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Hubby and I may have to try IVF soon (if things don't happen in the next 3 months) and I'm really concerned about not only the cost but also the emotional strain it might put on our relationship. He's so very supportive but as it is I'm already afraid my depression and constant mood swings will get too much for him without adding the stress that comes with IVF.
I was just wondering what experiences others have had.
Thanks for sharing :)
Tina,
IVF can be very draining - both financially and emotionally. Of course its not helped by the tonnes of hormones that will be coursing through your body. However, you can find so many women on this site who have had wonderful success and are now holding their babies as a result.
If your relationship is strong and you go into the whole thing with realistic expectations - not just of the procedures, but also of each other - you are likely to come through it just fine.
Plus, of course, coming on this forum and venting and letting it all out can help save you from inundating hubby with it all too ;)
Hi there, well I've done IVF and agree with Keen on how emotionally taxing it can be. The financial cost is nothing compared to that. It does play havoc with your hormones, but really how difficult it is just depends on whether you get a BFP or a BFN at the end and how prepared you and your DH are to cope with that. It is MUCH worse getting a BFN after IVF than with any other type of cycle, as you have invested so much into it, both with emotions, physically and financially. If you have a robust relationship and can both talk about the 'what if it doesn't happen' then you will be OK.
Good luck! I posted in the TTC with Metformin and Clomid thread as well (that is where I'm at the moment)... just remember you may not have to get to IVF, there are a number of steps before that to consider.
Thanks guys. Hubby and I do have a strong relationship and I doubt that he would have any problems coping with the setbacks. He's an extremely positive person who is always looking for the good in every situation - which is a little frustrating as his way of trying to comfort me is by telling me to "just think positively and it will happen". If only it was easy!!
Sal we've been TTC for 14 months on Chlomid so doc says that if nothing happens within next 3 months she will refer us to an IVF clinic. Hubby's tests have come back fine and from what she can tell the PCOS is under control and endo has been removed. She can't see any other reason why we aren't able to conceive.
Gee, 14 months on clomid is a long time! Most docs won't persist that long. You probably know that clomid can help women ovulate but it can also make the cervical mucous hostile to sperm, so 40% of women who do ovulate on it don't fall pg. I have done 6 cycles of that myself, I think I fell into the latter category as I ovulated on all but one of the cycles. Depending on your age, it might be worth trying ovulation and IUI before IVF??
Hey, that's great that your DH is so positive, I'm sure you'll be OK then. :)
Sorry Sal - wasnt clear earlier. Have been TTC for 14 months - 9 months on chlomid - but by the time the 3 months are up it'll be 1 year on the meds. I haven't really looked into options like IUI as deep down I'm hoping to avoid any other assisted methods :pray: . Do you know where I can go online to read up on all the different procedures??
BTW have just looked at your photos of Miles - he's absolutely gorgeous! Congratulations!
Thanks Tina, I think Miles is gorgeous, but I'm biased :)
If you go to the sydneyIVF website (just add .com to sydneyivf and you'll be there...sorry there are strict rules about what links you can post) they can send you a free guide to assisted conception. I went through SIVF and can't recommend them highly enough. Dr Mark Bowman is who I saw and he is wonderful.
Good luck!
Will look into it. Thanks so much Sal!!
HI Teepee
the others have covered the relationships issue but the cost - if you are near Westmead - Westmead Fertility centre I recommend - not public but not for profit based in Westmead hosp .We conceived twins (now 32wks pg) on our 2nd IVF cycle. The nurses (most of them) are wonderful ... you see a DR of your choice to start with but he may not do all your procedures. Their costs are very affordable especially with medicare rebate. The upfront costs are considerably lower than most private clinics too.NO hospital inpatient costs either.
Check the Cost of IVF thread.
RPA hospital also has a public clinic - lower costs than Westmead I am told from others I know now currently pregnant through them.
You can google any of them and Westmead will also send a CD and brochure pack explaining verything in detail - most clinics also have comprehensive websites.
Hope you don't need this though...:crossfingers: :fertilise:
with hope Trish
Thank you Trish. Westmead is not too far from us - about 30mins. Will have a look at their website. Good to hear you had success!
Congratulations on your twins :twin_neutral: . All the best with your pregnancy :bellyrubs: .
Tina,
I did 12 months of clomid and that seemed to be alot more emotionally draining on my me.The change over to IVF was good as it incorporated DH more in the process as my fertility doctor had never met my DH in all the 12 months of clomid and on my first IVF pick up he actually got to experience all the up's and downs I had done alone for 12 months. I found it was good that DH was always positive on cycles and many times he was the one that saw the "big picture" that was fading for us.
I would not know how much it has costs us all up and often we laugh about our many trips overseas and new cars we could have bought but the outcome of our daughter is far better than driving flashy cars and stamps in our passport.
I hope the clomid works this cycle and if not the IVF journey is short and sweet.
Bec
Bec I suppose thats where i've been lucky - hubby's been to every docs appointment with me and wants to be involved in the whole process emotionally as well. As for the cost of IVF I'll just have to wait and see how it all pans out and look into it more thoroughly if it comes down to having to take that option.
Tina,
Welcome to BB! It sounds like the girls have answered your questions really comprehensively, so the only thing I would add is that there is a thread here that talks at length about the cost of IVF if you're interested.
Hoping that the next 3 months brings success and you won't need to know what IVF costs!
After trying naturally to conceive for 6 years, we finally went thru IVF, and fell preg on the first go. (we tried IUI for a few months prior, but that did nt work for us)
I did'nt find it emotionally draining at all really, probably because i didnt expect to fall pregnant at all. I had already resigned myself to thinking I was never going to have children. So when it did work for us, I cried and cried happy tears for weeks, and still do just thinking about it! The Reproductive units do offer support in the way of councelling whilst going thru IVF if you feel you need it. There is always someone you can talk to.
Financially, it didnt break us, as we saved before hand, and most of it we got back from medicare anyway (Safety Net) Private health didnt cover anything except one of the drugs that i was taking.
The only thing that i didnt cope well with, was the amount of blood tests that i had to endure. I was never scared of needles, or blood being drawn, but after 3 months of it, I cringe at the thought now!!!
I think the best bet is to go in without any expectations, dont expect it to work for you so that you can deal with the dissapointment better if it doesnt work IYKWIM. And if it does work - it will be more of a suprise.
Good luck, I hope it all goes well for you.
Tina
Hi I hope all is going well for you.
My Dh sounds just like yours and I know what you mean when your DH comes out with things like "just think positively it will happen" some times you just wont to scream but we know that they mean well and most of the time they think they have to be the strong one.
I also find it hard to talk about it some times and DH just does not know were I am at so I started a dairy where I write all the good and bad things I am going though and I told him that he can read it, he finds this helpful because when Im really down he can read it a see what is up.
Also on the costs as bad as this sounds shop around as I found that there was a price vary of up to $3000 for a round of IVF.
I hope all goes well for you and DH and I will send some Baby dust your way.
I didnt find the first time emotionally draining - but as each time went by unsuccessfully, it has become more and more difficult. Here's hoping you are successful in the first go, when your spirits are high and hopeful :bluedust:
Thanks for the advice and positive vibes everyone!! I got a pack in the mail from SIVF today so will read through it tonight. I'll take comfort in knowing that things worked out for you guys and some of you went through this for a lot longer than I've been.
Thanks again!