shields at all? Is there a lactation consultant available for one on one, outside the BF clinic that you may be able to see sooner? Or a private LC near you?
Or an ABA cousellor that you could ring - anything to get you through until tuesday?

:hug: Your DD is still so young - you have time to sort this out.
Give the ABA a call - they will be able to give you some advice to keep you going for now at least. Seeing a lactation consultant in your own home may also be helpful - you have to pay but it's worth it. Then the bf clinic is only a few days away.
The ABA website also has some useful information on attachment - I don't have the links, sorry, but you could have a look yourself.

It sounds like you are having a very difficult time :hug: Those early weeks can be so hard when feeding is not going well.

I would start by calling the ABA helpline on 1800 mum 2 mum (1800 686 2 686, drop the last 6 for VOIP). This is toll-free, 24 hours, 7 days a week and you don't have to be a member. The counsellors are all mums themselves so understand what you are going though. They can talk through some suggestions and give you some support.

Baby led attachment (BLA) often works when attachment is not going very well otherwise. To do this try sitting comfortably in a reclined position when your DD is calm, and place her between your breasts. Gently support her as she moves to one side, finds the nipple and attaches herself with little or no help from you. Often allowing the baby to use their own instincts to attach can work better. There is more information here - Australian Breastfeeding Association - Baby-led attachment and a video clip here - Biological Nurturing sample scenario.

If you are still not having success, a good Lactation Consultant can be well worth the money. Sometimes babies with tongue-ties also have high palates which can affect attachment, or there could be something else going on. There is a register of well qualified LCs here - Australian Lactation Consultants Association Ltd - ALCA - Find a Consultant

Best of luck hun.

Just a suggestion - it is very very difficult to attach a surly sad tiny baby.
If the bottle calms her down then give her a little bit of her bottle and then try attaching again - she'll be in sucking mode, and not ravenous, and you will be calmer!

And if she's happy, even if you don't think she's hungry, attach her - you both will get some practice. Don't wait for her to be crying before trying to attach.

Good luck!

I don't have any wise advice to add, but just wanted to come in with a hug :hug: & a cheer for you. I know how hard it is trying to attach a small unhappy flailing octopus! The ladies above have given some great advice... and I don't want you to look back and regret what you did not do - so ask yourself, should I have got more help? should I have given myself a break? What is the best way for me to feed right now that still keeps our options open? The nicest thing is that nothing will be irretrievably lost in the next hour or so... you can work it out one feed at a time. Good luck and roll on Tuesday :hug:

my only tip is that if/when you guys get upset when feeding, pop your boobs away, stand up with her and cuddle, cuddle, cuddle. get her nice and calm...ABA also recommends first calming them, then try again...even if not straightaway. sometimes we have waited up to an hour...when she is calm and sleepy :)

we too are experiencing poor attachment, and poor bubs gets really frustrated (especially when i try to attach her properly). so i do feel for you xx

Thanks ladies for all your advice... i have been doing lots of reading today and trying different positions etc but it hasn't worked sadly... My right nipple is extremely painful to touch let alone for DD to BF and my left side just isn't working either. She seems to get herself to far below the breast and i cannot seem to help her position herself to latch on at all :( so she has ended up having bottles.... i just dont know what to do.....it looks like we might have another FF fed bub. If i continued to try each feed and had to FF and then attended the clinic on Tuesday what do you think my chances of successfully feeding will be? The only thing is finding someone to watch my DS (23mths) while i am at the clinic????
You ladies are all so amazing and thankyou again :)

If you are able to hand express a few times a day (see Parenting and Child Health - Health Topics - Breastfeeding - expressing and storing breastmilk for how to) then you will be able to maintain some sort of milk supply and avoid mastitis.
If you can hang in there for a few more weeks your baby will grow and attaching will be much much easier - the trick is to keep up enough feeding or expressing that by the time bub has grown there is some supply there and you can slowly wean her off the formula and back to the boob.
Call the ABA and get them to talk you through attaching again as well.