Their eating habbits are making me nutso!! Could be long! [VENT/ADVICE]
Ok so I knwo there are a thousand threads around about kids who won't eat...but this is doing my head in!
DS just won't eat food that is very healthy for him. The only healthy foods he really eats is fruit. He will eat things like bread, pasta...but come to things like meat, veggies, actual meals (particularly dinner!) he just will not eat it. He refuses point blank to even put it in his mouth.
Now I have given the advice of not worrying, not letting it get stressful, being patient and just continue offering them the same foods everyone eats , modelling good eating....blah blah! But the last two nights, he has gone to bed having eaten nothing at all.
I stop feeding them snacky things by about 3.30pm, so that they are hungry for dinner. Dinner is at 5.30/6ish. We all sit at the table together. I put a little of all of the food that is on offer on his plate whether I think he will eat it or not. It's not extravagant(sp?) food. Last night I made homemade nuggets, homemade baked chips and raw carrot sticks (only veggie he eats besides fresh corn on the cob). That was it. All he ate was the tomato sauce.
I put alot of effort into trying to feed my kids healthy foods. And I don't know why I even bother anymore. DS just refuses to eat it. He would have been famished yesterday too, having been at childcare for the day. He usually comes home starving! DD ate her whole meal. Something she hasn't done in AGES! The night before I made homemade mac n cheese with a garden salad. I make the kids 'salad' so it's just battons of raw veggies. So, some carrot sticks, cucumber, capsicum and a little chopped lettuce. DS will not even put the food to his lips.
We have tried ignoring the fact he won't eat. We have tried encouragment, modelling...'Look, mmm, mummy loves chicken nuggets, oohh, YUM!!', we have tried bribery 'If you eat two nuggets you can have some yogurt!'. Or making him aware of DD eating, make it fun, like a race or something like that 'Look, Lily is eating some chippies, uh oh, she's going to beat you!!'. But he just flatly refuses to eat it. Even if he used to eat it. Like the nuggets. He used to love them. But now he won't eat any meat other than sausages. I don't like to feed him sausages too often. At most it's once a week. I'm not a fan of sausages, and they're just not very healthy!
I want him to have good habbits. I don't know why he's so fussy. He's just getting worse and worse. I try to put at least one food he will eat on the plate. Corn ont he cob, carrot sticks, chips....so that I can at least say 'Well done you ate your...whatever'. But lately he just won't eat all or much of anything at all.
I had been giving them both something afterwards if they didn't eat, usually fruit, so not anything big, but DD was starting to say 'I don't like this, I want an apple.' When I know she would eat it if there was nothing else on offer. I don't force them to eat anything ever. I express disappointment if they don't eat 'Mummy put alot of effort into making your dinner, I'm sad that you didn't try it'. I don't even mind if they try it and don't like it. I don't like some foods. So I know they won't like everything either. But I am so at a loss as to what to do. I hate sending DS to bed with absolutely no food in his tummy. If he doesn't eat dinner then it means he hasn't eaten since 3.30 in the afternoon. He will drink alot after dinner, probably cause he's hungry.
I'm worrying I'm making them have bad eating habbits. I already thing DD eats from stress. When she gets into trouble and is crying for being naughty and yelled at, she will say 'I'm hungry!' t change the subject. She also says 'I will eat all my dinner to get a treat'. I have also stopped doing that- if they ate all/most of their dinner they got custard or jelly or yogurt, occaisionally ice cream. But no more.
I just don't know what to do. I'm trying to be non reactive to their eating and trying to teach about healthy food and eating habbits, but it seems to be falling on deaf ears! Last night was DH's birthday and I made a cake for him. DH went on and on about if DS didn't eat dinner he wouldn't get any cake. By the end of it DS was sobbing his heart out and I had to leave the table because I was almost begging DS to eat to stop DH yelling and ranting at him. He's only 2 1/4yrs and I'm not sure if he gets the consequences of if you don't eat, no treats (especially when it's birthday cake!). I ended up sobbing hysterically because DH sent DS to his room for crying...it was horrible. Then DH put it into DD's hands (she's 3 1/2yrs) to decide if DS 'deserved' cake. DD said yes because he was sad about it and cake is yummy. Of course she just wanted DS to stop crying.
I just have no idea where to go with this! Do we continue with the no food after dinner rule. Even if it means they go to bed with totally empty tummies? Will they eventually sort it out? I want them to eat propper meals. I'm worried about DS's intake of things like iron and certain vitamins ect from veggies. I had been giving him a vitamin, but stopped when we ran out, maybe I should start again, just for peace of mind...
ARRRGGHH!!!! This is making me crazy. Most of the time I don't know why I bother!